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Dating a Philanderer? 17 Things You Need to Know to Tame Him

You did it. You fell for the good-looking, charming, witty, person with the notorious smile that could melt any heart. But uh-oh. He’s a philanderer.


You know the type: he could definitely talk a woman out of her clothes, that is, if the woman isn’t doing the undoing already. As for you, you’d like to think you now know better than to fall for the Cassanova-types again and again. Yet here you go, and you believe that this time it’s different—you can change this guy, a well-known womanizer. You actually believe that fate has brought you two together and that you can actually tame a philanderer.
Well, before you fall into his trap thinking that he’s the one who’s falling into yours—think again. Don’t go into the fore of the battle just yet, as winning over such a dreamy Don Juan is quite a feat.
For all you know, many a woman has already tried, yet they have all failed. What makes you think you can tame such a wild horse this time?
Characteristics of a philanderer
So, he managed to make you fall for him with just a question or a compliment. He shared a few bits about himself, and you know about his womanizing ways. And yet you’re hell-bent on making him fall for you—and you only. So before anything else, know these things:
#1 He has a lot of female friends. He is so popular among the women that he has a handful more women friends in his circle than men. These girls may have had a history of throwing themselves to the playboy at some point, or may have even devised their own plans to tame the philanderer.
These “friends” are bound to pop up every now and then, so be prepared with a poker face and an iron fist. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]
#2 He’s good at hiding. Hiding, deception, and lying is part of who he is. After all, if women knew all about him at the get-go, they may not so willingly go out with him in the first place.
Therefore, you’ll be sure to find a few clues about his womanizing ways—as long as you know where to look. And you are definitely bound to find something about him and his past that will leave you surprised, embarrassed, hurt, or even betrayed.
#3 He will most likely stray. No matter how much he promises it, no matter how much you want to believe it, and no matter how much he tries to prove it, he will stray sooner or later. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get into your pants]
#4 He despises routine. From taking up a new activity such as mountain climbing to getting a membership to a Muai Thai gym, these are the things that keep him occupied so he’s not stuck in the usual grind of going to work and coming home at the end of the day. He likes variety, and he’s up for anything that catches his fancy in his spare time, even if it means a spare girl in addition to the one he’s dating.
#5 He easily gets bored. He has to keep himself entertained, and so he views every new woman he sees as some conquest that excites and challenges him. Even in his life, he likes to pursue new interests, but gets tired of it over time.
#6 He will manipulate. He won’t be much of a philanderer if he can’t sweet-talk a girl into submission. That’s their power of manipulation at work. [Read: 12 subtle signs you’re being totally manipulated by your lover]
#7 He easily gets jealous. He knows himself too much, and he knows how women are around men like him. So as soon as he spots a guy that so much as looks at you, he’s onto him with a little bit of jealousy and some insecurity.
How to make a philanderer fall for you—and only you
While this bad boy can be quite a challenge, and an irresistible one at that, you have to learn how to play the game to win. Beat him at his own game, so to speak. That is the only way you can finally tame a philanderer and turn the tables to your favor, so it will be him who will be chasing after you.
So if you still think you can change the ways of a philanderer, then you can move on to these tips below. [Read: Once a cheater, always a cheater – The truth of their past]
#1 Don’t let him catch your attention. Philanderers are used to women falling for their charms, laughing at their jokes, with faces lighting up each time they walk into a room. Show that you’re different right off the bat. By not being like every other girl, that’s how you’ll catch his attention.
#2 Don’t try too hard. Just be you—the best, most exciting version of you. After all, when you think hard about it, you have nothing to lose. And for that matter, everything to gain.
#3 Get to know him. Know what excites him beyond the games he plays on women. Know what piques his interest, as there are probably things that interest him other than women. Once you know this, use it to intrigue his brain and leave an impression on him. [Read: Ingenious ways to play a player who’s playing you]
#4 Flirt… just a little. Learn the art of subtlety. Show him that you have enough interest in him to keep him reined in, but show that you’re not someone he can easily wrap around his finger and toy with. As soon as he gets closer to you, push him a little, and then hook him in again.
#5 Don’t fall for the lines. One of the primary *and the most important* rules when it comes to dealing with a philanderer is this: don’t be gullible. Just because he’s got his eyes on you looking so dreamy and adorable, doesn’t mean you’re the one for him. Whatever he says, don’t believe it too easily. That’s the cardinal rule.
#6 Keep him excited. If you’re already dating for quite a while, you know that he will eventually be bored *even if he says otherwise*. Bored with you and all the things that you do.
If you want to tame him, think of ways to be different: role-play in bed, travel often, learn new things together, change things up in your routine. Better yet, throw routine out the window and opt for spontaneity. [Read: Is he a gentleman or a player? 13 clear giveaways]
#7 Keep him on his toes. Hand-in-hand with keeping him excited, don’t let him be complacent in the relationship as well. Don’t let him take you for granted—but don’t be possessive or constantly nagging as well.
Always look good. Wait – not just good, but ravishing, like some other guy may just take you away from him if he so much as looks the other way. [Read: 25 awesome ways to keep any guy hooked and happy in love]
#8 Let him know that you know. Let him know that you’re no fool. You can see through him and his tricks, and you really don’t care. Most women would be raving mad at their philanderer boyfriends *or husbands*, but if you catch him eyeing another pair of boobs, make sure he sees you be all nonchalant about it.
#9 Learn the art of being authoritative. Say what you mean and do what you say. Stand your ground and be assertive. While you’ll sit through him flirting with the waitress, let him know that you will not tolerate his cheating ways. [Read: Tired of chasing? How to make any guy want you instead]
#10 Cultivate patience. Make patience a virtue before you let him get your virtue. Or anything, for that matter. Don’t be so eager to please him, as he’s bound to take you for granted. Let him show his cards first before you show yours, and always guard your heart.
By employing these tactics, you have a greater chance of beating him at his own game. This means you are more cunning and calculating than him. You need to keep yourself a step ahead of him, and therefore, you will not be surprised if he pulls off his philandering tricks on you. [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing else]
However, is this what you really want out of your relationship? Think about whether you really want to be in a relationship where you want to change a person. After all, it’s going to be a tall order. In the end, you can only change yourself.
[Read: The 10 best kept secrets to making a man commit to you]
So if you still want to be in a relationship with a man who is a known philanderer, and you hope to tame him, you have to be prepared for the consequences.

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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