There is nothing sexy about a misogynistic man. Disrespectful and downright arrogant, learn the signs of a misogynist and avoid at all costs!
We all know that the bad boys are a law unto themselves, but to many women, it’s like a moth to a flame. There’s something addictive and somewhat thrilling about being around a guy with the bad boy label. But, sometimes bad boys have a tendency to allow their arrogance to turn into something altogether more sinister. If you’re wondering what’s a misogynist, or you want to know the signs of a misogynist, you’ve come to the right place.
You see, there is a moodiness and a mystery to the bad boys. They are the guys who live on the edge and don’t give a damn. They are the ones that have a permanent smirk and usually a great head of hair. But women need to look out for each other. These bad boys are often not all that respectful of women, and that’s not something you need in your life.
Of course, a misogynist doesn’t have to be a bad boy. A guy might appear all wonderful and wholesome, only to reveal his true colors. [Read: Signs you’re dating a self-obsessed narcissist]
What’s a misogynist?
A misogynist is someone that dislikes women. But, it is not as simple as that. You might think, why would a misogynist date a woman? Well, it isn’t just about disliking women. It is about being disrespectful and prejudiced toward women. Most of the time, they don’t even realize that they’re misogynistic, it’s just something that’s so deeply ingrained within them, they simply believe it to be true.
And the hard part is that it is not always so clear at the start. Misogynists are not always blatant. Often the signs of a misogynist are pretty subtle. These men may appear to care for their mom and their sister with gallant protection. But in reality, these men are manipulative and will do anything to overpower a woman.
Misogynists, deep down, are afraid of women, especially powerful women. They will do whatever it takes to control you and put you down. Essentially, whether they are aware of their misogynist tendencies or not, this type of man enjoys making women feel weak. Ever heard of mansplaining? That’s just one thing that a misogynistic guy will do to try and rob you of your power and make you feel less than yourself.
Not one woman in the world deserves a man like this in her life. [Read: 18 ways to spot a woman hater]
The psychology of a misogynist
But, how does a misogynist become this way? Is it just decided at birth? Is it society or their parents?
Well, for centuries, the world has conformed to these separate ideals of femininity and masculinity. But, as most people living in modern times, we know that there is a level to which this way of thinking and living is toxic.
But, according to specialists, society shouldn’t take all the blame. You often see the signs of a misogynist in men who had traumatic childhoods, especially poor relationships with their mothers.
In an article from GQ, titled, “Men hating women: A look into the psychology of misogyny,” the author wrote, “The male child feels that to be dependent on a woman is dangerous and this makes him feel vulnerable, which, without wishing to sound like Yoda, leads to fear, which leads to sadism. That anxiety is repressed and expressed via the unconscious as misogyny.” [Read: 19 inspiring male feminist ideas from men around the world]
Naturally, all children will undergo hardships, but young men who experience neglect or abuse are more likely to show signs of hyper-masculinity. This means he will be quick to rage, competitive, and even misogynist to promote the idea that he doesn’t need to depend on a woman.
None of this means that men become misogynists because of their mothers. We are all influenced by our parents, but we don’t all become angry or misled. Misogynists refuse to accept responsibility for their actions and are reluctant to admit what they are.
Like most poor behavior from men, the root cause is shame, so misogyny is the defense mechanism. Sure, it’s sad, but not sad enough to feel sorry for them. [Read: Signs of internalized misogyny]
Signs of a misogynist
To avoid a misogynist at all costs, you should know how to spot one as soon as possible. Some signs will be more obvious than others, so be on the lookout for these misogynist red flags.
As soon as you see one of these red flags waving, run in the opposite direction.
1. He talks over women
Everyone is guilty of interrupting once in a while, but if he only does this when women are talking, he shows clear signs of being a misogynist.
Whether you, your friends, or even his mother, if he talks over women repeatedly and feels what he has to say is more important than anything you may have to say, he disrespects you and all other women. He may even hear a woman’s idea and reject it only to then claim it as his own. [Read: How to deal with a disrespectful boyfriend in the best way possible]
2. He criticizes your looks
A man that respects women will compliment you or say nothing at all. But if he continuously criticizes your style, makeup, or hair, he feels he has the right to. He thinks women must only care about their looks to impress him.
And this isn’t a man saying he prefers polka dots to floral prints. If a man tells you to cover up, that women who wear too much makeup look promiscuous, or that if you wear a short skirt, you’re asking for it, he is not just a misogynist but is promoting rape culture in our society. Men have no say in what you do or do not wear. [Read: Types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
3. He undermines your opinion
Men who despise women will cut them off when they are speaking and ignore them together. If you are concerned about something he will say, you’re crazy or emotional. He may even claim he knows better or that you aren’t smart enough to participate in a specific discussion.
4. With every compliment is a criticism
Men who are misogynists know how to hide it at first. They may throw out the compliments, but they will always be physical. Men who see women as a lower class will tell a woman she is beautiful or hot but never compliment her mind.
He may even add an insult to every compliment. Saying something like you’re beautiful for a librarian. Or you shouldn’t waste your looks working in an office. He thinks he is complimenting you but is really solely defining you by your looks. [Read: Types of men you shouldn’t date if you want a good guy]
5. He won’t take no for an answer
Misogynists seem to think women exist only to please them. They somehow believe we owe them something. If this man bought you a drink and you had no interest in talking to him or going home with him, he will make a fuss. He will say he bought you a drink, and now you owe him.
If he asks to dance or for a date and you say no, he will demand a reason why. And he will not accept that answer unless you say you have a boyfriend because he can only respect another man, not a woman. [Read: Accepting drinks from strangers – The things you need to know]
6. He doesn’t take you seriously
Whether you share a concern about his behavior, your relationship, or even something like politics, he may nod along or say okay. Still, he won’t take a word you say seriously.
A misogynist thinks that women’s opinions have no place in serious discussions.
7. He respects men’s opinions
As misogynists hate and disrespect women, they will often care about their respect for other men. They will look up to men, listen to men, and confide in men. He will never go to a woman for advice or her opinion. He’s part of that guys-only club that he thinks is the most important thing in the world. [Read: 15 signs of a lack of respect in a relationship that you can’t ignore]
8. He supports Trump
Supporting Trump is a big sign of a misogynist, as well as a red flag in many other ways. If a man supports Trump, he is accepting his crude and vulgar behavior toward women. He thinks “locker room talk” is fine. He believes that if he is rich or famous, he can kiss anyone he wants and is fine with sexual assault.
Even if he claims that he supports Trump despite these actions, his support says these behaviors toward women are not bad enough. [Read: Can you date your opposite?]
9. He is controlling
A misogynist won’t care what you want. In the same way, he won’t take you seriously. He will control you. If you’re going to go out with the girls, he will insist you spend time with him. He may even insist you stay home alone if he wants to go out because he wants to have power over you.
A misogynist will take any opportunity he can to demonstrate his power and influence over you. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]
10. He is competitive
When a man disrespects women, he cannot deal with being lesser than them in any way. Whether you beat him at pool, at a video game, or have a better driving record, he won’t be able to deal with it.
He will constantly make excuses that he was tired, something went wrong, or that you cheated. He cannot accept that a woman could possibly be better than him at anything.
11. He treats women like they are there for him
Men who are misogynists act as if women are possessions that they own. It can be sweet to hear a guy you like call you “my girl.” But when he actually treats you like his property rather than his equal.
He cannot comprehend that women have their own wants and needs that go beyond him. To him, you’re nothing more than a pretty little thing to hang off his arm. [Read: 13 traits of toxic people that can hurt and emotionally damage you]
12. He pleases himself
If you have ever slept with a misogynist, you know he is a selfish lover. He is only concerned with his own pleasure and not at all yours. Be careful because he may even try to exhibit his physical strength over you. He will also most likely pass over foreplay altogether.
A misogynist uses a woman’s body for his own pleasure and has zero concern for hers. [Read: Can you get a selfish lover to be more giving?]
13. He is a cheater
Some men who cheat may not be misogynists, but most are. If a man disrespects a woman so much that he would be unfaithful, he lacks any appreciation for their mutual commitment.
Some cheaters are feminists or at least claim to be for the most part, but by fooling a woman and feeling he does not owe her loyalty, he has some misogynist qualities for sure. [Read: 17 clear signs that he is cheating – Ignore them at your own peril]
14. He is rude to service workers and the elderly
Misogynists feel they have a higher status than others. They look at themselves as better than women. And it is not just women, but also elderly women, service workers, etc.
Whether someone is in a lower economic class, has a less glamorous job, or is less attractive, he will treat them as unworthy of respect. If a woman cannot provide him with sex, he feels he has no use for her and will treat her. [Read: 15 signs he just wants sex and is only using you for his enjoyment]
15. He talks about women as if they are objects
Not only does he accept this behavior from other men, but he will take part in it himself. He will describe women as objects, exploit women, use them for his benefit, and treat them as if they are not human beings with feelings. And if he does, he wants to hurt their feelings.
A misogynist may, in some cases, even brag to his friends about having overpowered a woman, assaulted a woman, or worse.
16. He is overly protective
This is where many women confuse love for misogyny. A man who wants to have power over you may seem jealous and protective, but in reality, he wants to dominate you.
He may appear jealous of a male friend or even a male coworker. But rather than being angry with him, he will show off his rage for you. He wants you to fear him and obey him. Do not think this is sweet or caring behavior. It is not about protecting you but his own ego and his power over you. [Read: 18 signs that reveal a dominating and overprotective boyfriend]
17. He hates your independence
He wants you to depend on him for everything. That way, you can never leave. He may insist you quit your job because he can pay for you, but then he will control every aspect of your life and use it against you. He won’t want you to travel without him, leave the house, or spend time with anyone else.
Anything that you do alone or without him is unacceptable. If a man doesn’t celebrate your success and independence, he is likely a misogynist. [Read: How to be independent even if you’re in a relationship]
18. He is homophobic
Many misogynists are disgusted by the idea of two men sharing a life together. Seeing this or even hearing about it may make them angry or violent. It is likely due to his own insecurities, but there is no excuse.
There is no opinion in this situation. You can disagree that pineapple belongs on pizza, but homosexuality is not something you can argue about. It is a way of life and a way to love. And if a man you know is disgusted by that or violent towards it, he does not deserve to have you in his life.
19. He emotionally abuses you
A misogynist knows how to make you feel utter crap about yourself. If you threaten to leave him, he will tell you you cannot do any better, and you will always be alone. He will blame you for any problem you have as a couple and is a master manipulator.
If you are with a guy that makes you feel bad about yourself, get out of that relationship immediately. It is unhealthy for your mental and emotional health. [Read: The signs that help you spot an emotional abuser]
20. Some misogynists are violent
If a man is violent towards you, whether physically or sexually, call the police or talk to a trusted friend or family member. Create a plan to get away from him. If you feel your life is in danger, reach out to an abuse hotline immediately.
Any man that would physically hurt you is more than a misogynist but also a criminal. No matter what he says, if he apologizes, tells you it’s your fault or threatens you, do whatever you can to escape because this is a dangerous situation no one deserves to be in.
21. He’s a master of mansplaining
We mentioned mansplaining earlier but let’s explain it a bit more because it’s a key feature of misogyny. When a guy mansplains something to a woman, he speaks to her as though she is a child or she has no brain of her own. He may use simple language, speak loudly as if she cannot hear, and basically talk down to her. [Read: Mansplaining – 25 ways to spot a dick when you’re talking to one]
Mansplaining is often done in front of other people to add further impact. The misogynist is trying to show those around him that this “little woman” doesn’t understand and needs to have everything explained to her in child-like terms. The best advice? Call him out on his mansplaining in front of everyone and show them that you’re no “little woman”.
22. They are stuck in the past
Misogynists have that extremely outdated view that women belong in the kitchen. They believe that women are put on the planet to serve men and make sure that there is a meal on the table when they get home, and that a man should never have to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. If he could tie you to the kitchen sink, he probably would.
Misogynistic views are so stuck in the past it’s unreal and unfortunately, many men still have this very same, extremely outdated view.
Are narcissistic and misogyny the same thing?
If you know anything about narcissism, you’ll probably be reading this and wondering whether misogynists are indeed narcissistic. They certainly exhibit some of the same behaviors and they’re extremely manipulative when they want something. However, for a person to be labeled a true narcissist, they have to be diagnosed with (or basically have with a diagnosis) NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The troubling thing is that there are many people wandering around with NPD and they don’t feel like anything is wrong with them. [Read: What types of narcissism should you be on the lookout for?]
It’s important to remember that narcissists can be men or women, so not all narcissists are misogynistic. But, there are definite overlaps and if you’re in a relationship with a guy who is very misogynistic, you might want to start reading up on the signs of narcissism too. The chances of him showing more than a few are probably pretty high.
The bottom line is this – if you’re around a guy like this, just get the hell out of the way. You won’t be able to reason with him and you certainly won’t be able to change him. Sure, you can try knocking him down a peg or two, but for your own peace and sanity, get the hell out of there.
[Read: Why you should run if you see these relationship red flags]
Spotting the signs of a misogynist is not always easy. Try to look out for these behaviors in men you meet or date. Misogynists are not just jerks, and they can be detrimental to your life as a whole.
