If you’re in a relationship, you know it’s normal for couples to argue. But when your boyfriend ignores you after, do you wonder why?
We will talk about what to do when your boyfriend ignores you, but what’s important is to look at why they ignore you first. That way, you kinda see where their behavior originates. This doesn’t mean you should excuse the fact that he’s ignoring you, don’t let it slide. But knowing the root cause helps you decide which angle to approach this from.
Again, this doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it gives you a better idea of what’s going on in his head. Since ignoring you is his go-to move, you should be the bigger person and approach the subject. It’s clear that he won’t. [Read: Understand the characteristics of a healthy relationship and end the shitty ones]
5 reasons why he’s ignoring you
Whoever said relationships were easy has never been in a relationship—or not a normal one. Of course, when you’re in a relationship, it’s normal for people to disagree and argue sometimes. You may not like it, but it happens in any relationship. But the way you come out of a fight is what matters.
Everyone argues, but how does the argument end? Are you talking about what happened or is someone ignoring the other for days on end? Now, no one is perfect but ignoring someone is a sign of immaturity. It isn’t cool.
And men say women are complicated—yeah, right. [Read: Silent treatment abuse and how you need to respond to it]
#1 He’s angry at you. If you just had an argument with him and he’s been ignoring you, well, then you have your answer. Obviously, he’s upset with you. Now, him ignoring you could be one of two things.
He could be so angry that he just needs some space from you. Or, secondly, he’s using this as a way to manipulate you into admitting fault. It really depends on the fight you had and your role in it. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
#2 He feels suffocated. When your boyfriend ignores you, this could be another reason too. You’re not necessarily clingy for wanting to spend time with him, everyone has their own personal space and amount of alone time they need to recharge. But this doesn’t mean he should ignore you, instead, he could tell you that he needs space instead. [Read: The obvious hints guys give when they need space]
#3 He’s cheating on you. Okay, before I say anything, remember, just because they’re ignoring you, doesn’t mean they’re cheating. This is possibly the most drastic reason behind why he’s ignoring you, so don’t freak out. If you feel he’s cheating on you, you need to look at other behaviors as well. [Read: The unintentional behaviors a cheating guy can’t hide]
#4 He’s thinking about breaking up. When we’re thinking about breaking up with someone, we distance ourselves from the person in order to make the breakup easier for ourselves. I know, we’re selfish but that’s just human for ya. He’s making his decision and while doing so, he’s pushing you away.
#5 He has other things going on in his life. Whether it’s work or school, he could be really stressed in other areas of his life and as a result, he ignores you. Now, this may not be intentional, but he’s not keeping your feelings in check either.
The things you need to do when your boyfriend ignores you
No one likes being ignored. So, it’s time to take action and stand up for yourself when your boyfriend ignores you without any explanation. Don’t let him behave like this towards you.
#1 Don’t “pay him back.” I know that you’re probably giving him a taste of his own medicine. In some cases, it can work but let’s be honest, is that really showing him that you don’t appreciate his behavior? The only way for him to understand that his behavior is wrong is if you talk to him. Don’t try to do the whole “he needs a taste of his own medicine” because that won’t solve the problem. [Read: How to grow up and behave like an adult]
#2 Communicate with him. If you don’t communicate with him, it’s only going to get worse. Communication is key, and it can solve a lot of issues that you’re experiencing as a couple and on your own. So, if it’s bothering you that he ignores you, I recommend that you just sit down with him and talk about it.
You may find out things that you didn’t know before. Make sure you talk about how this makes you feel.
#3 Spend time with family and friends. Well, you can’t change his behavior, but you can change yours. Don’t sit at home twiddling your fingers, instead, go out and spend time with the people that care about you. He’ll come around but don’t wait for him in the meantime.
#4 Don’t chase him around. When we feel that we’re going to lose something, we try to grab onto it even harder, but it never works. If he’s ignoring you, don’t panic and start texting and phoning him twenty times. Instead, back off and give him the time he needs. When he’s ready, he’ll come to you and that’s when you sit down and talk about it. [Read: How to ignore a guy and leave him chasing you]
#5 Set boundaries. He can’t keep ignoring you every time something doesn’t please him. You need to set firm personal boundaries in order to protect yourself. He needs to know that you won’t be putting up with this behavior any further. If he continues to use this strategy as a way to deal with his problems, you don’t need this. [Read: What boundaries should you consider when dating someone]
#6 Wait for him to connect with you. He needs to make the first move and reach out to you. If not, you’re just going to be chasing him like a lost puppy and that doesn’t look as cute as it does on Instagram. Only time will tell what will happen and if he continues to ghost you, you’ll have to end it yourself.
#7 Don’t let it absorb all your thoughts. This is going to bother you, but refocus your attention and do not let it ruin your day. This is his behavior and you can only control your own behavior. I know that you have many unanswered questions but having it consume all your thoughts won’t change the fact that he’s ignoring you. [Read: How to make a guy realize he’s losing you]
#8 Practice self-care. No one likes being ignored, and in fact, it’s extremely hurtful. If your boyfriend has done this a couple of times, each time is like a knife to the heart. So, rather than getting sucked in, focus on yourself and practicing self-care. Think about your emotions and how they affect you. Write your feelings down, go for walks, and be around supportive people. [Read: How to take care of yourself as a woman]
#9 Talk about finding a solution with him. After figuring out why he’s behaving this way, then you can figure out how to solve it. Of course, at the end of the day, he’s going to need to work on this, but you may have played a larger role in this than you originally thought. This obviously goes deep, so, by knowing the root problem, this behavior can be changed.
[Read: The 15 signs your guy feels guilty for hurting you]
Ignoring people isn’t going to help any situation. When your boyfriend ignores you, it hurts even more. But now you know exactly what to do when he starts with this behavior.
