My Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust Me: 10 Reasons He Has Trust Issues

If you feel, my boyfriend doesn’t trust me, it is hard. Especially if you’ve never given them cause not to. But, it isn’t your problem, it’s on them.

my boyfriend doesn't trust me

If you think, my boyfriend doesn’t trust me, and I don’t know why, it obviously makes your life miserable. If you don’t have trust, you can’t have a relationship. Nothing is more of a cancer in a relationship than when you stop losing faith that the other person is honest with you. If your boyfriend continually checks up on you, scanning your phone, or stalking your social media, then those are all signs he doesn’t trust you.

My boyfriend doesn’t trust me – 10 reasons why he has these issues

If you haven’t given him a reason not to trust you then it isn’t on you, it is on him. There are all sorts of things that cause distrust in a relationship whether real or imagined. Unless you get to the root of his distrust, your union will never be blissful or stable.

#1 He is extremely insecure. When someone is extremely insecure, they worry continually about what everyone thinks and how they come across. If he is super insecure, he constantly looks for clues that confirm his suspicions that you don’t like him, aren’t attracted to him, or want someone else.

Insecure people are just that. Never secure about their relationships, their friendships, or anything else. They feel like they forever stand in quicksand. [Read: Are insecure men worth dating?]

#2 He thinks you are out of his league. If he thinks that you are a 10 and he is a two, he was incredibly excited to become your boyfriend. The problem is that everywhere you go, guys fall all over themselves. It has him wondering why you are with him and when you will wake up and leave.

If a guy thinks that he was just in the right place at the right time, he might be worried that you are going to wake up, take a look around, and not like what you find.

#3 He was cheated on before you. Let’s admit it, getting over being cheated on is a very hard thing to do. Some people just never come back from it. If you know that his previous girlfriend had a problem with monogamy, when they were supposed to be monogamous, give him a break and try to calm his fears.

Until he learns that not everyone he loves is going to screw him over and learns to trust again, he fears it happening again. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. Some battle scars are hard to cover and take longer to heal. [Read: How to show love: 15 sweet gestures to express love without words]

#4 One of his parents cheated. If he grew up in a household where either his mother or his father was a serial cheater, then he learned the ugliness a relationship could endure. The biggest role models that any child has on how relationships work are their parents.

If he saw the carnage that cheating could do, then he probably tries to protect his heart. There is nothing worse than seeing your mom cry or watching your dad walk out the door because of a lack of faithfulness. It forever taints the way you see life and marriage.

#5 He is controlling. When a guy is controlling, then they want to own all of you. If they can’t, then they assume you must be cheating on them. Someone who is all about the control isn’t ever going to trust you because they are always going to want to be in control of every part of you.

A controlling man will be jealous of you having another boyfriend, a really good friend, and your family. Jealousy is all he has. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]

#6 He caught you lying in the past. Even if it was something insignificant and small to you, that doesn’t mean it didn’t really bother him. If you were a good liar about something once, then there isn’t any reason to believe that you won’t be again.

Some people are good liars while others are not. If you prove you can look them in the eye and tell them a mistruth, then there is a reason they might start to question you. [Read: How to regain your partner’s trust after you’ve lied]

#7 He is overly jealous. Some guys are just overly jealous. If he grew up not ever getting what he wanted or having to sacrifice when he saw everyone else get what they want, then he might just have a jealous nature.

Some people are just born more jealous and envious of people around them. If he feels like he has never been given his proper share of the pie, then you are just included in his whole jealous nature. [Read: How to reassure and win over a super jealous lover]

#8 Your relationship hit a plateau, and he’s afraid you lost feelings for him. When you go from lust and can’t get enough of each other to a more endearing and kinder love, it might be sending him the wrong signal. If the heat starts to fizzle in the relationship, he might just be worried that you lost your feelings for him.

He also might be thinking you are into someone else, which could drive his jealous feelings. If you haven’t had sex in like two weeks, he might either be worried that you are getting it elsewhere or thinking about wanting to get it elsewhere.

#9 He’s cheating on you. Transference is a psychological term where someone does something themselves, they transfer onto you. If he cheats, then he might mentally justify his actions by accusing you of doing the same.

A good way to distract yourself from guilt is accusing someone of doing what you do yourself, then it is easier to live with yourself. [Read: 17 clear signs that he is cheating: Ignore them at your own peril]

#10 He cheated on someone in his past. Even if he isn’t cheating on you, if he cheated on someone in his past, then it might make him more susceptible to believe that everyone cheats. Wanting to preserve his self-image, he believes that if he is capable, then anyone is. Even you.

And, therefore, that might make him more suspicious than he should be. There are all different reasons why a guy believes that his girlfriend is cheating. Whether it is something you did or he is just making it up, the only way to have a solid relationship with someone is if there is trust. If you just can’t seem to get his trust, then you are going to have a hard time having a successful union.

[Read: Relationship without trust: Can *or should* it last?]

You can’t spend your time trying to get someone to trust you if you haven’t given them any reason not to. That is on them, and, sometimes, you just stand back and let them sort it out for themselves.

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Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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