Home  >  Reads for Women  >  How To...

9 Sure Ways to Tell if You’re Really Bi-Curious

Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex? It’s completely natural, and acceptable, to be bi-curious. Use these 9 signs to find out more!

bi-curious signs

Okay girls, let’s admit it, many of us have thought about what it would be like to at least kiss another girl, and some of us probably have at some point, but does that mean you are bi-curious? Not necessarily.

Nearly all of us can appreciate a girl with a nice body or fantastic boobs, but do your thoughts wander a bit further than how nice she looks?

What is bi-curiosity?

Bi-curiosity is described as a phenomenon in which a person who identifies as heterosexual would consider taking part in sexual activity with a member of the same sex. It is not the same as being bisexual.

A person of a bi-curious nature will have very limited or no experience of sexual activity with a member of the same sex. On the other hand, a person who identifies as bisexual will have had relationships with members of the same sex and are aware that they find both men and women equally attractive.

9 ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious

Let’s take a look at these signs that might suggest you are bi-curious and not just simply appreciating that God has been kind in the looks department to a fellow female.

#1 I kissed a girl and I liked it. In the words of that wise singer, Katy Perry, kissing a girl and enjoying it could be a sign that you are bi-curious, especially if you didn’t want the kiss to stop and the kissing turned you on.

Kissing a woman can be an erotic experience as women’s lips are a lot softer than a man’s, so it’s not surprising you might have enjoyed the experience. But if the kiss stayed in your mind and you often think back to it, that could be an indicator that you would consider taking the kiss to a fumble and a fumble to the panties… and so forth.

#2 You wonder what it would be like to date/have sex with a woman. We all wonder about other people’s relationships and question what it might be like to be with a particular person, but if you find yourself wondering what it would be like to date a woman, it might be time to listen to that inner voice.

People are often fascinated by things they are not familiar with, such as homosexual sex acts or same sex relationships, and that’s acceptable. You might be curious from a totally rational viewpoint such as questioning what it could be like having two women together who both act possessed when they are menstruating at the same time. But if you are more interested in what two women get up to between the sheets, or want to know what it’s like to go out on a date with a woman, it could mean something a little bit more.

#3 You are crushing on a woman. Many of us get crushes on members of the same sex, believe it or not, and it can’t be taken as a sure sign you are bi-curious. However, if you think about this woman a lot and you love her figure/hair/boobs/total awesomeness, it might mean something.

Do you try to spend as much time as you can with her *providing she isn’t a famous star, of course!* and enjoy her company? Of course, most of us like spending time with people we like but if you also have thoughts about her in a sexual nature or you do try to get sneaky peeks of her semi-naked body, then there is a good chance this means you could be bi-curious.

#4 You enjoy woman-on-woman porn or erotica. If you and your partner enjoy watching porn together, or you if like watching it alone, you might get more enjoyment watching women making out than you do seeing a man and a woman having sex.

To be honest, this could simply be because most porn is targeted for the man’s enjoyment and not all women like seeing another woman being treated like a sex object. But, when you watch two women having sex, if your mind starts to wander and you imagine yourself in that scenario, it may be your subconscious trying to tell you something.

#5 You fantasise about having sex with a woman. Again, fantasies are completely normal either when you are having sex with your partner or masturbating. Many women admit to fantasizing about sex with another woman and many men get aroused by the thought of two women together, and this may help fuel your fantasy.

However, if your fantasies only involve other women and the desire to sleep with a female, it could be another sign that you are open to experimentation with a member of the same sex. This is especially true if you are having this fantasy when you are alone and not just while having sex with your partner.

#6 You like seeing other woman naked. Come on, admit it, we all like to suss out the competition and look at other women’s bodies, either in communal changing rooms or at pictures in magazines. Women can’t help themselves from being critical or slightly envious. It’s in our genetic make-up!

But if you find your eyes lingering on her boobs and your thoughts wander to what it might be like to run your tongue over her nipples, then this could be a sure-fire sign you might be bi-curious.

#7 You find yourself drawn to websites about sexual orientation. Sometimes, our sub-conscious tells us more than our daily thoughts, so if you have been looking at websites about sexuality, or in particular, bi-curiosity, it might be time to listen to that inner voice. Very often, people find a need to label themselves in order to understand their thoughts and feelings in more detail, and researching what you are thinking about deep down could be a big clue that you are curious about having sex with a woman.

#8 You know what you find attractive in a woman. If you ask yourself what you find attractive in a man, there is a good chance you can reel off a list of physical and emotional qualities. Good body, tall, funny, attractive, caring, etc. If you find you could answer the same when looking for qualities in a women, then that may suggest you are curious about dating one.

But this may be a bit different to answering what men find attractive in a woman, we all have preconceived perceptions about that. If you know personally what you find attractive in a woman, then your curiosity about dating one may have peaked.

#9 You become intrigued when you meet an attractive woman. Meeting new people can often bring on intrigue, that doesn’t mean a great deal on its own. However, if you start to question what she likes to do and where she hangs out, you might have feelings that are a little stronger than simple curiosity about her life.

If you discover that whenever you meet an attractive woman, you question what she looks like in her underwear, whether she has thought about kissing another woman, or more importantly, kissing you, then it might be time to acknowledge your bi-curiosity.

So are you a bi-curious woman?

If you can identify with a few or all of the points above, there is a good chance you may be bi-curious. But a women’s sexuality is very fluid. It changes and evolves all the time. Even if you realise you are bi-curious, it doesn’t mean to say you have to act on it, unless you want to.

Some women simply acknowledge they are attracted to the same sex and just leave it as a fun fantasy. Others decide to act on their curiosity and explore their sexuality a bit more. Society no longer demands we all have to label ourselves. We are free to be who we want to be. Being bi-curious doesn’t mean anything other than you have thoughts about having a physical experience with a member of the same sex. It won’t change who you are as a person and it won’t mean you will necessarily become bisexual.

Whatever you decide to do when you realise you are bi-curious is a decision only you can make. Embrace your womanhood and enjoy being the person you are, without feeling the need to label yourself to the rest of the world.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Gemma Middleton
I'm 43 years old, have two children, two divorces under my belt and have lived in 6 different countries over the past 20 years. I am a film producer, film maker...
Follow Gemma on