Thinking of giving more than a goodnight kiss after prom? Let’s be real: it’s doubtful that prom night sex will rock your world, so why do it?
Let’s set the stage. It’s prom night. Your mom is downstairs, waiting with the camera, your date is at the door, your friends are waiting in a limo, and you’ve got yourself a hotel room for the end of the evening. For what? After-prom sex, of course!
The practice has been around for generations, suggesting that promising to give up your V-card *or for the non-virgins, just plain old sex* after the big night is some sort of wild, romantic gesture to your significant other. Romantic? Maybe. Practical or fulfilling? Not exactly.
Are people really still under the assumption that girls should give up the goods, just because it’s prom night? If you think that the only way to make your final high school dance interesting is to promise a little post-prom penetration, you may need to find a different date. [Read: Losing your virginity and having sex for the first time]
Why after-prom sex isn’t a good idea
Let’s not be prudish, and just say you shouldn’t indulge yourself in a little late night hanky-panky. Instead, take a step back to consider why you’re giving the “OK, go” before you do. Here are 5 reasons why prom should be about dancing, and not about sex.
#1 Prom pressure–sex is not a “Thank You” card. Many high school girls get the idea that if they haven’t already had sex with their boyfriends, prom night is the perfect time to give it up. Why? Prom is about being young, free, having the rest of your lives ahead of you, and sharing potential last memories with good friends before you head your separate ways.
Something about living in the moment makes sex seem like a brilliant idea. But keep this in mind: sex is not a “Thank You” card awarded to your date, just because he took you to prom. If you haven’t had sex with him up to this point, why do it on a night when a hundred other girls are going to? [Read: 16 signs it’s just going to be a one night stand]
#2 It’s probably going to suck–skip the drama and make your first time special. If you’re planning on going to any after-prom parties before your hotel room rendezvous, there may be some drinking involved, and you will likely be exhausted by the end of the night. These are two things that definitely don’t make for a sexy experience.
As far as the physical aspect of your first time goes, it’s probably going to suck, and you’re not likely to orgasm… meaning what really matters that first time is how your guy treats you, how special you feel, and how comfortable you are with the situation. Shagging for the first time with your partner, whether you’re a virgin or not, should never be done out of obligation, nor should the occasion be rife with booze.
#3 You’re dating a douche if he expects prom sex. Presumption of prom sex leads to shallow ask-outs. If you are in a relationship and want to get it on after prom, then that’s your business, but if you’re simply dating someone who is pressuring you or heavily suggesting that something more than dancing and driving is implied for the night, then you’re definitely dating a douche.
Guys have a way of manipulating girls into giving it up, whether “it” means sexting naked photos, kissing, a hand job, or full-on sex. If you feel even remotely hesitant about getting it on for prom *or any other time, for that matter* then don’t do it. If you do it despite your gut feeling, there’s a big chance you’re going to end up feeling used, pissed, and regretful. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to pressure you to have sex]
#4 And the rumor mills run wild… If you are in a typical high school, the likelihood of your post-prom encounter spreading like wildfire is high–especially if you gave it up to your date rather than a monogamous boyfriend. If you don’t want everyone and their Twitter following knowing your sexual business, keep prom sex off the table–or do it with someone you can really trust, at a time when you’re both ready and not just riding the high of prom night. [Read: 10 toxic friends you don’t need in your life]
#5 Way less stress. Prom is stressful enough with planning, getting your dress, fixing your hair and makeup, renting a limo, figuring out the after-party situation, and doing it all with conflicting friends’ schedules, no less. Having a no-pressure attitude toward whether or not you have sex after prom will take a significant amount of stress off of you. Not to mention saving time!
Prom sex when you’re already in a relationship
If you’re already in a committed, intimate relationship with your partner, prom night sex may not seem like such a big deal. And to be honest, if you’ve already done it several times at this point, it will probably just feel like another sexual encounter with the added perk of wearing your best. Still, if you’re not feeling the love on that particular night, there’s no reason you should have to have sex after prom, just because you’ve had sex before.
If you do the deed
If you decide to get it on for prom, despite the reasons stated above, just remember to be safe and always use condoms. Even if you are on the pill, you should still make your guy wear protection to prevent STDs–especially if this is someone you’ve never slept with before. [Read: Here’s a prom sex alternative – dry humping!]
Prom sex is something you should never feel pressured into, and it isn’t something you have to prove to yourself, your boyfriend, your date, or your school. Furthermore, sex doesn’t make prom better; it’s the memories you make with your friends and loved ones that make prom special.
Thanks to high school peer pressure, it’s easy to get caught up in the hype of putting out for prom. But if you can help it, don’t be a prom night statistic–skip prom sex, and save it for a night you’re actually going to remember.
