Sometimes relationships aren’t meant to last. Feelings change, people change. Know the signs he wants you to leave him alone and save your own heart.
It’s hard to accept the truth when you really like someone. Whether you’re crushing on someone or you’ve been in a relationship and things seem to have gone a little cold, changes in the way someone acts around you can be hard to take. You desperately want to find out what’s wrong, but sometimes there are no actual words, the feelings have just changed. By knowing the signs he wants you to leave him alone, you can give him the space he clearly wants and stop hurting yourself.
It’s not easy, that’s for sure. When you really care and they don’t, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. You desperately want the situation to change.
But the truth is, if you hang around waiting for a small chance that he’s going to change his mind, you’re wasting your time and you’re prolonging the pain. You just need to walk away with your head held high and know that none of it is your fault.
Sometimes, things are just not meant to be.
[Read: How to lose feelings for someone & let go of the might have beens]
Why do feelings change?
There is no answer to that question. Nobody really knows. You can be so in love with someone at the start, only to notice that your feelings start to wane over time.
After a few months, maybe a year, you feel differently. Things just don’t do it for you anymore. You don’t feel like you’re actually in love with them anymore, even though you care about them deeply. Life ebbs and flows, just like people and feelings.
Feelings can change when something happens in a relationship. For instance, cheating. If a partner is cheated on and decides to continue with the relationship, it’s possible that over time, resentment will set in. That’s not always going to be the case, but for some it is. No matter how hard they try, they just can’t see past the cheating and they can’t see their partner in the same way anymore. [Read: 13 subtle changes in your partner that are red flags]
If something has happened in your relationship, that’s possibly the reason why he’s showing you signs he wants you to leave him alone. However, if you’re not in a relationship and you’re getting those vibes, the truth is that he’s decided he’s just not that into you.
Sorry. We know it’s harsh, but some people just aren’t suited over the long term. The good news is that there are plenty out there who are, and you’ll find yours too. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back?! 31 reasons why guys do this]
The most obvious signs he wants you to leave him alone
It’s not easy for people to openly say they want you to leave them alone. Many people are uncomfortable with the awkwardness of the situation, so they drop not-so-obvious hints. Of course, you ignore them because who wants to see that someone doesn’t like them?
But it’s time to face the facts and stop wasting your time on someone who doesn’t want the same things as you.
There are other people out there that will appreciate you, but this isn’t your guy. Don’t bury your head in the sand and think that it’s going to change. [Read: The painful signs he’s not into you and when to move on]
It’s time to move on.
1. He takes ages to reply to you
When you text him, he takes hours or even days to text back. He’s even online during that time but doesn’t take a second to read what you have to say. If he really liked you, he would respond because he cares. [Read: Your guide for what to do when a guy doesn’t text back]
2. He’s disconnected during sex
If you’re still having sex with this guy, stop. Just stop. He doesn’t deserve you, and it sounds like he’s just keeping you around for pleasure. Not cool.
If he’s having sex with you but not engaging with you, that’s a serious problem. You’re not a doll. [Read: The signs he just wants sex and is only using you for his enjoyment]
3. He’s the king of one-worded texts
Ah yes, the one-worded text. Okay, we all send one-worded texts every now and then if we’re busy, but if he’s consistently only replying with one-worded answers and not asking you any questions, then it’s time you left him alone.
4. He’s happiest when he’s around other people
When you’re not around, he’s the happiest person on earth. When you’re next to him, it seems like he has a dark, heavy cloud over him. This is one of those clear signs he wants you to leave him alone, and that something is going on inside his head and he’s not enjoying the time he spends with you.
5 He doesn’t open up to you
For a couple to connect on an emotional level, they must share deep feelings with each other and connect with one another.
But he’s stopped talking to you about anything intimate going on in his life. He keeps the conversation very minimal and basic. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
6. He spends time with other women
Now, it’s normal for men to have female friends. However, if he’s suddenly hanging out with women he’s just met for the first time, then that’s fishy. If he’s meeting other women, the odds are he’s seeing what’s out there. [Read: The troubling signs he’s losing interest and will walk away from you soon]
7. He makes plans without you
It’s normal for couples to make plans together. It’s also normal for couples to make plans without their partner, but it’s about finding the right balance. If he’s planning future trips and holidays with only his friends, excluding you, then what’s going on?
8. He’s stopped all affectionate behavior
He used to hug, kiss, and touch you, but that’s all come to a stop. And this is a serious sign that something’s off. Why would he stop being affectionate towards you? What’s going on? [Read: 16 signs he’s slowly but surely losing interest in you]
9. He doesn’t spend time with you
A couple should spend time together; it’s a relationship. The less time you spend with someone, the less you communicate with them. If your partner really wants to be with you *unless there’s a special reason* he wouldn’t avoid spending time with you.
10. He picks fights with you
Looking for subtle signs he wants you to leave him alone, and worse, actually wants to completely disconnect from you? Ask yourself if you two are constantly fighting over petty things that aren’t worthy of an argument.
He wants you to break up with him, but he’s too scared to do it himself. So, he picks stupid fights with you just so that you’ll get angry enough to make the move for him. [Read: 15 signs he wants to break up with you but is too afraid to say it]
11. He doesn’t post anything with you on social media
You used to be all over his social media, but he’s made it clear he doesn’t want you on it anymore. There are no more posts with you included, and if there are photos, he looks very single in them. [Read: Don’t fall for it, the rom com cliches never work in real life]
12. You feel something is off
You’re not stupid; you feel that something isn’t right between you. Of course, there could be other reasons why. But if you notice multiple signs, then ask yourself if he really likes you.
13. He does things you normally do together, alone
If he used to involve you in certain things and he’s suddenly stopped, ask yourself why. He doesn’t see a future with you anymore and he’s trying to extract himself from the relationship.
For instance, if you always used to go to see a live band at the weekends and he’s started going with his friends, that’s a strong sign. Don’t hang around – make your own plans and live your life. [Read: The selfish boyfriend – How to find the balance and help him change]
Not only does he spend time with other women but you notice that he’s outright flirting with them on social media. This is nothing but disrespectful to you and you deserve a whole lot better.
15. He’s not around when you need him
If you ask for help and he’s suddenly very busy, he’s clearly not feeling it anymore. If he cared, he would drop whatever he needed to drop if you ask for his assistance.
The fact that he’s not helping means he isn’t really all that interested and he’s trying to show you in the meanest of ways. [Read: Damsel in distress – Why men find them so irresistible]
It’s possible that he makes the odd comment. He’s trying to tell you that he doesn’t want to be in this relationship anymore, but he’s not actually coming out and saying it clearly.
Of course, don’t read into everything he says but if he makes a comment that really can’t be passed off as anything else, take it as read and do what you need to do – leave him the hell alone and find someone better.
17. He acts as though you’re invisible
There’s really no excuse for this sign but it’s something a guy may do if you’re not taking the hint. Of course, he’s acting like a coward because if he needs to tell you something, he should just come out and say it. He may act as though you’re not even there, as though you’re invisible to him.
18. He seems tired of you
Again, this isn’t something you should have to put up with, but it’s one of the signs he wants you to leave him alone. When you talk, he might roll his eyes, sigh, or generally seem tired of it all.
That’s because he’s no longer in the relationship in his head or heart. Despite that, it’s no excuse for rudeness and disrespect. [Read: 17 signs of disrespect in a relationship that reveal a lack of love]
19. People tell you it’s over
If he’s a total coward and really can’t face telling you that his feelings have changed, he might get someone else to do it through a series of hints. If a mutual friend makes comments that leave you in no doubt that the relationship is all but over, listen to it. [Read: 20 signs a relationship is over already – How to recognize the end & move on]
Don’t hang around and wait
If you’re seeing many of these signs, it’s time to get out. Let’s be honest, he’s already out of the relationship anyway, it’s just not actually official yet.
You do not have to put with this type of cowardly behavior and it should definitely make you question why you would want to be with someone like this anyway.
If he can’t sit down with you and have an adult conversation about the situation, he’s not worth the time or your feelings. There is someone out there who would never make you feel unwanted or alone. In the meantime, live your life, focus on yourself, and don’t blame yourself for the fact that your partner’s feelings changed.
[Read: Why something feels off in your relationship and how to sniff out the cause]
If you’re not sure whether he’s showing signs he wants you to leave him alone, give it some real thought and ask yourself how many of these things you see in your relationship.