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How to Ask a Guy to be Your Boyfriend Without Sounding Clingy

Getting a guy to commit without sounding clingy is really hard for most girls. This is how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without causing alarm.

how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend

Ladies, we all know you want this new guy to be yours officially. However, you can’t just make him commit to you out of the blue. You need to find a way to ask him subtly. Knowing how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without sounding clingy is a skill all women should master. With it, we might just be unstoppable.

But it’s not always as easy as it sounds. Truth be told, not all guys have commitment issues. Sometimes girls just come across super needy and clingy. And that can definitely scare them away. However, if you know how to appeal to them in a way that makes them really want to be your boyfriend, you’ll have them hooked.

How you know it’s time to make it official

I’ll be real with you girls. If you think a guy wants to make things official after your first date, you’re kidding yourselves. Most guys want to take their time and make sure you’re someone he sees a future with before becoming your boyfriend.

However, there are certain clues they give you that prove they’re ready to be your boyfriend. If he starts referring to you as his girlfriend, then it’s pretty obvious he already thinks you’re official.

Other signs include things like making sure you know he’s exclusive to you, when he wants to meet your family, and even when he starts talking about his future with you in it. Those are major signs he wants to be yours. [Read: DTR made easy – How to talk openly about it]

How to ask a guy to be your boyfriend

I know a lot of girls just want to wait for the guy to ask, but why? If you know you’re into him and want to be in a committed relationship with him, then I say you go for it. Just make sure to do it in a way that doesn’t make you sound clingy or desperate AF.

For those of you who need some help in that department, fear not. We’re here to give you the best ways to ask a guy to be your boyfriend. Use these tips and go work your magic on him!

#1 Wait for the signs. I know this has been mentioned before, but it’s important. If you feel like a guy is distant and you’re unsure as to whether or not they want to be in a relationship with you, then you can’t just ask him in order to soothe your insecurities. This reeks of desperation and low self-esteem.

You have to wait for him to show the signs. These can be anything from talking about the future with you to actually calling you his girlfriend. So long as you’re confident in his answer being “yes” when you ask him, then just do it. [Read: The real signs that show he wants a relationship with you]

#2 Make sure he knows you deeply. If a guy hardly knows you but you want him to be your boyfriend, it’s just a bad idea to ask him. Why? Because it’s probably way too early to commit. You want to make sure a guy truly knows who you are as a person.

You don’t want to ask a guy to be your boyfriend when he barely knows anything about you. Firstly, if he says yes and he gets to know you more and realizes you’re not what he thought, you’ll be devastated when he ends it. And if he says no, you’ll be hurt. So just wait until you’ve shown your true colors. [Read: Is he attracted to you? 16 giveaways to watch out for]

#3 Get to know him deeply. The same goes for getting to know him. Why would you want to be in a committed relationship with someone you hardly even know?

If you’re just looking to ask him to be your boyfriend so you can have the label of a “boyfriend,” it’s a mistake. You should know all the major things about him and what he values first. [Read: 20 questions to get to know someone deeper]

#4 Do it in private. Now that you’ve established the above and you actually want to ask him, you should probably do it in private. Some may think it’s romantic to bring up this conversation in front of a lot of people, but your guy will feel pressured and that’s never a good sign.

You want to make sure he feels comfortable to speak his mind when you ask him. This takes the pressure off and also allows him to be honest about how he feels. And that will be good for you.

#5 Mention it in casual conversation. If you’re really slick about asking a guy to be your boyfriend, you’re more likely to get him to agree to it. In order to do this, it has to be casual and you can’t put a lot of pressure into the question.

If he feels like it’s a no-big-deal type of situation, he’ll be more likely to say yes. So just bring up the prospect of him being your boyfriend in casual conversation and see if he thinks it’s a good idea. This also helps you get his honest opinion. [Read: How to ask a guy out like a real classy girl]

#6 Just call him your boyfriend and see how he reacts. This is a really sneaky way to ask a guy to be your boyfriend because you’re not actually asking. Just tell him about a conversation you were having with your mom about your “boyfriend” and see if he reacts in any concerning way.

If he doesn’t show any sign of disliking that term, then go back and ask if it was okay. If he says yes, then boom! He’s your boyfriend. If he gets uncomfortable, just backtrack and assure him that it’s not a big deal. [Read: Is he boyfriend material or only worth a fling?]

#7 Just be honest and tell him how you feel. This is probably the best way to go about making a guy your boyfriend. Just open up to him. Tell him that you think he’s great and you want a relationship with him.

If you tell him that you don’t want anyone else and can’t see yourself dating someone else, he’ll feel flattered. Then just ask him if he feels the same and if he wants to be your boyfriend. Easy as that.

#8 Ask him to be your plus one to an important event – then ask him. Going to a wedding or a party together is a significant event in any new relationship. It’s like you’re announcing to everyone that you’re together.

It can be a little scary for the both of you. However, if he steps up to the plate and treats you like a girlfriend the whole time, you can just ask him if he wants to make it official. Depending on how the events go, he may love the idea. [Read: Signs your casual fling is turning into so much more]

#9 Never do it mid-sex or even right after. We all know a guy’s mind is clouded during sexual times. While you might think it’s a great opportunity to ask him to be your boyfriend, it’s not. You may very well just ruin the mood or get him to agree when he’s not thinking clearly. [Read: Post-sex pillow talk – what you should be talking about]

#10 Do it during an intimate moment. Knowing how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend also means knowing when to read the moment. Asking during the right time can mean the difference between walking away in an official relationship and walking away without an answer.

The best time to ask is during a particularly intimate and personal moment. When you both have just opened up and shared deep information, just tell him how you feel and ask if he’d like to be yours officially.

 [Read: Dating vs. Relationship – 14 ways to know your status]

Knowing how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without sounding clingy is something all women should learn to do. Since guys can be a little fickle about commitment, it’s best to keep these tips handy.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...