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How to Approach a Guy You’re Interested in and Remain Calm

If you’re a shy lady that just can’t get the words out when you’re interested in a guy, here’s how to approach a guy and remain as calm as a pro.

how to approach a guy

This one is for all the ladies with issues surrounding how to approach a guy. You feel confident, stride up to him like you own the place, and then suddenly feel your legs give out, your stomach drop, and you no longer have a voice to use.

If you know that feeling, just know you’re not alone! Although guys are the ones with a reputation for babbling or not being able to speak when approaching a girl, girls have this issue too. Sometime it’s even worse than the guys!

Why we shut down when approaching someone attractive

Nerves, nerves, nerves, and the fear of rejection. That’s honestly the basis to why we suddenly shut down when we see someone we’re interested in. The idea that you may just meet someone that’s perfect for you plunges your heart into overdrive and suddenly you can’t walk or talk.

The fear of rejection is often the culprit here. We get scared that we might say the wrong things. OR they might not even like us at all. That causes us to just stop right in our tracks and forget about the whole thing. But not anymore!

How to approach a guy you’re interested in like a pro

Say goodbye to your days as a nervous wreck around guys you’re interested in! I’m about to unleash the secrets of approaching a guy you like smoothly, confidently, and like a pro.

It might not click for you overnight, but with enough practice and enough time, you’ll be able to approach any guy you want and remain calm the entire time. Here are the best tips you need to follow in order to keep your cool around that special guy.

#1 Work on your confidence. Confidence is the number one issue right now if you can’t approach a guy you’re interested in without going all crazy in the head. First master being confident with yourself before you stay calm around a guy.

To do this, just pinpoint what your insecurities are and work on fixing them. If you think you’re too heavy, hit the gym and clean up your diet. If you just have a low self-esteem because of a past relationship, talk to someone about it and mend that problem. [Read: 25 things guys find sexy and attractive about a girl]

#2 Realize that he’s not the only one out there. Girl, he is not the only handsome man out there that you’ll ever run into. There are PLENTY of people in the world that are right for you and if you realize that he’s not everything, it’ll be easier to keep your cool when approaching him.

#3 Practice with your friends. If you just never know what to say to a guy or you forget what you want to say to him once you get in front of him, practice some pickup lines and conversation starters with your friends.

Chances are, your friends know of your struggles and want to help. Ask them to pretend to be a guy and then go over different openers. If you’re well-prepared to approach a guy, it’ll be much easier to remain calm.

#4 Do it with a group of girlfriends.  Guys don’t all travel to the bars by themselves and neither do you. If you’d feel better with some girls by your side, then just approach his friend group with yours. You each intermingle and get to know each other, and it’ll give you more of a reason to introduce yourself without ALL the pressure falling on you.

#5 Pretend that you’re not into him at all. If you trick your mind into not being interested in a guy at all, then do it! Your mind is a very powerful tool, but it can still be manipulated into doing whatever it is you want it to do. [Read: I want a boyfriend! 19 tweaks to bring the perfect guy to you]

For this, just keep repeating in your mind that you’re not into him, and he’s just a guy to practice talking to. Simply walk up to him, say hello, and then let him take over the conversation. As long as you think in your mind that you’re not into him, you will remain calm. The best way to do this is to pretend he’s a good guy friend of yours instead of some hottie!

#6 Don’t say much at all! You’d be surprised how little you actually have to say to a guy to get your point across. Instead of some elaborate pickup line you can easily mess up, just smile, make direct eye contact, approach him, and say “hi.”

You may even make him go speechless for a few minutes! This type of approach is such a great way to give the appearance of confidence even if you don’t feel super confident yet. Eye contact and a smile, ladies. It does wonders. [Read: 15 easy conversation starters you can use with a guy you like]

#7 Do it slyly. This is a great way to approach a guy you’re interested in without working yourself up too much. All you have to do is be slick about how you do it and make it seem like you’re not even that interested in him.
To do this, just walk up and ask him what time it is *pretend your phone died* or even ask him directions to somewhere if you’re not used to the area. This keeps your mind calm because it’s a simple question, yet he’ll take over the conversation from there. [Read: 10 teeny-tiny changes that will improve your love life]

#8 Don’t even approach him at all. You may think this defeats the whole purpose of this article, but just hear me out. Your ultimate goal is to get into contact with the hottie across the bar, right? So… why not just send him a drink?
This way, he’ll get the hint you’re interested in him, and if he thinks you’d be fun to talk to, he’ll come up to you. Sure, if he just drinks it and doesn’t approach you, you’ll need to make a move. But usually, they’ll be happy to head on over to your end of the bar and strike up a conversation with you. Pressure off.

#9 Ask some guy friends how to do it. If you have a couple of guy friends or a brother, ask them how to approach a guy with confidence! Ask them exactly how they like women to walk up to them.

Knowing what a guy likes and how to approach them in a way they find interesting gives you SO much confidence in making a move on a guy you find attractive. Once you know that what you’re doing is liked, it’ll be so much easier for you. [Read: How to let a guy know you like him without approaching him]

#10 Just remember you’re awesome and anyone would like you. The biggest reason we get so tongue-tied and nervous around guys we’re interested in is simply because we fear they won’t like us. At the heart of that, our own insecurities win, and we can’t let that happen.

Instead of thinking about rejection, just go up to him knowing you’re amazing and anyone would be lucky to get to talk to you and get to know you more. If you approach him like you’re something special, he feels that vibe and treats you as such.

[Read: Want to be irresistible to men? 14 tips to hook the guy]

Sometimes you may not want to wait until a guy notices you before getting to know him, but that also means putting yourself on the line. If you want to approach a guy you’re interested in while remaining calm and collected, this is how to do it.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...