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23 Signs He Thinks You’re Out of His League & Ways to Warm Him Up

You like a guy, but he’s not asking you out. Here are the signs that he thinks you’re out of his league and what you can do so he asks you on a date.

signs he thinks you're out of his league

There are many reasons why we tend to think we aren’t good enough, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. If you’re currently into a guy, but pretty sure he thinks you’re out of his league, we’re going to talk about the signs to look for to confirm it. Then, you can use some ways to let him think *and know* otherwise!

Signs he thinks you are out of his league

You might think it’s silly that he thinks you’re out of his league, but he probably doesn’t. So, just to be sure that he really does think that, look for these signs.

1. You make more money than he does

Maybe you are really successful in your career. You have achieved a fancy title, traveled around the world, and you currently manage a lot of people. Meanwhile, his job is a little less glamorous.

He is more of an “average Joe” when it comes to his career. That might make him intimidated by you. He probably thinks you want a man who makes a lot more money than he does. [Read: What to do if your partner makes less money than you]

2. You are more educated

Maybe you have a college degree from a competitive school, or even a master’s degree or Ph.D. Believe it or not, that can scare some guys. They think you are super intelligent, and he wonders if he would bore you.

Can he keep up his end of the conversation with you? He is probably wondering about that if you are more educated than him. 

3. A lot of guys chase you

He has noticed that guys seem to fall at your feet. You are always “fighting off” guys who try to DM you on social media or come up to you in bars all the time. He’s even convinced your guy friends want you too. So, if he thinks he has a lot of competition, then he probably thinks you are out of his league.

4. He seems shy

It’s difficult for shy guys to ask girls out. They want to, but a lot of them lack the self-confidence to do so. If he seems like a quiet, shy guy, then he probably thinks most girls are out of his league – especially you. [Read: Is he shy or not interested? 26 signs to decode a guy’s behavior]

5. Your personality

If you have a very outgoing, funny, extroverted, and confident personality, then that could be scary to him too.

Not that you scare him, but he might think that his personality can’t match up to yours. If everyone loves you, then he knows you can have any man you want.

6. Your looks

Well, there is an obvious sign that he thinks you’re out of his league. If you’re hot, then he probably thinks you’re out of his league.

You would think most guys would chase after the hot girls, but they don’t know if they can catch one. So, sometimes it’s just easier for them to not even try.

7. You are older than him

We’ve all heard of the cougar – the hot older women who like younger men. So, if you’re older than him, he probably has a huge crush on you. But since you are more experienced in life than he is, that can make him feel like an inadequate kid. [Read: When does age difference in a relationship matter?]

8. You are younger than him

On the flip side, if the guy you like is significantly older than you, he might consider himself an “old man.” And in his mind, he probably can’t get a young, hot chick anymore. Regardless of whether you think he can, he might think that your youth makes you better than his maturity.

9. You have a better car or house

If both have been to each other’s houses and yours is clearly bigger, nicer, and more expensive, then that might make him feel embarrassed.

Maybe his house is a lot smaller and modest. And then if your car is better than his, then that is really a problem for guys. Especially those who pride themselves on their cars.

10. You like expensive things

He notices that when you go out to restaurants, you always order expensive bottles of wine. And you even like the expensive restaurants.

You also might have high-end purses, clothes, and manicures. He might not think that he would be able to afford you if the two of you were dating. [Read: What to do if your partner makes more money than you]

11. All of your ex-boyfriends are gorgeous

Maybe he has crept on your social media and has noticed that at least one – if not all – of your ex-boyfriends are incredibly handsome. That can be really intimidating. And if they all have a lot of money too, he might not think he can measure up to your expectations.

12. You’re too independent

You might be an independent career woman who has a full life of her own. He might look at your life and think, “where could I fit it? She doesn’t need me!” Guys like to be needed.

So if he thinks you’re an independent woman who can take care of yourself, then that is another sign that he thinks you’re out of his league. [Read: 16 alpha female traits that scream “I am woman hear me roar”]

11 ways to show him you’re not out of his league

The movie, She’s Out of My League, from the late 2010s, is a prime example of a guy liking a girl, but believing she’s way out of his league. Just like this movie, so many of us go through life crushing on a guy or girl but never letting them know. We fear they are too good for us, and we aren’t worthy.

The belief that someone is “too good” for you is something you should never, ever believe. Period.

It’s time to take a chance on all the missed opportunities you created out of fear. Start with the 8 ways identified below to let the guy you like know you are on the same playing field.

1. Be upfront and tell him

One easy way to combat any negative thoughts a guy might have about you being too good for him is to be upfront. If you know he likes you but hides behind his fear of being denied, tell him you like him too and that there is nothing to be afraid of.

If he didn’t believe you before, he will now. There’s no “reading between the lines” when someone says the special words, “I like you.” [Read: 15 sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over]

2. Show him you’re more than your looks

If one of the signs that you’re out of his league is your looks, then he really doesn’t have a good reason to avoid asking you out. Doesn’t he know that when we get older, looks fade, anyway?

However, many guys assume a girl is out of their league based on how they look. Take it upon yourself to let him know you’re so much more than your outward physical appearance. Let him know what your interests are *i.e. reading, astrology, environmental issues, etc.* and that your insides are even more attractive than your outside.

3. Expose your flaws

We all love someone we relate to. If you think about your favorite book, song, or movie, it’s more than likely your favorite because you relate to it in one way or another. The same goes for people. We surround ourselves with those we relate to and understand.

So, if you want to relate to your crush, let him know you’re not perfect by exposing your flaws. Sure, they may not be the sexiest, but that’s the point. You’re human. We all are. Embrace your snort-laugh or occasional acne flare-ups. [Read: How to show a guy you like him, and still be a tease]

4. Initiate the conversation and ask him to hang out

Another great way to let the shy guy know you’re not out of his league is by initiating the conversation to hang out. You may not be the “man,” but it’s the twenty-first century. There are no right *and not too many wrong* ways to go about asking someone out. [Read: Do guys like it when women make the first move?]

5. Initiate the conversation and ask him to be your boyfriend

Just like number four, this one essentially follows after you two hang out a while and want to be exclusive.

You have seen the signs that he thinks you’re out of his league, and so he hasn’t asked you to be in a relationship. But you’re certain that is the direction it’s heading in. It’s only dragging because of his insecurity, then initiate the conversation. Let him know you like him—so much so that you want to take it to the next level and be his girlfriend.

6. Find out his interests and hobbies and take up one of them

Assuming your crush doesn’t just sit around doing absolutely nothing all day *because if he does, he sucks*, he probably has several hobbies and things that interest him.

For example, if he is big into photography, pottery, or cross-fit, one way you let him know just how much you like him is by taking up one of these hobbies. Not only will it allow you two to do something fun together, but it also lets him know you like him so much that you are willing to try something new. [Read: Signs he really likes you but is too chicken to admit it]

7. Flirt and be touchy-feely with him

There are many situations when guys have no clue whether a girl is flirting or simply being nice. However, if they haven’t been living under a rock their entire life, they probably understand when girls do like guys, they will touch their arms or shoulders when talking to them.

It’s that little something extra girls tend to do when flirting with a guy to make them aware they are flirting. The next time you’re around the guy you like, instead of just laughing and smiling at him, gradually touch his shoulder or rub his right arm for a few seconds to let him know you’re interested. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexual flirting tips for girls]

8. Compliment him and make him feel confident

If he has on a shirt you like, tell him you like it. Or maybe if he got a haircut, let him know how good it looks. If his breath smells good, let him know that, too.

Be sure to compliment him regularly. You’ll be causing his confidence to spike, and ultimately encouraging him to believe he’s very much in the same league as you. Because that’s the truth! He is … he just needs to believe it. Then the signs that he thinks you’re out of his league will just vanish.

9. Ask him if he likes anyone

You might want to make this subtle or obvious, whichever one you prefer. But you can just casually ask if he likes anyone or ask him what he’s looking for in a girlfriend. Get him talking and see if he tells you that he likes you or anyone else. [Read: Does he like me? 41 subtle signs and body language that guys can’t hide]

Ask specific questions about what he’s looking for, and then let him know when that sounds like you. But you want to make sure that you’re not just acting like a friend. Make it a little obvious that you think he’s a great catch.

10. Tell him that you want a boyfriend

Similar to asking him if he likes anyone, you can tell him you’re open to having a boyfriend. Just mention casually that you’re looking to date someone and miss having a boyfriend in your life.

However, you don’t want to make it sound like you’re desperate. Just show him that you’re serious about finding the right guy and that you’ve put a lot of thought into it. You can be more obvious with this one too and talk about the qualities you want, and list some of the things that make him special. [Read: How to get a guy to ask you out in 15 sneaky ways]

11. Try to get him to ask you out

You can try to get him to ask you out by casually talking about your upcoming plans. Just talk about what your schedule looks like and that you’re going to be free on a lot of days. Then, maybe he’ll ask if you want to do something with him.

You can say things like, “I’m not sure what I’m doing on Saturday, but I don’t want to sit home being bored. What are you doing this weekend?” or, “there is a great band coming to town, and I can’t find anyone to go with me. I really don’t want to miss that concert!” Hopefully, he will pick up on the hints and ask you out.

[Read: Should you tell him you like him? Signs it’s time to do that]

Now that you know the signs that he thinks you’re out of his league and what to do about it, what are you waiting for? He will appreciate you giving him a nudge, and you both could live happily ever after.

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