How to Get Him to Ask You Out: Make Him Think It’s His Idea

If there is a guy you’ve been eyeing, but want to know how to get him to ask you out, it is not as hard as you may think.

how to get him to ask you out

Making the first move seems pretty daunting, especially as a woman. That is why it is more subtle and less nerve racking to learn how to get him to ask you out instead.

But how do you find the happy medium between flirting and desperation? And how can you make it clear that you are available without being over the top? Finding a balance when it comes to getting him to ask you out is not always easy. However, it can be easier with a little guidance. [Read: The signs he uses to tell you he is interested in more than friendship]

Where do you begin?

If there is a guy that has caught your interest, make it known. There are plenty of subtle ways to get a man’s attention without straight up telling him.

From a simple smile across the room, to grazing his arm while laughing at his joke, all of this should initiate his romantic thought process. If a guy knows you are interested, he is more likely to ask you out. Just like us ladies, guys don’t want to be rejected. So giving him a few subtle signals that you would accept his invitation will go far.

How to get him to ask you out without being obvious

Struggling with subtlety is something we all deal with. From giggling uncontrollably to sweating or blushing, our nerves shine through. But coming off cool and confident is often much more attractive. Shut down the butterflies in your stomach and then head his way. [Read: How to get a guy to like you effortlessly, in no time]

Whether the guy you want to ask you out is a friend, coworker, or total stranger you first make it clear you are interested while still holding onto a bit of mystery.

If you’re wondering how to get him to ask you out, flirting is your golden ticket here. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it, you are probably better than you think you are.

#1 How to flirt. Flirting begins with simple conversation. Start a chat about your boss, share a funny story, or even show them a hilarious meme you recently came across. Humor is probably the best way to catch his eye. If he knows you can laugh together and have a good time, he will want to spend more time with you.

To ensure this laughing isn’t taken as strictly platonic, be sure to add in subtle hints of attraction. Touch his shoulder or arm during conversation, play with your hair, and be sure to smile a lot *but in a normal way, not a creepy Joker way*. [Read: Easy ways to flirt with your crush and make them fall hard]

#2 You’ve launched the attraction, now what? Sorry to say this, but a lot of guys can be dense when it comes to signs. They may get the feeling you vibe, but he probably won’t want to take the risk to ask you out unless he is sure you are available and receptive.

So to get him to ask you out, gently spill your availability into the conversation. Mention how you plan to stay home this weekend to binge watch Stranger Things, or even a bad date you recently had so he knows you’re in the dating realm. Just don’t be harsh about it. He doesn’t want to be your next bad date story.

However, bonding over hating the dating game or being single is a great way to form a connection. This may be the exact opening he needs to ask you out. [Read: Why isn’t he asking me out already? 17 subtle reasons why]

#3 He still isn’t getting the picture. Everyone always thinks women are so sensitive. But in reality men are just as terrified of rejection, if not more so, and they can be totally clueless. If after flirting, batting your eyelashes, and connecting over your mutual bad dates still hasn’t triggered his brain to ask you out, it may be time to take it to the next level.

To make it super obvious that you want him to ask you out, without coming out and saying that, mention something you want to do. Bring up a restaurant you have been dying to go to or a movie that looks amazing. Even bring up an activity you love to do like hiking. This gives him his perfect opening to take you on a date. [Read: 15 things you need to do now that you know your crush likes you]

#5 You’ve learned how to get him to ask you out and he still hasn’t. If this is the case, this guy is probably in a relationship or just completely clueless. You would hope someone wouldn’t flirt with you if they had a girlfriend, but if so it is probably time to move on. If you know for a fact he is single and seems interested, but hasn’t made a move, it is time to go all in.

Without actually asking him out yourself, you can say “we should do that” or “we should go together sometime” regarding a concert, activity, or what have you. If he doesn’t turn that idea into a solid plan, go for a guy who can more easily pick up on these far from subtle hints you’ve thrown.

#6 He is being a guy. After all of these, he still hasn’t asked you out? You may be getting frustrated and ready to give up. But if he is like a lot of guys out there he may not see this opportunity until it is threatened.

Although I’m not one for games, making him jealous or fearful of losing out on a date with you may just make him jump at it. Take a few minutes to flirt with the bartender, another guy, or even his friend. Now, don’t start making out with someone. But a simple giggle or potential date making with someone else may finally be the clue he needed to make a move. [Read: How to make a guy jealous – 30 wicked ways to win his attention]

#7 He may just not be interested. Like the movie based on the book, he’s just not that into you. Sorry to be so harsh about it, it is a possibility. And if that is the case taking every one of these steps won’t change the outcome.

You can continue to hang out with him as a friend and hope he catches feelings eventually. There is a good chance you set yourself up for failure with that plan. When a guy isn’t interested he most likely won’t offer up those feelings and let you down easy. He will continue to flirt and smile without saying a word. [Read: Is he playing hard to get? 13 signs he’s probably just not that into you]

#8 Time to move on. At this point, setting your sights on someone else is probably the way to go. And who knows, another guy may pick up on your signals much earlier. You could have a date planned for this weekend already. Sometimes the best way to get him to ask you out is to pick a guy a bit more in tune with the subtle art of flirting.

[Read: How to be attractive to men – All the things you should never do]

If you were curious about how to get him to ask you out, I hope this helped. Subtlety is key when you don’t want to make the first move. 

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...