Your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models, and you don’t understand it. Is this normal, and what should you do about it? Here are the answers.
Imagine, sitting on the sofa on Sunday morning, waking up with a cup of coffee in hand. Suddenly, you notice that your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models in abundance. How would you feel about it?
You’d half choke on your coffee if you’re being honest.
For some, it would be a harmless pastime, nothing serious. For others, it would be jealousy, or feel like a total breach of trust.
[Read: 17 things a guy should NEVER do on Instagram when he has a girlfriend]
What makes a guy get obsessed with Instagram thirst traps?
As a girl, you might not understand why so many guys get caught up in following Instagram models. You might even wonder why you’re “not enough” for him.
But think about this – it’s not really about you. It’s about him. And here are some reasons guys do it.
1. They like sex
It’s no surprise that guys are horny and like sex. Just look at the porn industry. If there wasn’t a huge market for porn, then it wouldn’t exist, right?
So, while following models on Instagram isn’t exactly as bad porn or subscribing to someone’s OnlyFan, it seems more acceptable to guys.
It’s a way to admire other women’s bodies without cheating or watching more explicit things like porn. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]
2. They are visual creatures
Men are very visual creatures. While you might like to have sex with the lights off, he probably wants them on. That’s because he wants to see your body and it turns him on.
So, whether he’s admiring your body or a model’s body, he likes to look at women’s bodies. It’s a pretty simple and basic human instinct for men.
3. They’re immature
While they do like sex ad they are visual, some guys just can’t control themselves or their actions very well.
A mature man would know that following models on Instagram would bother their girlfriends – and that it’s somewhat disrespectful. But an immature guy won’t even think about it. They tend to be more selfish and only think about their needs – not yours.
Is it normal for you to be jealous of Instagram models?
You might be wondering if it’s normal for guys to follow Instagram models. Well, it’s pretty obvious that social media has changed the way people date.
While social media has made it easier to stay in touch with your significant other or a love interest, there is also a disadvantage to it too. It’s easier for anyone to follow or stay in touch with anyone else in the whole cyber-world. [Read: Why am I so jealous? The real reasons why we feel it and how to fix it]
And this can lead to problems in relationships. If your boyfriend is following and liking pictures of other women and models on Instagram, you might have a problem with it.
Well, this is modern dating, unfortunately.
The way you interpret your boyfriend’s activity on Instagram depends on who the woman is and how your relationship is with him. In other words, it could be a bad thing – or maybe not.
But if your relationship is not in the honeymoon stage anymore, then he might not feel like he has to win you over and impress you anymore. You are committed, so he feels like he doesn’t have to be on his best behavior anymore *sadly*. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and learn to overcome it]
However, if you are still getting enough attention from him in your relationship, then it probably shouldn’t bother you too much that he’s following models on Instagram. That’s because he’s most likely still very interested in you.
On the other hand, if you feel neglected in your relationship, then you have every right to feel disrespected and jealous when your boyfriend follows Instagram models.
[Read: Social media and relationships – The good, the bad, and the ugly]
The love/hate relationship with social media
Social media is a true double-edged sword, don’t you think? On the one hand, it’s a useful tool for staying in touch with those far away and watching videos of cute cats. On the other, it’s a hotbed of paranoia, confusion, and in some cases, underhandedness.
Far too many relationships have been ruined by Facebook or Instagram over the last few years. However, you could argue that if that’s the case, there was something a little shaky about their relationships in the first place.
Honestly, a lot of people both like social media and loathe it.
[Read: How social media is killing your relationship slowly]
What do others think about following sexy models on social media?
What would the majority of people do if they found out their boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models? So, we did a straw poll of our nearest and dearest to find out what they would do or think about the issue.
The answers were half surprising and half not.
The majority of people agreed. If your boyfriend feels the need to fill his news feed up with half-naked, pouting models, he’s either got way too much time on his hands, or he’s being pretty disrespectful to you. If you have many mutual friends on your social media feeds, especially if you share family on there, it won’t look great.
How would he feel if you filled your feed up with sexy models you liked to ogle over? He probably wouldn’t like it and would have something to say!
The other people we asked simply laughed and shrugged. They assumed it was nothing more serious than drooling over Brad Pitt in Fight Club or watching Magic Mike.
You can see both sides if you’re honest.
[Read: These are the signs of a lack of respect of relationship you can’t ignore]
Your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models but doesn’t like it when you do the same
There is a saying, “what’s good for the gander, is good for the goose.” That basically means that whatever you do, you should have no problem with me doing.
There’s some solid thinking behind that. We put this question to a few men. We asked them how they would feel if their partner was filling up their Instagram feed with sexy male models. The answer was quite comical. “No way. Not happening!” almost all the time.
Well, that totally puts the goose and gander on completely opposite feet!
The bottom line is this, if you’re fine that your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models, then that’s great. You probably trust him completely. Let’s be honest, the chances of him actually meeting one of these models to test out your faith in him are extremely slim.
What you should ask yourself is whether he’s just frivolously looking at these models and has no real fixation on them, or whether he’s being disrespectful with it.
[Read: 15 millennial problems that reveal not all in Instagram perfect in our lives]
Let us explain.
For most girls, if their boyfriend was filing up his Instagram with sexy bikini models, then they would probably start to wonder whether he found those models more attractive than them.
Perhaps it’s silly. But, it’s girl logic and many of you would do the same.
You might even compare yourself to them and come up short. These models have the art of filtering and great lighting behind them. Normal people do not have those tools. Plus, most girls do not have a model body.
So, finding out that your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models might be harmless in terms of the security of your relationship. But what you should question is if it actually impacts your self-esteem as a result.
Also, does it make your relationship look negative in the eyes of close friends and family members? [Read: The dangers of social media and why it makes us all feel so insecure]
Should you talk to him about it? If it’s bothering you, go for it.
In fact, you should definitely have a chat about it. Say something along the lines of ‘if it’s okay for you to follow sexy models on Instagram, I’ll do the same with some sexy hunks of my own, okay?’ And then, look at his face. We guarantee it would drop, cloud over, and probably end in an argument.
The reason?
What’s good for the goose, in this case, is not good for the gander. [Read: The most important things in a relationship that help hold it together]
It depends on the couple. The fact your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models might not bother you, it might bother you a little, or you might be totally consumed with jealousy.
We asked a guy about this, and he told us that if his girlfriend had a problem with it, he would wonder why she felt so insecure.
That’s male logic for you, especially when he told us that he wouldn’t like it if she did it the same thing.
We’re going around in circles here, aren’t we?
[Read: My boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram – Here’s what you need to do]
So, what should you do?
There is no definitive answer to what you should do, think, or feel if your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models. You can only decide what your view is. But here are a few things you can do.
1. Talk to him about it
Let’s be honest – some guys are clueless about how their actions affect other people. That’s not a statement to defend his actions, but it’s just the truth.
So, you should talk to him about it. He might not be aware that this bothers you at all. You can’t expect him to change if you don’t first have a conversation with him about it.
2. Express your feelings
During your conversation with him, don’t forget to convey how his actions make you feel. If you feel insecure, then tell him. Or maybe you feel disrespected.
Whatever your emotions may be, it’s time to tell him how you feel. [Read: How to express your feelings – 16 must-know ideas to speak your mind]
3. Work on your self-esteem
One of the reasons that it bothers you that your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models is that you don’t think you measure up.
No one can compete with airbrushed and filtered models! You are a real person.
And let’s face it – he probably couldn’t get any of those models if he wanted to. So, work on feeling better about yourself, and then it won’t bother you as much.
4. Don’t care what other people think about it
You shouldn’t be too concerned about how it makes your relationship look to other people, but he should also understand that you do care about how it appears to your close friends and family members, who may be talking about the situation behind closed doors.
5. Follow guy models on Instagram yourself
However, equality is great. If your guy is doing it, then it’s fine for you to do it too. The question here is whether you would want to. Surely following a plethora of sexy models really doesn’t fill the day other than a quick five-second look at lunchtime?
Maybe we’re missing something, but a lot of girls prefer their guys to be real and not at all airbrushed and Photoshopped to within an inch of their lives. [Read: Instagrandstanding – What it is and how people use this to flirt online]
6. Make peace with it
If after you talk to your boyfriend about it he still won’t stop following sexy Instagram models, then you have a choice to make. And if it bothers you that much, maybe you should consider ending the relationship.
If you don’t want to do that, then you might just have to find a way to make peace with it and move on with your life.
Should you let these Instagram girls mess with your real life?
Models on social media platforms are just figures of your imagination. If you met them in real life, they wouldn’t be half as impressive as their pictures lead you to believe they are. Perhaps your boyfriend knows this. Or maybe he hasn’t even thought about it.
Understanding the blur between real life and social media is key if you want to keep your relationship in a healthy state, and not teetering somewhere towards disaster.
Let’s be honest, there are more important things to argue about than airbrushed models on Insta, right?
[Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]
If your boyfriend follows sexy Instagram models, now you have some things to think about. You can let it bother you, or you can see it as something harmless and unthreatening.