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How to Ask a Guy if He Likes You Like a Super Cool & Confident Girl

Finding out if someone likes you can be awkward. You don’t want to get it wrong! Learn how to ask a guy if he likes you without risking your ego.

how to ask a guy if he likes you

There is nothing more embarrassing than assuming someone likes you, making a move, only to find that you’ve judged it all wrong. The key is to learn how to ask a guy if he likes you, so you have proof to work with before you try and move things to another level. And, I’m talking about actual proof here, not just seeing what you want to see!

When you’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to mistake the slightest smile for flirtation. You want them to want you back, so you cling to every single potential sign that might show you that they do! The problem is, seeing things through distorted lenses makes it easy to get things wrong. [Read: 75 unique signs to tell if a guy likes you and read his mind]

Of course, sometimes people lead you on. They make you think that they like you, only for the truth to hit you in the face when you try and take things to another level. Avoid those people. They’re not supposed to be in your life. 

However, if you learn how to ask a guy if he likes you and you find positive signs coming your way, that means that he’s crushing right back on you!

[Read: Is he into me or is he just being nice? 20 signs to know for sure!]

How to ask a guy if he likes you – The easy steps that make all the difference

The word “ask” might be a little misleading here. Some of these steps don’t involve actual asking. However, they do involve watching, learning, and looking for solid signs that are hard to misinterpret. 

1. Watch and learn

Before you do anything, spend a little time doing some watching. That doesn’t mean stalking the poor guy. Simply assess what he’s doing when he’s with you, and be open-minded about how he acts around you. [Read: 35 signs of attraction from a guy to know if he’s falling for you]

What does his body language tell you? Is he different with you compared to other people? Also think about the amount of times he contacts you. Compare that against the other people in your life and how often they reach out for random reasons. That should tell you a lot. [Read: The subtle signs he wants to make a move on you and ask you out but is scared]

2. Let your body language speak for you

Learning how to ask a guy if he likes you isn’t just about the words you say, but about what your body is saying too.

You can ask with your body in so many subtle ways. For instance, touch his arm fleetingly and see how he responds. Does he touch you back? Does he move a little closer? When you make eye contact and hold it for a couple of seconds, what does he do? Does he look away and seem awkward, or does he hold it and smile a little? These are all ways you can learn how to ask a guy if he likes you, albeit silently. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing overeager]

3. Find out where he’s at relationship-wise

Have a general conversation about relationships and end out whether he actually wants one or not. You don’t have to be too obvious with this. But you can find out whether he’s in the same space as you and save yourself a lot of trouble if he’s not.

If he’s looking for fun, that’s all very well and good, but only if that’s what you want too. If you’re looking for more, save yourself the time and upset by moving on. Find someone who wants the same thing as you. [Read: How to ask a guy out over text – 15 moves to get the answer you want]

4. Find the right time

Don’t just come out with it whenever the mood takes you, find the right time. Create the right atmosphere. Make sure you’re alone, choose somewhere calm and serene, perhaps ask him out for a coffee or go for a walk. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, so you’re more likely to be confident in yourself. 

It’s no good trying to find out whether he’s into you or not when there is a crowd around you, or when you’re somewhere that your close friends go. You know you’re probably going to see one of them, and the moment will be lost. [Read: How to talk to your crush – The secrets to make them fall hard for you]

5. Trying hinting a little

You can learn how to ask a guy if he likes you by hinting. This means saying the odd thing and then pulling back. That way you’re finding out for yourself before you actually go for it and find out for sure.

Of course, you can find out false information by doing this. But the more information you manage to find out, the more you’re likely to feel confident that you’re on the right track.

Tell him how much you enjoy being around him and see what his reaction is. Tell him you like his style and see how he reacts to that. Stick to small hints and then pull back. Otherwise, you’re basically putting it all out there. [Read: Does he love me? 37 signs he’s past like and totally in love with you]

6. Or, just go for it

If you’re tired of looking around and reading between the lines, take a deep breath and go for it. I’d recommend doing this after you’ve followed the other steps and giving yourself a feel of what’s going on.

By doing that you’ll feel more confident and more likely to be able to get your words out without blushing and saying something completely different.

Understanding how to ask a guy if he likes you really just comes down to directness if you want to be sure. By following the other steps beforehand, you’re giving yourself information to go on and minimize the risk that you’ve got it completely wrong. [Read: How to be a high value woman he’ll never want to leave]

How to ask him if he likes you back

So, if you prefer the direct route and you’re just going to come out and say it, what exactly do you say? That’s up to you, but something like “I really like you and I enjoy spending time with you” is probably enough. But if you’re looking for more, use these 15 very sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over.

Don’t feel like you have to go into a huge speech and stroke his ego, just tell him you like him and that’s all you can do. If he likes you back, he’ll tell you. If he doesn’t like you in that way or he’s just not looking for a relationship, he’ll tell you that also.

[Read: Casual dating vs serious dating: Do you know what you want right now?]

As crushing as it can be to not get the answer you want, see the positives. At least you know now, and you’re not wasting time hanging around waiting for someone who isn’t on the same page as you. 

Of course, the hope is that he does like you back and then perhaps you can take it slowly and try going out on a real date together. Being brave and admitting how you feel about someone doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can just be a simple shrug and “I like you.” [Read: How to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]

In some ways, that’s far sweeter. You’re being open and honest, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a moment when many people would keep it all inside and refuse to admit it. You’re brave enough to say it, and even if it doesn’t work out, you have the answer you’ve been craving. 

[Read: Are you just friends or does he really like you? 16 signs to know for sure!]

Learning how to ask a guy if he likes you means doing a little detective work. Subtly, of course! And then, feeling confident enough to coming right out and asking him will give you the answer you’re obsessing over.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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