Is He the One? How to Know if He’s the One Who’s Perfect for You

You’ve been dating a great guy for a while now and you’re wondering ‘is he the one?’ There are some important signs to look for, before you decide he is! 

Is He the One how to Know if He's the One

In life, we come across a lot of interesting and fun people, many with dating potential. But if you’re wondering, is he the one for you, you need to remember that not all men make great life mates. You might have met someone and be wondering ‘is he the one?’

How can you really tell without wasting away a few years of your life before realizing the fact that he’s not respectful or even into you?

New relationships are like a perfect pair of shoes. They may look fancy when you see them, but you’re never going to know how good they’ll be until you take a walk in them. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a really great boyfriend]

Is he the one for you?

When it comes to love, it’s best to trust your own instincts. You may come across a really nice man, but the chemistry may be lacking, or something may just feel wrong .

But what happens when you find a guy who fits like the missing piece of a puzzle, and you believe he’s a perfect fit for you? Does that mean you’ve met the one for you, the one who’ll keep you happy for the rest of forever?

Unfortunately, we’ve all met these men with whom we share crackling chemistry and sizzling moments in the sheets. But it doesn’t always work out and materialize into a happy ending.

At times like these, you need to think beyond chemistry and sizzle. You need to know if he’s the one for you in the long run. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

How soon can you tell if he’s the one?

There is no set amount of time that tells you whether a person is the right one for you or not. But, the key word in that sentence is ‘time.’ You cannot simply meet someone and decide that you’ve found your Prince Charming.

You need to spend time getting to know him and see him in good and bad situations. That can’t happen in a matter of weeks or even months. You’ll probably need at least a year, if not more, to realize for sure that he’s the right one for you.

That’s probably not what you want to hear if you’re trying to speed up the process and get past the possible time-wasting stage. But, if something is meant to last, it doesn’t matter if you spend a little time waiting for it, right? [Read: Relationship stages – 10 phases couples go through by months and years]

Is he the one? The signs to focus on

Falling in love is always a wonderful experience. But too many times, you fall in love with a guy and start to dislike a few traits about him. And then you roll your eyes, overlook it as a habit and move on.

Those annoying habits can be overlooked for now, but many months later, the same habits surface and shatter your relationship. When you date a man who’s not the one for you, you may even end up ruining your own life by staying in a relationship for way too long, and compromising on everything you expected from a relationship.

The next time you date someone and you wonder, is he the one for you, keep an eye on these signs that are beyond just physical attraction, fireworks and sparks, and a good time in bed.

Sometimes, it’s the very subtle things guys do that count, and this behavior predicts whether the two of you will be a perfect match for each other. Many also tell you whether he’s in it for the long-haul and perhaps marriage material. [Read: What you need to look for in a guy before even considering dating him]

1. He communicates his feelings

Does he tell you how he feels, and does he ask about your feelings? Is he empathetic and understanding? A guy who’s closed up and brooding may seem mysterious and fun, but you can’t have a relationship a guy who can’t express his feelings.

Communicating with each other over the smallest of emotions can help you understand each other better and avoid misunderstandings that lead to painful confrontations in the years to come.

Some men are so closed up about their feelings that it would only frustrate you every time you try to understand what he’s thinking. [Read: 15 things immature men do and why you should definitely avoid them]

2. He pays attention to your needs

In many relationships, the men actually know what their partner really wants. But they do nothing about it. Many men just take their girlfriends for granted, and pretend like they didn’t understand them.

It’s not like a guy can’t understand what his girlfriend wants. In most cases, they try not to care because it’s easier to feign a lack of empathy. Is he the one for you? No.

Avoid these men who act like muscleheads and pretend like you’re the one who’s confusing and don’t express your feelings. [Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]

3. He sees the real you

You’ll know he is the one if he sees you for who you really are. All women know men are visual creatures who are drawn to appearances first and everything else later. But that’s no excuse to be treated like an arm candy. Does he tell you that you look hot? Of course, he does.

But does he appreciate your other qualities? Does he see the real person beyond your boobs and butt? A man who looks at you as a dumb, good looking woman will never ever see the real you or understand your capabilities. [Read: 15 signs of disrespect that reveal a real lack on love]

4. He respects you

When you’re in love, respect takes a whole new definition. When you’re in love, respect is all about making a partner feel good about themselves. A man who is in love, respects the woman he loves.

If he’s the one, he will treat you with respect and take care of your needs. When you go out, he’s chivalrous and courteous to you. [Read: How to be a high value woman he’ll never want to leave]

5. He respects your space

Men absolutely love their own guy time and space. But hey, so do women! You need your space too, and it’s not just about hanging out with your friends. This is especially true when both of you move in together.

Being jealous is cute at first. But if he wants to be around you all the time, and stops you from having your own life, you need to tell him how you really feel. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t ever see]

6. He shares responsibility

Does he offer to help you out? Does he go out of his way to help you when you ask him? If he’s the one for you, your problems are his, and his problems are yours too. That’s one of the things that make a relationship work, when you accept to share responsibility. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a relationship]

7. He likes your package

Yeah, you’ve got great boobs, we know. But that’s not what we’re talking here. When you get into a relationship, both of you bring your own burdens and packages. In this case, the package is your family, your friends, and everything else that defines you.

Does he try to get along with your family? Does he make your friends feel comfortable when he meets them? [Read: New boyfriend guide – The dos and don’ts every girl must know]

8. He’s not overly unpredictable

Does he come home late one night, or cancels a date out of the blue for no apparent reason? Does he start sulking or whining now and then and doesn’t say why?

Bad boys and unpredictable men may seem sexually exciting and fascinating. A woman may look at these men as a pet project to tame a wild stallion. But it doesn’t really work that way if you want him to be the one for you. [Read: What to look for in a guy? 20 things that matter beyond looks]

9. He sees your future

Spending a lot of time together can stifle relationships and prevent either of you from growing as individuals. But that’s where that one special guy makes the difference. Does he help you nurture your own dreams? Does he encourage you to try new things?

How to know if he is the one? A man who doesn’t pay attention to his woman’s dreams and aspirations is a selfish pig who doesn’t care what you do in life as long as he’s happy. [Read: How to know if your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

10. He’s not jealous of you

Many chauvinistic men are extremely jealous of their girlfriend’s success. At times, they’ll intentionally stay away from helping you, or start sulking or behaving badly when you get more attention.

But a man who truly loves you will beam with joy and pride each time you succeed at something, instead of getting annoyed by your dreams and achievements. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]

11. He makes you a better person

We’ve heard of women making men better men. But it has to work the other way too. Does he help you become better at what you do? And, does he give you the motivation and determination to become a better person?

All of us have our shitty days and feel like failures now and then. At times like these, we need a partner who can make us see the bright side of things, someone who knows us inside out and gives us the strength to stand again. Can he be that man for you? [Read: Why being an Instagram boyfriend makes a guy awesome, and not whipped]

12. He puts up with you

Every now and then, we can all get a little moody; it’s what makes the feminine energy so fascinating and colorful. Can he handle it without getting frustrated with you?

Most men have a lower tolerance for mood swings and unpredictable behavior from their woman. Can your man smile with you and put up with you? Can he shower you with affection when you’re feeling lonely, and put up with your tantrums when you’re irritated?

You’ll know if he is the one when he can bear with your tantrums. [Read: 13 things a boyfriend should do if he wants to prove his worth]

13. He’s financially stable

This may be terribly unromantic, but his finances are extremely important and is one of the most practical things to take note of when deciding if he’s the one you should be with for life. We’re not saying don’t marry him if he’s poor. We’re saying don’t marry him yet if his finances are an unholy mess.

This is real life that we’re talking about here. Do you really want to be financially insecure for the rest of your lives? Do you really want your husband to sit on his bum all day, while you slave away at work? [Read: 17 brilliant ways to save money as a couple]

14. He makes you smile

If he can turn that frown of yours upside down, then he’s certainly a keeper. You always want to be sure that the person you pledge your life to has a positive and happy spirit.

This is important as life is filled with ups and downs. Having someone to keep you positive during life’s hardest challenges is important. If your man knows how to make you smile and lift you up, you know that he’s the one you should be with.

15. You can’t imagine your life without him

If you can’t imagine being happy or satisfied without him next to you, it’s a clear sign that he’s the one.

However, keep in mind that those in lust will also say the same thing. So as important as this point is, don’t take it as the sole indication that you should marry him. Think of this point as one of many that you need to check off your list before deciding that he’s the one. [Read: 12 life questions to help you visualize your future]

16. You’ve talked about your future together

Another practical sign that he’s the one is if you’ve both talked about the future. If both of you want the same things and are working towards the same end goal, then it’s a good sign that you’re ready to settle down with him. [Read: 14 undeniable signs he wants to spend his life with you]

17. You have similar interests

It’s very important that you settle down with someone who shares similar interests as you. This will ensure that you don’t get into meaningless fights about what to do, where to go, and how to get it done.

Say he’s someone who enjoys curling up to a good book and watching a slasher flick at home, and you’re someone who prefers being a homebody. You can be sure that you’ll both be on the same page when it comes down to what to do for the rest of your lives.

18. He challenges you in a positive way

As important as it is to have similar interests, it’s also great if your man can challenge you to do things that you never thought you could do.

From facing your fears and bungee jumping off a bridge in New Zealand, to walking the night markets of Thailand and tasting crickets, to simply being more Zen and calm, if your man can push you to be a better person, you will know that he is the one for you. [Read: 20 fun things for couples to do]

19. You’re incredibly comfortable with him

You know he’s great husband material if you’re totally comfortable with him, and you don’t have to hide the true you. Flaws are what make a person real.

If you can bare yourself to him and still have him love you, then he’s a gem. [Read: 11 surefire ways to know you’re dating a real gentleman]

20. He’s a generally kind person

Loving you means loving the entire package, and that includes family and friends. He should not stop you from heading out on girls’ night, and he shouldn’t moan about what a pain it is to see your family.

But, it’s not just about being kind to you and your family, it’s about being generally kind. Check out how he acts around animals and nature. Is he kind to himself? [Read: 10 guys you should stop dating if you want real love]

21. He’s loyal to you

Nothing screams love more than fidelity, and if he can’t keep it in his pants, he certainly doesn’t deserve you. The same goes for emotional cheating.

You have to be sure that you are the only one who can satisfy his emotional and physical needs.

22. He’s not afraid to say sorry

If he’s able to apologize when he’s in the wrong, you’ve got yourself a keeper. Far too many men try to make up for their actions by buying flowers and being overly nice, but never actually say they’re sorry.

He’s a good guy if he has no problem admitting when he’s wrong. [Read: 28 heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry and apologize to someone you love]

23. He tells you everything

Does he share his secrets with you? He may be the one if he doesn’t keep secrets from you and instead prefers to share them.

This doesn’t mean he has to tell you absolutely everything going through his mind during the course of a day, but the important things for sure.

24. Things aren’t complicated

There is nothing romantic about feeling like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. If your relationship status on Facebook reads ‘it’s complicated,’ he’s not the one for you. It should feel easy and gentle, not like a hurricane every other day. [Read: Complicated relationship – What it is and the best ways to fix it or get out of it]

25. You don’t question his feelings

You don’t need to, because you know how he feels. He tells you regularly and you feel calm and content in the relationship.

If you’re still wondering ‘is he the one,’ this point alone should tell you.

26. He stands up for you

A guy who is totally in love with a woman will not stand for her being disrespected, called names, or even questioned. If he stands up for you, both when you’re around and when you’re not, he could be the one for you. [Read: How to stand up for yourself]

27. He doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear

Some guys think it’s the easiest option to just tell a girl what she wants to hear. Less stress and hassle. But, a real guy will tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.

It might not sound like fun, but he does this because he wants the best for you.

28. He shows you his vulnerable side

Overall, guys don’t like to be vulnerable because they associated it with weakness. Of course, we know that’s not the case, but if a guy is happy to show you his vulnerable side it’s because he trusts you and sees you as an important part of his life. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable?]

29. He is willing to talk through conflicts

He doesn’t just walk away and try to brush the problem under the carpet. Instead, he is happy to talk things through with you because he knows it will make things better in the long-run.

This is a sign of an emotionally mature man and that’s definitely someone you need in your future.

30. You both say ‘we’ and not ‘I’

You might not even know you’re doing it, but it’s deep in your subconscious. When you’re both saying ‘we’ it’s because you see yourselves as a team.

The guy you’re going to be with over the long-term needs to be not only on your side but your partner in all things. ‘We’ is important here. [Read: 6 common problems faced by couples who live together]

31. He’s not just in it for the sex

How can you tell? When you do many other things that don’t involve sex and he’s just as happy!

32. You forget the past

Everything that happened before is locked away in a very deep part of your mind. You don’t think about it often and you’ve forgotten the details. This is a key sign in telling you that he’s the one for you; you’re simply focused on the future. [Read: What men look for in a woman to be drawn to her]

If he’s the one, what do you do next?

How many of these signs can you nod along to? If you can agree with several, there is a very good chance that you’ve met a keeper and someone to spend your life with.

Now what? Focus on building a strong and honest relationship. Remember that it’s not all about him being a good partner, but you too. Communicate and do your best.

Put your relationship first and forget silly arguments. The more you make your relationship a priority, the more you give it a chance to grow.

[Read: Do we really need a life partner? 20 pros and cons to guide your life]

You’ll never know if he’s a keeper until you take the plunge and give him a chance. But all the while you’re wondering, is he the one, remember to communicate, learn and give a great relationship a chance to bloom by being a great partner yourself.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...