Why Won’t He Ask Me Out? 27 Reasons & How to Get Him to Make a Move

He flirts with you and likes you. You flirt back too. But now you’re wondering, “why won’t he ask me out?” Here are some reasons he’s holding back.

Why Won’t He Ask Me Out

Is he giving all the right signs, but not really doing anything about it? Does he flirt with you, stare at you, but hold back from asking you out or telling you that he likes you? If he does, then you’re definitely wondering, why won’t he ask me out.

As frustrating as the circumstance could seem, it’s a lot more common than you think!

Girls may assume that just batting their eyelids at a guy or smiling at him is enough of a sign for him to approach them.

But to a guy, there are a million ways to interpret your display of invitation!

[Read: Does he know I like him? 18 signs he knows for sure that you have a crush on him]

Why isn’t he asking you out yet?

There are two ways of dealing with a crush in a guy’s mind when it comes to making a move on the girl he likes. One, he makes a bold move and tells a girl he likes her instantly or within a few days of liking her.

Or the other way, he waits patiently and works his courage up to make sure he asks the girl out at the right moment when he assumes she won’t decline him.

So, is this guy who’s flirting with you just biding his time while waiting for the right moment, or does he have something else in mind?

27 reasons why a guy may hold himself back from asking you out

Every scenario is different. But surprisingly, almost always, if a guy behaves like he likes you and hits on you, but stops himself from asking you out, the reasons are just a few.

And these reasons can sum up all the reasons behind why he’s withholding his display of love and stopping himself from telling you that he likes you. So if you want the answer to “why won’t he ask me out,” your answer lies in one of these reasons for sure!

1. He’s intimidated by you

So you think you’re a warm and friendly person? Well, think again! Does he look at you or try to catch your eye often? Has he ever tried to talk to you by walking up to you?

Perhaps, you see yourself as warm and friendly, but he thinks you’ll swat him away for even trying to talk to you! [Read: 13 charming ways to appear approachable to guys]

Try to be more approachable and friendly. And when you have the odd chance of coincidence, give him enough opportunities to strike a conversation with you. [Read: 15 accidental conversation starters you can use on a guy you like]

2. He’s taken

Yes, he could be dating someone else, or worse, married already! This is a huge reason why he won’t ask you out. Then why on earth is he staring at you?

Well, in all probability, he likes the attention he’s getting back from you. Or perhaps, he’s looking for a fling thing, but just biding his time for the right opportunity to seduce you! [Read: A guy with a girlfriend likes you… now what?!]

3. You’re too hot

If a guy flirts with you, sticks around you, and displays every sign that he’s crazy about you, and yet, he holds back from asking you out, he may just think you’re too good for him.

If a guy thinks you’re a goddess who would never even be interested in dating a mere mortal like him, he may just choose to hang out with you and subtly flirt with you, instead of asking you out on a real date. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and sexy flirting tips to use on a guy who likes you]

4. You mean too much to him

Are both of you good friends? Sometimes, however unlikely as this may seem, a guy may choose to stay friends with a girl he really likes instead of asking her out because he doesn’t want to ruin the perfect platonic relationship both of you share.

Simply put, he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend in his pursuit of trying to date you or sleep with you.

5. You’re taken

This is another very good reason he won’t ask you out. A guy may like you, but he won’t ask you out because he may have reasons to believe you like someone else or that you’re already seeing someone else. Your friends could have spread that rumor or he may have assumed it for some reason.

Now if you do like him, you need to make it clear to him *subtly* that you’re not interested in dating anyone but him. [Read: 15 subtle and fun ways to get a guy to ask you out]

6. He’s a shy baby

They do make them this way even in these non-conservative times. A guy may show every sign of liking you from afar, and yet not make any move to approach you or talk to you.

So what do you do? If you like him, well, drop a few signs and give him the reassurance he needs to man up and ask you out. [Read: How to get a shy guy to fall madly in love and ask you out]

7. He finds you too easy

Guys say they’re put off by a girl who plays hard to get, but at the same time, if you come across as very easy, that’ll give a guy more reasons to walk all over you, and walk away.

If you’re wondering why he hasn’t asked you out, ask yourself if you’re giving in to him too easily. At times, a guy may not make the effort to pursue you because he knows you’re very into him already, and he can have you with a snap of his fingers! [Read: How to attract and keep a guy interested in a way he’d find irresistible]

8. The happy flirter

He flirts with you and teases you, but he has no intention of taking it forward or asking you out. That’s why he won’t ask you out. Perhaps, he likes you but doesn’t want to date you. Or maybe you aren’t the kind of girl he’s looking for.

So, until he finds the right girl, he may just choose to flirt with you and use you as the backup girl. [Read: He likes you but he doesn’t want a relationship with you – What you should do about it]

9. He’s dating you in his mind

In his head, he thinks both of you are together already. He’s not considered the idea of naming the relationship, nor has he realized that you need words of love or reassurance to feel better about the nameless relationship both of you share.

If you’re in this dilemma, you just need to get him to say the words out loud. [Read: Are we in a relationship? How to know for sure if you’re a couple already]

10. He wants a fling with you

He may be a player who just wants a fling thing with you. You’ve asked him out already or you’ve hinted to him that you like him, but he deflects it and changes the conversation.

But surprisingly, he’s still touchy flirty all the time. If a guy likes feeling you up and teasing you, but avoids all talk of commitment, he’s probably looking at you like a one-night stand potential.

11. Waiting for you to ask him out

This may seem rather silly, but there could be the possibility that this guy you like is just waiting for you to ask him out.

If you really love a guy, dropping a few hints that you like him may just make the world conspire in your favor. [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy and suave girl]

12. He’s playing hard to get

He knows you like him a lot because you’ve made it pretty obvious to him time and again. And now, he’s waiting it out to see just how hard you’d try to win him over.

Or maybe he just wants to keep the relationship casual until he can make up his mind because he knows you’ll come running into his arms whenever he wants you to. [Read: Do guys play hard to get? The truth, 21 reasons and what you should do]

13. He’s waiting for the right moment

He’s a softie or a romantic, and as much as he likes you and is crazy about you, he’s just waiting for the right moment to ask you out.

But what’s this right moment, you ask? Well, who knows?! To make it easier, just make sure you give him several opportunities and alone time so he can work his courage up and ask you out. [Read: How to show a guy you like him and charm him while being a tease]

14. You’re a flirt 

If there’s one kind of girl most guys prefer to stay away from, it’s the serial flirter who makes every guy feel like a potential suitor!

If a guy you like thinks you’re a serial flirt, he may just end up leaving you for someone else because he can’t ever be sure about your sincerity towards him or your feelings for him.

15. The wrong relationship

He may be cautious to ask you out because others that matter to him may frown upon the relationship. A few great examples that could fall into this are office relationships, a best friend’s ex-lover, a relative, etc.

16. Commitment issues

He’s never really been in a serious relationship with any girl, and he just doesn’t see himself getting tied down by a girl anytime soon.

He may like you a lot, but his fear of commitment may be forcing him to bottle his feelings for you. He won’t ask you out because he probably doesn’t want any real relationship. [Read: 10 sure signs he’s got the fear of commitment]

17. He needs time 

He could be a really good guy, but you may have come across him at the wrong time. He’s still healing from a past relationship that went sour, or he’s going through some serious issues in life that are stopping him from committing to you or expressing his love for you because he doesn’t believe he’s ready to get into a new relationship just yet.

18. He doesn’t find you attractive

This is a gut-wrenching reason, and no girl wants to hear that. But let’s face it – sometimes there is just no chemistry there for him.

Sexual attraction is a strange and elusive thing. You might feel it, but maybe he doesn’t. And if that’s true, he is not going to ask you out.  [Read: How to tell if there’s no chemistry and you should really stop trying]

19. He doesn’t think you’d be compatible

Maybe you are an extrovert and a social butterfly, and he’s more of an introvert and homebody.

He might be afraid that you will make him go out and socialize all the time. Or the opposite could be true if you are more introverted. He needs to see some compatibility when it comes to your personalities.

20. He’s scared of rejection

No one likes to get rejected, including guys. Even though it’s a social expectation for the guy to ask the girl out, some guys are so paralyzed by the risk of being turned down that they just don’t act at all. He thinks it’s safer not to ask you out than to risk you rejecting him! [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you but is afraid you’ll reject him]

21. Just got out of a serious relationship

It could be that he just got out of one, or maybe you got out of one. Either way, he might think that one or both of you are not ready to pursue a new romantic partnership yet and that you will just be a rebound. Maybe down the line, he will change his mind if you both heal from your breakups.

22. Only wants FWB situation

He knows you’re a high-quality girl who wants a committed relationship. And in some way, he thinks you’re too good for him, and he can’t give you what you want.

He might only be looking for someone to sleep with, and he knows you won’t put up with that FWB situation. [Read: Why do guys only hook up with me? And all you want is a boyfriend!]

23. He doesn’t know you well enough

Maybe you just met him, and he hasn’t had enough time to assess the kind of person you are. He might want to get to know you better to see if you’re really someone he is interested in before he asks you out.

24. One of his friends liked you first

It’s not uncommon for friends to fall for the same girl. But if his friend “claimed” you first, he might be holding back out of respect for his buddy. He might be dying to ask you out, but he doesn’t want to ruin his friendship. [Read: What if you and your friend are into the same woman?]

25. He is friends with your ex

Similar to the last reason, he might be friends with your ex-boyfriend. And there is a “bro code” that says that you shouldn’t date your friends’ ex-girlfriends. It kind of sucks for you, but at least the guy is loyal to his friends.

26. He has no idea you like him

Let’s face it – some guys are just absolutely clueless when it comes to girls. You might be thinking that you are throwing out signs and hints that you like him, but he could be missing them all. So, maybe he would ask you out if he knew, but he just doesn’t. [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 true reasons that may hold the answer]

27. He knows it’s not an option

There are a lot of reasons why you wouldn’t be an option in his mind. It could be that you live on opposite ends of the country. Or one of you is a lot older than the other one. Whatever it is, there might be something going in his head that makes him think you are not an option.

[Read: How to get a boyfriend – A no-nonsense guide to bagging your dream guy!]

So, are you still wondering why he won’t ask me out yet? Well, in all probability, these signs will definitely give you the answer!

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Gerry Sanders
Gerry Sanders
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