Getting over a guy who you have feelings for isn’t easy, even if they hurt you. Knowing how to forget a guy can help you move on and find someone better.
We all have that one – or far more than one – guy who is seemingly just stuck in our mind. Even if the relationship is impossible, you can’t stop thinking and dreaming about him. This is even more likely if you’ve just been through a nasty breakup. Now you want to know how to forget the jerk who broke your heart.
It seems the more we try to forget them, the stronger those thoughts of him haunt us. Not only is this really annoying, it makes the process of moving on take a hell of a lot longer. And you want to move on– you deserve someone who likes you as much as you like them.
Is forgetting a guy really the best idea?
If you have unrequited feelings for someone, it’s best to just forget them and move on. A lot of people thing that forgetting someone isn’t healthy because it’s just shoving those thoughts down time and time again until they can’t stay below the surface any longer. But that’s just not true.
Just because you’re forgetting about a guy doesn’t mean you’re harboring resentment or harmful feelings. It just means you’re choosing to let that part of your memory go, and that is perfectly normal and healthy. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]
What isn’t healthy is pining for someone who isn’t interested in you–wasting valuable time and brain space that you could be using to find someone as crazy about you as you are about them.
How to forget a guy you split up with
It actually doesn’t matter if you split up yesterday or three years ago. If you’re looking to get rid of his haunting face, we’ve got just what you need.
But forgetting and getting over are different things. Be patient with yourself and remember that these things take time. But if you put in the work, you’ll forget him before you know it.
1. Resolve some feelings
You still have very strong feelings for him. That much is clear. If you really want to figure out how to forget a guy, you need to resolve those feelings. Dig deep inside yourself and figure out how you truly feel. Ask yourself the tough question: what part of this breakup is really hurting you?
Is it the rejection? Wounded pride? Or are you angry that you felt misled by this guy? Perhaps you are simply grieving a future that could have been, and feel cheated of that potential relationship.
Whatever it is, you must identify it. But that is not all– you must also let it go. Acknowledge those feelings and try to release the anger, hurt and disappointment. It is easier said than done, but its the only way to really forget that guy who hurt you. [Read: 15 Signs an ex is confused about their wants and feelings & what to do]
2. Avoid the pity party
To forget a guy you need to acknowledge your emotions, but not wallow in them. You are entitled to your feelings but you cannot let them consume you to the point of it being all you think about.
When you find yourself feelings like the world is against you, try to keep things in perspective. Rejection and heartbreak are a part of dating, a part of life– these lows are what make the highs so amazing.
Don’t forget that this too shall pass, and try to avoid feeling sorry for yourself too much– it is counterproductive to happiness.
3. Remember the good times
Once you have some distance on heartbreak, occasionally reflecting on the good times you had can help you get over an ex and forget about him.
It sounds counterintuitive, but by acknowledging that not everything about this guy was bad, you can lessen his importance in your life. Remembering the good times reminds you that he wasn’t an actual demon– just a guy who let you down that you want to forget about. If you just paint him in a negative light, you’ll end up forming resentment toward him that’ll stick in your mind forever.
If you allow that to happen, you’ll start to complain about him ruining your life instead of just whining about how you can’t forget about him. That story gets old quickly, and no one wants to be a bitter ex. So remember the good things he did for you, and then forget about him. [Read: Why your ex still pops up in your mind from time to time]
4. Think about the toxicity he brought to your life.
Now it’s okay for you to think back to all the bad stuff. The more he was bad to you, the easier it’ll be to accept that you don’t need him in your life. You may even end up losing those strong feelings when that happens.
Romanticizing the past is normal human behavior, but it doesn’t help you forget a guy that broke your heart. Acknowledge everything about the relationship– the good and the bad. Likely you will find that the bad greatly outweighed the good.
5. Get rid of the stuff that ties him to you
Many people keep mementos and tokens of past relationships. But if these things are preventing you from forgetting about your ex, it’s time to let them go. Any t-shirts, sweaters, hats, or items he left or gave to you should be thrown out or given away.
You can’t forget someone when there are always constant reminders of him. Sure, it can seem tragically romantic to cry into an old teddy bear he gave you. But life is not a movie, and keeping around reminders of someone who doesn’t love you is torturing yourself for no reason. Let the stuff go and forget him. [Read: How to deal with rejection from friends and pick yourself back up]
6. Delete the pictures
Got a million pictures on your phone, saved on your computer or hidden under your bed? Time to let them go.
You cannot forget about the guy who broke your heart if his picture is hanging on the wall. Delete all the pictures of him and the two of you from your phone and throw away all the ones you had printed. There should be no room in your life for those reminders.
If you really cannot stand the thought of throwing photos away, put them in an album or a computer file that you do not see everyday. Just get his face out of your mind so you can start to forget him [Read: Should you keep or throw away old love letters and pictures?]
7. Delete his contact info
That’s right. Any way you could ever get in contact with him. You have to get rid of it. Not only will his name on your phone remind you of him, it’ll tempt you. And if you have access to reach out to him, you won’t be able to forget him.
Don’t torture yourself by sending a text or call he won’t answer. Just delete his contact and try your best to put him out of your mind
For whatever reason, this is the hardest step for many. No matter how much a guy rejected and hurt you, you will find yourself strangely resistant to unfollowing his social media. But keeping tabs on him will only serve to remind you of him and upset you.
If you are really serious about forgetting a guy, you have to remove him from the social media feeds that you look at every day. It may seem hard, but you will be glad you did it when you can easily move on. [Read:Social media addiction: the 16 alarming symptoms & how to break out]
9. Stay busy
Distraction really is the best method for learning how to forget a guy. The busier you are, the less time you have to think about him. If you focus on your work or school or friends and dive right into your hobbies again, you’ll forget him in no time. If your hobbies are social, you might even meet someone new!
10. Ask friends not to talk about him
This is difficult if you have mutual friends with the guy you are trying to forget, but politely ask them to stop bringing him up to you. Tell them that you are trying to get over him, and that you just want to forget about him.
If they are good friends, they will understand your request.
11. Let go of any regrets
Do you find yourself lying awake at night, thinking that if you had only done this or said that, you would be with that guy you want to forget about?
Those regrets make us hold onto moments and people, torturing outselves with “what-if”. When you find yourself in this dark place, do your best to forgive yourself for whatever it is you felt you did wrong. You were simply not meant to be with that guy, and nothing you could have done would have changed that.
No matter what happened that made you want to forget him, you have to let it go. You have to shut down any regrets, accept your current situation, and move on. [Read: 5 major life lessons you can learn from regrets]
12. Don’t hold onto any negative feelings toward him
Once again, this is super dangerous. Negativity is very strong – stronger than positivity in most cases. The more hate and anger you hold onto about him, the harder it’ll be to forget him.
If you find yourself ranting to your friends about him, stop. Ask yourself, did he really ruin your life? Or did you make him into the enemy in your mind so you don’t have to feel hurt? Either way, you won’t be able to forget him until you let all the feelings go– positive and negative.
13. Be grateful for what you have
Gratitude is the key to happiness. When you are really hurting and want to forget a guy, take time to look around you and be grateful for what you have. Note three things that you are grateful for, and try to remember that it’s not as bad as it seems.
When we’re upset and missing someone, it’s easy to think that’s all you have in life – this emptiness. But that’s not true. The more you pay attention to the world around you, the more you’ll see he was such a small part of your life. Let him go..
14. Remember why things didn’t work out
Think back to why you want to forget him in the first place. What happened to get you to this point?
You don’t have to ruminate on the nasty breakup– just remember there was a reason that it happened. Avoid romanticizing the past and accept that the relationship ended for a reason. [Read: 14 common reasons why relationships fail so often]
15. Avoid him
This should be obvious, but if you are trying to get over a guy don’t hang out with him. This includes hanging out in places you know he will be. Be honest with yourself– do you want to go to that bar in hopes of “accidentally” bumping into him? Just happen to go to parties you know he will attend?
You can’t get over a guy you see all the time. So let him go, and start healing.
16. Remember that his door may have closed, but there are endless ones open
This isn’t the end of the world. You have so much more to look forward to and putting him in your past will help you get there. Don’t think of him as a roadblock. Think of him as a side street you wandered down before getting back to the main road.
17. Start dating again
The best way to get over a guy is to start dating again. You don’t have to jump in right away– dating is hard, and should only be attempted when you are in a good place emotionally. But when you are ready, go on a few casual dates. You will find that you’ve forgotten about that guy in no time.
[Read: 11 firm steps you need to take in order to forget someone]
If you want to figure out how to forget a guy, you have to look inside yourself, come to peace with your own feelings, and then push the negative thoughts of him aside. Only then can you really forget him.
