It sounds like a quandary that shouldn’t cause concern but you’ll want to make the right decision. Here’s how to choose between two guys and get it right.
Did you ever think you’d find yourself in the midst of a love triangle? Except with this triangle, both people are pining over you, and you over them. Although this may sound like a dream situation that leaves you feeling incredible about yourself, it’s not an easy situation to get out of. After all, how do you choose between two guys when you like them both?
Sure, you can enjoy your time with both guys—going on dates, cuddling during movies, and even having some fun between the sheets.
But eventually, they will want to set the relationship and get a label on it. AKA, you’ll have to pick which one you want to be exclusively committed to. [Read: Why you should be dating more than one guy at once]
Is it possible to be attracted to two people at once?
If anyone tells you that you can’t be romantically in love with two people at the same time, they aren’t telling you the truth.
There are times in life when you fall for two people at once. That isn’t to say that you love them the same, but you do love them equally just in different ways. So, if you ask how to choose between two guys, you are not alone in your predicament.
Scientists to psychologists and everyone in between have attempted to figure out why and how people fall in love to no avail.
We fall in love with people for different reasons. Whether you believe there is just one person for you or that you have many loves throughout your life, there is nothing worse than finding yourself in love with two people at once and having to choose one between them. [Read: Different types of attraction – Which is most vital for true love?]
How do you choose between two awesome guys?
How do you choose when you obviously like both guys equally? On one hand, you do realize that you have to pick one of them and settle into a relationship. But on the other hand, you’re so happy with both of them that you don’t want to lose either!
Finding one person you want to date and be with is rare, let alone two! Even though you may feel lucky in this situation, you are now responsible for one of these guys’ happiness… and the other’s heartache.
Here are a few ways to make choosing between two guys a little easier. [Read: In love with two people? How to make up your mind]
1. Learn as much as you can about them
How can you properly decide between two guys to date if you don’t actually know them very well?
In order to truly decide which man is best for you, you’ll want to find out everything you can about them: their hobbies, likes/dislikes, and even all their favorites. This is the simplest way to learn how to choose between two guys. [Check out: 18 ways to get to know a guy you want to date over the long term]
2. Talk about their hopes for the future
What is it that these guys want out of life? Where do they see their lives going?
In order to choose who is best for you, you’ll have to figure out which person has a future that best fits yours. How can you be with one guy if he plans on traveling the world and you’re deathly afraid of planes?
3. Determine if they have any deal breakers
Everyone has a relationship deal breaker. You know yours, and you’ll want to make sure they don’t have any.
Not only should you make sure they’re free of all of your deal breakers—you should also find out theirs, and make sure you’re not guilty of any of them. [Read: 25 most common dating deal breakers for women all good guys must avoid]
4. Beware of any red flags
Sometimes, it’s hard to see something they do as a red flag, but you really have to pay attention.
Do they poke fun at you, but it actually makes you feel bad about yourself? Do they shy away from you every time they check their phone? These could be serious relationship red flags. [Read: 22 early warnings signs of a guy who will be a bad boyfriend]
5. Spend at least two consecutive days with them
Spend at least a whole weekend with each guy. This is crucial in determining if you’ll be able to be with them in long-term situations.
You could have the best chemistry with someone for a few hours, but what happens when you’re with them all day, for a few days? Do you get annoyed, or are you even happier to spend that time with them? This will help you decide who you could see yourself being with, in the long run.
6. Think about your feelings
We truly believe it’s nearly impossible to like two people equally. Not truly equally, at least. Maybe you have strong feelings for both, but one person has you feeling more powerfully in love, while you lust for the other person.
Sit and think deeply about who you feel more connected to. That will help you choose between the two guys.
7. Don’t compare their physical appearances
Some people will say that you should be with the person you find the most physically attractive. And even though physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship, it’s also the part that fizzles out the fastest.
So, make sure you’re not taking that into consideration when choosing who you want to be with forever. [Try: 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know you make each other horny]
8. Visualize each outcome
How do you feel picturing your life without either guy? Which one seems like it would be easier to get over? If it’s easier for you to imagine your everyday life without one, then you should really pick the other guy.
9. Which name are you more excited to see pop up on your phone?
When you’re into someone, their name popping up on your phone gets you all kinds of excited.
Which person’s name makes your stomach go into knots when you see it? Who are you hoping has texted you when you hear that familiar ringtone?
10. Who do you have the best conversation with?
At the end of the day, you’re going to want someone who makes conversation easy.
You’re going to want to be with the person who is going to stimulate you more mentally than physically—but hopefully both. [Read: 16 signs of an emotional connection and the secrets to make it way stronger]
11. Who can you sit in comfortable silence with?
While having a great conversation can be a big deal, finding someone that you don’t have to say anything around is equally as important.
If you’re dating someone, you can’t spend every second talking. This means you’ll be left with a lot of silence. You need to be with someone you have fun with, even if you’re sitting in complete silence. That’s one of the factors to bear in mind when learning how to choose between two guys.
12. Who makes you feel sexier
Hopefully, both guys make you feel like the hottest person in the world, but one guy is sure to make you feel the best you ever have.
You want to be with the man who has the ability to make you feel like a million bucks… even when you think you feel like a tarnished old penny.
13. Which guy can you truly be yourself around?
You should never have to fake anything with the person you’re meant to be with. If you find that you’re more comfortable being yourself around one guy, you should choose him. [Check it out: 16 easy ways to respect yourself in a relationship]
14. Don’t ask for anyone’s help
You may want to call a meeting with your gal pals in order to discuss who is better for you, but the problem is that your friends don’t know how you feel deep inside.
They only see what the men are doing, not how they make you feel. Keep this decision to yourself.
15. Which one makes you feel safer?
In the long run, you want a man who can make you feel safe and comfortable. If one of them makes you feel a hell of a lot safer than the other, that’s the one for you.
16. Who is the best at cheering you up?
You’re going to have a lot of moments in your life where you feel down and out. You need a guy who can effectively cheer you up. Whichever guy is better at this, that’s the one you should be choosing. [Read: 45 signs a man really, really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]
17. Make a comparative list
Going through all of this in your head isn’t as effective as making a list. Lists are much more visual, and you can see the pros/cons better between each person.
Make that list and figure out who’s your better match, helping you to figure out how to choose between two guys.
18. Take their past into consideration
Now, we wouldn’t normally tell you to judge someone based on their past relationships, but if you’re trying to decide between two awesome guys, you should.
Who has a dicey past relationship? Odds are, their new relationship will follow similar patterns as their last. So make sure you’re informed about their past flings. [Read: Emotional baggage – How to help someone put it down and find freedom]
19. Which one is trying harder?
One of them has to be making a bigger effort than the other. So figure out which guy is trying harder to win your heart. Chances are, he’ll be the one to try the longest, as well.
20. Focus on the person you feel more natural with
At the end of the day, a relationship should be easy. It shouldn’t take much effort for you to be happy and comfortable with the person you’re meant to be with. So decide which man feels more natural to be with. Decide which man you just feel right with.
21. Take lust out of the equation
What is love and life without sexual attraction and lust? If you truly love two people, then you have an attraction to them both. The difference between lasting love and lust, which is a phase, is one makes your heart go pitter-patter and the other makes you feel comfortable, safe, and warm.
It is hard to turn off the part of ourselves that WANTS someone and choose the stable, steady best friend that you trust. But, lust eventually runs its course. Trust us, it does.
And, when that goes, and you are older and perhaps less attractive, which of the two is going to be most attractive inside and out? [Read: Lust vs Love – 21 signs to know exactly what you feel for each other]
22. Which guys feels more like your “friend”?
When you talk about love, friendship might not take center place on your list of musts, but it should. If you want the type of staying power that it requires to be a couple past the fairytale phase, choose the one that you feel most comfortable with.
Sure, it feels less romantic and exciting, but the one you want to call when you are in trouble is the one that you want to have by your side forever. [Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if yours is real]
23. Which one is most like you?
Yes, there is no doubt that opposites attract. But, what you see decades later is that those opposites that were so attracted to each other, butt heads more than they get along.
If you want to know how to choose between two guys, it involves finding the one most like you. That means he wants what you want, thinks like you think, and has the same goals and aspirations in life that you do.
It might be attractive to be with the one that feels the opposite of your personality and lights the raging fire in your heart. Eventually, those differences cause conflict and don’t make for a harmonious relationship. [Read: Do opposites attract or do they push each other away?]
24. Which one has the better family?
We hate to say it, but when you date or marry a guy, you date or marry their family. If you feel more at home being with one guy’s family than the other, just consider spending a lifetime feeling uncomfortable, criticized, or just not welcomed at your spouse’s home for eternity.
The dating period is not just when the two of you are on your best behavior, their family is too. If you don’t feel at home and in the mix with his family now, you aren’t ever going to.
Choose the guy who comes with the least amount of baggage and the one that you see yourself spending holidays and family time with. [Read: How to not screw up when you meet his parents for the first time]
25. Choose the more positive one
When shit goes bad in life, and if it hasn’t yet, trust us, it will, choose the guy that you communicate with more and the one the most positive. Life is not a bed of roses. If you choose the wrong partner to go through life with, it can be a bed of thorns.
You want a positive force by your side who looks on the bright side and finds the silver lining, not the one who brings you down and squashes your hopes and dreams.
Sure, they might both be middle of the road, but choose the one that makes you feel good in good times and bad. [Read: Surround yourself with positive people in your life]
26. Which one knows you’re crazy and loves you anyway?
There is a comfortability in a relationship that most people avoid. It isn’t like when you leave the bathroom door open type of comfortability. That is just wrong. We’re talking about the type of comfortability when you tell someone the truth, and they don’t judge you or think badly of you.
If you can’t be completely honest and ask for help when you need it most, then a lifetime of living with someone you can’t be yourself with, is going to be a much bumpier ride.
27. What is your gut telling you?
We all have the inside voice that tells us things. Sometimes it tells us things we might not want to hear or acknowledge. There is probably a little voice in your head telling you what is right, but losing one of the guys you love is a scary thing.
If you push away the voice out of fear of choosing the wrong one, don’t. That little voice will come back to haunt you if you don’t heed its warning. [Read: How to let go of your fear of being alone and find peace]
28. Who makes you feel like the best version of you?
It is super nice when people tell us what we want to hear, but that isn’t always what’s best for us. If you want to know how to choose between two guys, find the one who challenges you the most and brings out the best in you.
It can be easy to pick the one who shelters you, makes you feel awesome about you, and does things for you, but that eventually gets old.
Find someone who pushes you to be the best person you can possibly be, so that you always feel good and independent about who you are.
Love is a mysterious thing, and even if you love them both, you love them in different ways.
To figure out which type of love is enduring, lasting, and forever, take a good look around, challenge yourself to ask the hard questions, and unfortunately, be prepared to hurt someone.
[Read: Still can’t choose between them? Use this 16 point criteria to test them both]
Deciding between two amazing men who both seem to have the hots for you isn’t an easy task. Hopefully, this list will help you figure out how to choose between two guys more easily.
