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30 Fun, Flirty Ways to Encourage a Guy to Make a Move & Ask You Out

You like this guy and desperately want to go out with him. But it hasn’t happened yet, so you need to learn how to encourage him to make the first move.

how to encourage him to make the first move

So why hasn’t he made the first move? Well, maybe he isn’t interested. There is always a chance of that. But if you know he is interested, there are plenty of ways you can subtly or more obviously learn how to encourage him to make the first move.

Why hasn’t he made the first move?

Before you go freaking out about him possibly not liking you, take a breath. There are plenty of reasons he has yet to make the first move. [Read: Does his body language tell me he likes me?]

1. He moves slow

Some guys just like to take their time and feel things out. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want to make the first move, he just is testing the waters.

It could be for a variety of reasons, but some guys just don’t like to dive head-first into a romance right away.

2. He is afraid of rejection

Who isn’t afraid of rejection, right? No one likes it. So, he’s probably no different. Maybe his self-esteem is a little low, and he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if he thinks you don’t like him back.

If he isn’t 100% certain you will accept his advance, he may not want to risk it, so that’s a big reason why you should encourage him to make the first move.

3. He isn’t sure he likes you

He likes you, but isn’t quite sure how much and doesn’t want to make a move and then regret it. Now, this isn’t a reason you want to hear, of course.

But you aren’t exactly sure if he likes you back, right? Because maybe somewhere in your gut you know that if he really did like you, he would have asked you out already. [Read: Is he shy or just not interested? 26 clues to decode a guy’s behavior]

4. He doesn’t know how to make the first move

Some guys just are not sure how to go about it. How should he ask you out? What should he tell you? Should he try to kiss you first or ask you out or hold your hand? So many questions, and no answers!

Not all guys are confident when it comes to dating. If you’re young, maybe he’s never dated anyone before, so he’s inexperienced.

5. He wants you to make the first move

And then there are the guys that want you to make the first move. Maybe he likes a woman who goes for what she wants or just doesn’t want to be the one to take the risk. That way, he doesn’t have to do any of the work either. So hopefully he’s not lazy!

6. He’s taken

Oops. He may already be in a relationship that you just don’t know about. That would be a bummer, but you should really try to figure out whether he already has a girlfriend before you try to find a way to get him to make the first move.

7. He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship

If you are friends, coworkers, or even share a friend group, he may not want to stir the pot. Think about it – romance can really ruin a friendship if it doesn’t work out. The same goes for coworkers too. [Read: The signs your guy friend is totally into you]

8. It is awkward for him

Asking someone out isn’t always as smooth and charming as it is in the movies. He may just be a little shy. That doesn’t mean that he is awkward himself, but he just doesn’t know the right way to do it yet.

9. You are off-limits

Yes, this is misogynistic, but men do still live by the “bro code.” So if you dated his friend, his friend called dibs, or anything like that, it could be the reason he isn’t making the first move. Or maybe he thinks you are out of his league and doesn’t think you want to go out with him.

10. He’s oblivious that you’re interested

And finally, he just has no clue you are even interested. Let’s face it – some guys are really oblivious to girls and relationships. So, they might have to be “hit over the head” in order to notice that you’re interested in them.

Now that you know all the reasons why he hasn’t made a move, hopefully, you could narrow it down to your situation. From there, try these methods of how to encourage him to make the first move.

How to encourage him to make the first move

Some men respond well to subtle hints and a change in body language. Others are just clueless. So, see which of these methods speaks to you and go from there.

1. Flirt

This is the obvious one, but it still had to be mentioned. Flirting is the first step in showing a guy that you’re interested. From there hopefully, he gets the hint. [Read: The best ways to flirt with a shy guy and get him to talk to you]

2. Touch him

Well, don’t mean grope him – just brush against his arm, lightly shove him when you’re joking, or even place your hand on his.

Even touches as small and simple as these can signal an attraction and chemistry. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

3. Slip it into the conversation

Next time you’re chatting, let it slip that you like when a guy makes the first move. Maybe you’re talking about feminism and say you’re independent and driven, but still, appreciate some romantic traditions like for the guy to make the first move. It may not have occurred to him.

4. Give him the look

You know what look we’re talking about. Make eye contact and hold it, then smile, look away and look back quickly. It should look natural. So, if you aren’t familiar with this, test it out in the mirror first because if done incorrectly, it can look a little stalker-ish.

You can play it up even more by making eye contact while sipping on your drink or subtly biting your lip. [Read: 13 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

5. Get close

Do you know how you have to stand close to someone in a loud and crowded bar in order to hear them? Well, do that even if it isn’t that loud. Allowing your bodies to touch, even just your arms can ignite a spark.

Want a know a sneaky trick when it comes to figuring out how to encourage him to make the first move? Whispering into his ear or just standing closer than platonic friends should give him the signal. [Read: What makes a guy want to kiss a girl? 18 secrets to intoxicate him]

6. Face him

Body language is the key to subtly making someone aware of your interest. So if you are chatting, face him with your entire body. If you are standing, point your feet toward him. Even if you are sitting beside one another, cross your legs towards him.

These are very subtle gestures but can be more subconsciously effective than you think. [Read: How to finally get your dream guy to make a move on you]

7. Fidget a little

Not nervously. Just run your hands through your hair or play with your necklace. This will draw attention to your clavicle, your neck, etc.

These little maneuvers are ingenious. You know how when a guy reaches back to stretch and his shirt lifts up just enough you can see just the bottom of his abs? This is the female version of that.

8. Bring up a movie you’ve been dying to see

A great way to encourage a guy to ask you out is by giving him an idea. Maybe he wants to ask you out but doesn’t know where to take you or what to do. Tell him about this amazing restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or how you haven’t gone bowling in ages.

This gives him a clear opening for, “Well, we should go this weekend.” [Read: All the sneakiest ways to get a guy to ask you out in no time]

9. Make it clear you’re available

Maybe he isn’t even sure you are single and ready to mingle. He may think you are hung up on an ex or aren’t looking to date.

If you’re wondering how to encourage him to make the first move, casually throw into the conversation that you haven’t been on a date in a while and miss that fluttery nervous feeling.

10. Be patient

As we said, some guys just need time. Maybe he is shy, maybe he wants to make sure he likes you. Or he just wants to take things slow to ensure you are comfortable.

Don’t rush things. But if the waiting is getting out of hand, say something or move on.

11. Make it clear you would say yes

Just like girls, men are terrified of rejection. And if the reason he hasn’t made a move is due to the fact that he thinks you’ll turn him down, make it clear you’d say yes.

How, you ask? Mention you were recently asked out but weren’t interested, but would be open to an invitation from someone else, like YOU. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious, and really sexy flirting tips all girls should know]

12. Give him a tip

Another way to encourage him to make the first move is to let him know how you would want to be asked out or kissed.

Watch an old romantic movie and at the kissing scene say, “I wish guys still kissed girls like that.” Or mention how you wish you could get a proper date invitation like in the old days. Not a “wanna hang out?”

13. Ask him when he’s planning to make the first move

Sometimes, you just need to be bold. If you know he knows you are interested but hasn’t asked you out, kissed you, or brought things up a notch, talk about it.

Kindly let him know you like him. You’d be happy if things moved a little faster.

14. Just be you

You don’t need tricks and manipulations to get a guy to make the first move. In many cases, if he likes you, he will make it known and have no problem making the first move.

So just be you and when the time comes, it will come. If not, move along. [Read: 14 steps to learn to love to be you]

15. Stop giving mixed signals

You might not know that you’re giving mixed signals, but maybe you are.

Maybe subconsciously, you don’t want him to know that you are very interested in him, so your behavior might be a little hot-and-cold without you realizing it. So, you need to act interested and don’t deter from that.

16. Don’t try to make him jealous

This might seem like a good idea because if he’s jealous, it means he likes you, right? But he might not see it that way.

If you talk about other guys or even flirt with other ones in front of him, he might think that you are interested in them and not him. So, just be yourself and don’t play little games like trying to make him jealous.

17. Don’t play hard to get if he’s shy

While this tactic can work on some guys, on others it doesn’t. Sure, it’s using reverse psychology on him and making him think that you’re not interested.

But if the guy is shy, that will really discourage him. He needs to see some signs that you like him, or else he will convince himself that you don’t. And that’s not a good way to get a guy to make the first move! [Read: Should you play hard to get with a guy?]

18. Text him some dating memes

You could go the texting route and send him some funny dating memes. By throwing out the topic of dating in a humorous way, it keeps it light and easy between the two of you.

Hopefully, he’ll pick up on the hint and start talking to you about something related to dating and romance. Then you can try to steer the texting conversation in the direction of him making the first move.

19. Reference a movie

Similar to texting him a dating meme, you can reference a movie about dating. For example, the classic movie, When Harry Met Sally, is hilarious and it’s about two friends who don’t realize that they’re in love. You could make references to some kind of movie to get him thinking about asking you out. [Read: How to get him to ask you out – Make him think it’s his idea]

20. Make the first move yourself

Sometimes, our impatience get the best of us and when that happens it is time for you to make the first move. When he hugs you goodnight and turns away say, “wait,” and plant a kiss on his lips or cheek. Or just ask him out yourself!

Yes, it can be scary, but hey, we’re in a new age. Anything he can do, you can do better.

[Read: How to ask a guy out like a real, classy woman]

With a lot of these techniques on how to encourage him to make the first move, you are actually the one making all the moves, he just doesn’t know it!

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