13 Signs of Insecurity in a Man that Can Ruin a Great Relationship

We’re all insecure sometimes, but you don’t want to be with someone who comes with too many insecurities. Catch the red flag signs of insecurity in a man.

signs of insecurity in a man

Right now you’re not thinking about the consequences of insecurities because it’s fun and new. But there’s a reason why people tell you not to date overly insecure men. Insecurities are one thing, but an overly insecure man can easily start to control your actions, restrict your freedoms, and become abusive. So, it’s time you learned the signs of insecurity in a man, that way you avoid them the moment you see them.

Signs of insecurity in a man

People advise others to steer clear of insecure partners. The thing is, everyone is insecure to some extent. You’re not going to find someone who doesn’t have some sort of insecurity. I wish I was thinner, he wishes he was taller, she wishes she drove a nicer car. These are all insecurities we live with. But with that being said, you don’t have to be with a partner full of insecurities. [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]

As we all know, our insecurities can have the ability to get in the way of what we do or how we feel. Now, for most of us, we know our triggers and are able to control them when they pop up. But there are some people simply loaded with insecurities, ones so inflated they can’t control the outcomes. Catch the red flags before they catch you.

#1 He puts you down. Now it’s normal to tease each other, that’s nothing to be wary about. However, if you’re noticing that he’s putting you down, making comments about your looks, weight, intelligence, then that’s when you need to be cautious. Teasing is one thing, but if he’s putting you down rather than supporting you, he’s insecure. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls just don’t notice]

#2 He has no friends. He just has no friends. He never speaks about his friends, doesn’t seem to go out with anyone. He just hangs out with you. Now, hanging out with you is a good thing, but let’s be honest, everyone has friends. If he doesn’t seem to have friends around him then there’s a reason why, and something you need to explore. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

#3 He’s always threatening to break up with you. Whenever you have a disagreement with him, he threatens to leave or break up with you. Normally, people would talk it out and see how to fix the situation. Instead, he goes right to the extreme. This is because he’s insecure and trying to manipulate you. He wants you to get on your knees and beg for him to stay and that’s all because of his weak ego.

#4 He tells you he loves you after the first date. Yeah, if you hear this, then run. Don’t even bother exchanging numbers. This guy will never leave you alone if you do. If he’s telling you that he loves you right away, those are some strong warning signs of someone extremely insecure. If you haven’t even gone through appetizers, put your fork down and leave. [Read: Is he saying “I love you” too soon?]

#5 He’s all over your social media. This guy sees everything you post. Every. Little. Thing. He makes sure he comments on each of them and makes sure everyone sees. If you post something he doesn’t like, don’t worry, he’s going to tell you right away. When someone stalks you on social media, no matter who they are, it’s creepy and one of the stronger signs of insecurity in a man.

#6 He thinks you’re still into your ex. You may not have even had an ex, but in his eyes, you’ve had many. You could have been with someone and broken up years ago, but to him, you’re still not over your ex. Of course, this just makes you want to prove to him even more that he’s the one, but that’s what he wants. For him to see that you love him and only him, you need to show him. 

#7 He doesn’t take criticism. Don’t bother saying anything that’ll crush his already fragile ego. This guy can’t take any criticism. It could be something small but to him, you’re attacking his entire being. Though don’t doubt it for a second, he’ll have no problem criticizing you and telling you what you need to change. You cannot make him look smaller than you.

#8 He needs validation… all the time. At first, you thought that him asking you, “do you love me?” was cute and sweet. But now, it’s annoying. It’s like he’s just waiting for you to tell him so that he’ll feel some validation. However, even when you say it to him, it’s not enough. Now, let’s not forget, we all like to be validated. However, there’s a limit and if he crosses it and borders into annoyance, it’s clearly one of the signs of insecurity in a man. [Read: 10 signs to recognize selfish people and 5 steps to walk away]

#9  He needs constant attention. This guy needs more attention than a two year-old. He always needs you to touch him or look at him when you’re together. When you’re not together, he needs you to constantly tell him what you’re doing and where you are. This isn’t about attention, this is about control, and he’s all over it.

#10 He’s jealous of your friends. He can’t stand that you give your attention to other people who aren’t him. He wants to go everywhere you go when you’re with your friends, but what he’d really like is if you didn’t have any friends. And don’t even get me started if you have male friends, he’ll lose his mind. [Read: How to tell when a guy is jealous – 25 hints he just can’t hide]

#11 He likes to be the alpha male. He needs to be a man. You should know right away, guys that need to be the “alpha male” are not secure with themselves, that’s why they’re compensating with being overly masculine. They think that by being masculine they’ll mask their insecurities. However, it’s not effective. He needs to show he’s a man. It has nothing to do with you, this is all about him.

#12 You feel suffocated. You know when someone is too much. It’s just that you don’t want to lose them because of insecurity. See how that works? But deep down you know they are or else you wouldn’t be feeling suffocated. If you’re feeling choked, it’s because you are being choked. He’s not allowing you to be your own person, and that is a huge red flag. [Read: The signs you’re past the point of no return and need to break up]

#13 He can’t handle that you’ve slept with other people. If he knew just how many people you slept with, he would have a heart attack. Even if he was your second, that’s already one person too many. If he had it his way, you would be his one and only. He’s so insecure that you’ve been with better and that you’re too sexual, something that he couldn’t handle. So sad in this era, right?

[Read: How to deal with an insecure boyfriend and forgo the frustration]

Now that you know the signs of insecurity in a man, it’s time for you to ask yourself, “Is my man insecure?” It’s a simple question, but not an easy one to answer.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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