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How to Make a Guy Feel Needed and Wanted: 17 Secrets to Happy Love

If you’re an independent woman, your man may feel neglected. So, it’s important to know how to make a guy feel needed and wanted, so you can be happier.

how to make a guy feel needed and wanted

You may be fiercely independent and in control of your life, but you might need to know how to make a guy feel needed and wanted.

But does your way of life ever make your boyfriend feel unnecessary or unwanted?

Every guy wants to date a girl who’s in control of her life. And no guy likes a girl who’s too clingy or needy all the time!

But sometimes, your independent streak could make your guy feel undesired, or even make him feel like he’s unwanted baggage in your life.

And if that ever happens, that’s a sure sign that things may not remain so smooth in your relationship.

[Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and ways to avoid being one]

How to make your guy feel needed and wanted

A guy needs to feel desired in a relationship.

When he feels like he’s wanted and needed, he feels good about himself and the relationship.

He assumes he plays an important part in your life, and that makes him try harder to be a nicer boyfriend because he believes his behavior towards you has an impact on your life.

Dramatically put, your guy wants to believe that your life would be ruined if he didn’t exist in it.

Now, of course, that’s being overly dramatic, but hopefully, you get the point!

[Read: 16 do’s and don’ts to make your boyfriend want you more than ever!]

Why men love feeling needed

A man wants to feel like a man. And he feels like a man when he’s needed and desired by a special someone, you. It’s in his evolutionary genes, he loves the role of being a protector. And he feels good about himself when he sees himself as the provider of your happiness and security.

But if you ever make him feel like an unnecessary appendage in your life, chances are, he’ll subconsciously start searching for someone who needs him and wants him badly in their life! [Read: 40 secret tips to make your boyfriend feel happy and lucky to date you]

How men and women are different

It’s easy for women to think that men should automatically think, feel, and act the way they do – or the way they want them to. But there are some very significant differences in men and women and how they perceive the world, and that includes relationships.

According to Dr. John Gray, the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, men and women are so different that they might as well be from other planets! But, the good news is, once we understand the differences, then we will be much happier in our relationships. [Read: How to make a guy like you – 17 ways to capture his heart]

Dr. Gray says that, according to his research, men feel motivated and empowered in a relationship when they feel needed. This is in contrast to women, who feel that way when they are cherished. This is important to keep in mind when you are trying to figure out how to make a guy feel needed and wanted.

You might think that talking to your man will make him feel needed. But that’s how women think. Women bond through talking. Men bond through “doing.” Men like to solve problems, but not necessarily through talk. If he feels needed by you, then he will feel closer to you.

[Read: 25 ways to make your man feel appreciated and cared for]

5 Love Languages

If you want to know how to make a guy feel needed and wanted, you also need to understand his love language. A man’s love language and feeling needed go hand-in-hand. Because feeling needed makes a guy feel loved. [Read: How to recognize the signs that he doesn’t miss you or even care anymore]

According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, people give and receive love in five different ways:

1. Acts of Service

Acts of service involves doing something nice for your partner. It could be washing your car, rubbing your feet, or cooking dinner for you. So, if you want to know how to make a guy feel needed, maybe he needs to do something for you in order for him to feel loved.

2. Words of Affirmation

Some people like to hear “I love you” or “you’re so hot” … or any other positive words about them. When a guy feels needed, he also might want to hear nice words from you like, “That helped me out so much! What would I do without you?” [Read: Why is he ignoring me? 22 answers to make up your mind]

3. Giving Gifts

Giving and receiving gifts is another love language. If your guy likes to give gifts, it will make him feel needed – especially if he knows you like them. Or maybe he feels loved and needed when you give HIM gifts.

4. Touch

Most guys like sex – let’s face it. But touch includes more than just sex. It can mean holding hands, cuddling, or any other form of touch. Maybe he feels needed if you have a problem and then ask him to hold you in his arms.

5. Time

Spending time with your partner is another love language. If you are independent, maybe he thinks you don’t need him. So, if you spend quality time with him doing things you both enjoy, then he might feel needed. [Read: The body language of men: 35 tips to read his mind]

As you can see, if you want to know how to make a guy feel needed and wanted, one of the things you need to do is figure out his love language. After you do, you can adjust your behavior so you can please him even more than you already do.

17 sweet things you can do to make a guy feel needed and wanted

It’s not hard to make a man feel needed and wanted. And almost always, it’s the little things that have the biggest impact.

Just keep these things you can do for him in mind, and as long as you use these tips to display your need for him, you’d leave him beaming with pride and happiness, all because you made him feel more like a real man!

1. Don’t reject him

Never reject his effort to make you happy.

If your boyfriend sneaks up on you from behind to hug you, or if he messes the kitchen up just a little while preparing breakfast for you, don’t rebuke him for that. He’ll feel stupid for trying to do something nice for you, and he’ll hate you for it. [Read: 10 things girls should never says to guys ever!]

2. Let him know you respect him

To your guy, your respect and what you think of him plays a big part in how he feels about himself. If you think he’s worthless, or not capable of doing something, it’ll hit him harder than his biggest critics. [Read: Do you emasculate your man? 14 things women do that break a man emotionally]

3. Appreciate him

If you want to make a guys feel needed, then you need to appreciate the little things he does, even if he doesn’t expect acknowledgement for it.

If he fills a glass of water for you, or does your laundry, don’t just take it for granted even if it’s just a regular chore. Thank him for it. You’ll notice him smiling to himself when he thinks you’ve walked away!

4. Show him that you love him

Tell your boyfriend or husband that you love him often. Even if saying those words seem overrated, it always feels good to hear it.

And don’t just stop with words, show your love for him through your gestures too. [Read: 25 really romantic ideas to make your man melt!]

5. Ask a guy for help

Allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him. As strong and capable as you are, let your guard down in front of him and let him see your vulnerable and soft side.

Talk to him about things that trouble you, and make him realize just how much you need his support too.

6. Get possessive

You may trust your boyfriend completely. But every now and then, show off your possessiveness, especially when he’s going to meet a pretty girl at work or an old friend.

Displaying your possessiveness may make him smile or laugh, but deep inside, it’ll make him see that you’re still scared of losing him, which shows just how much you want him in your life. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested and smitten]

7. Make up without keeping count

Take the initiative to apologize first to your man now and then if you want to make your guy feel needed and wanted. In love, it doesn’t matter who started a fight or who ends it, just as long as both of you feel closer after the fight.

Of course, you shouldn’t be a doormat who accepts faults each time both of you fight. But now and then, let him see that you love him enough to swallow your pride and make up with him even if it’s his fault.

8. Let him see that you miss him

You do miss your guy when he isn’t around, don’t you? Tell him just how much you miss him and how eagerly you’re waiting to see him again. You can even text him something cute to make him smile. [Read: 36 sweet and cute things to text a guy and make him smile]

9. He’s a good boyfriend

If you really like your man and see him as a great partner, tell him about it. Guys feel great when they’re complimented about how good a boyfriend they are.

He’ll only try harder to be an even nicer guy and win more praise!

10. Thank him

Thank your boyfriend and give him an appreciative kiss when he does something for you, even if it’s as simple as getting you your cell phone.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to overlook the little gestures and take them for granted. Always be appreciative of all the things he does for you. [Read: 33 qualities about a guy that make him a really great boyfriend]

11. Consult him

Always consult him and take important decisions together. You may have made up your mind already, but take the time to discuss it with your man and ask him for his point of view. And if it does differ from yours, try to understand why he doesn’t concur with you, and explain your reasons to him.

By doing that, he’d realize that his opinions matter to you and you take them pretty seriously, and it will make your guy feel needed.

12. Don’t boss over him

Don’t get bossy or behave like he’s the one who needs you and you don’t need him back.

You may assume that displaying your independence to him would show that you can live your life without him. But it may backfire against you and drive him further away! [Read: Why men feel emasculated? The 3 big reasons life breaks him]

13. Show your affection

Reach for his hands while walking down a street. Wink at him as he talks to one of his friends. Cuddle him up or run your fingers through his hair when he acts cute.

He may pretend to hate it, but deep inside, he actually loves it!

14. Share your secrets

When a girl trusts a guy enough to share her innermost feelings, it subconsciously reveals to him just how important he is to her and how special he is in her life. Talk about your secrets with your boyfriend, and he’ll come closer to you! [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships and exes]

15. Ask him for advice

If you want to make your guy feel needed and wanted, just ask him for advice. It’s as simple as that!

Asking him for advice shows your man that you respect him and value him enough to do something based on his judgment and opinion. And he can’t get a bigger boost than that. He’ll swell up with happiness, and he’ll feel really good about himself within minutes!

16. Don’t talk down to him

It’s important to watch your language around him. It’s so easy to say negative things when you’re having an emotional moment. Without realizing it, you could say things to him – or about him – that you will regret later.

As your mom always says, “Once you say it, you can’t take it back.” So say kind and loving words to him on a regular basis *including compliments*. [Read: When does a man start to miss you? The art of making him crave you]

17. Ask him about his love language

As discussed above, everyone has their own love language. So, ask him what his is. He probably has never heard of a “love language,” so you might have to explain it to him.

Once you do, ask him how he would like you to act to make him feel needed and loved.

[Read: 29 relationship tips and advice all women need to know to have a great love life]

Using these tips on how to make a guy feel needed and wanted will definitely help him feel more loved and secure in the relationship. And he’ll surely fall more in love with you too!

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Colin Andrews
Colin Andrews
A writer working on his first book, Colin Andrews lives in Sherborne, England and spends a good part of his day cycling around town looking for new adventures a...
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