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Girl Crush: What It Means to Have One & The Deeper Meaning It Hides

You’ve no doubt heard the term ‘girl crush’. But what is the real girl crush meaning and if you have one, does it mean you might be gay? Let’s explore.  

girl crush

Have you ever looked at another woman, either a regular woman or a celebrity, and thought ‘she looks great’ or ‘she’s hot’? Most of us have at some point. You probably didn’t give it much thought after that. But what if this person suddenly becomes a fixation of your attention? What if you always like what she wears, always think she looks great, and you want to spend time with her? Could it be a girl crush? And, what is the real girl crush meaning anyway? Does it mean you’re gay?

A girl crush can mean one of two things. Firstly, yes, you might be sexually attracted to her, and secondly, you might simply admire her and see traits in her that you wish you had yourself. 

It’s confusing when you develop a girl crush. But, it doesn’t always mean that you need to start rethinking your sexuality. [Read: Am I a lesbian or bisexual? Learn how to understand your true desires]

What exactly is a girl crush?

It’s hard to put a real definition on it, but it’s basically when one girl admires another girl. There doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual feelings involved, you simply like them. Sometimes quite intensely, and you want to spend more time in their company. 

For instance, I’ve always had a girl crush on Rihanna. Seriously, I wish I could dress like that girl. When I look at her, I can’t help but think ‘wow, she really can rock whatever she chooses’. I also like her easy confidence and the way she seems to make people feel at ease. I would love to be her friend! Do I fancy her in a sexual way? Not at all. To me, that is a girl crush. 

Basically, a girl crush meaning is that you like something about another girl or you just like them in general. It’s not a ‘oh, she’s my friend’ kind of like. It’s a bit more than that. You might want to be her. You might just want to spend more time around her. [Read: The straight girl crush and why every girl should have one]

What is the difference between a girl crush and a real crush?

A girl crush doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual, it can simply be admirable. For instance, you might look at a girl and think that she always looks really well turned out. She’s stylish and carries herself with grace and confidence. You might love the way she talks and really enjoy listening to what she has to say. That means you admire her! You wish you could be more confident and carry off those looks with the same grace.

Does it mean you’re gay? It could, but it probably doesn’t. [Read: How to know if you’re a lesbian – 17 signs it’s not just curiosity]

A genuinely real crush is more overwhelming. For instance, we’ve all had crushes in the past where we can’t stop thinking about that person. You imagine yourself in all manner of situations with them, usually sexual, and you suddenly lose the ability to speak or function when they are around.

You also exhibit physical signs of being attracted to that person, e.g. your pupils dilate, you become flustered, your breathing becomes shallow, and you’re generally a little fidgety. 

The best way to figure out whether the way you’re feeling about this girl is a genuine crush or a girl crush is to ask yourself whether you feel that way when she is around. If you do, well, perhaps you do have a genuine attraction to this girl. If you don’t, it’s just a girl crush. [Read: The most revealing psychological facts about crushes to help you decode what you’re really feeling]

Where do girl crushes lead?

They don’t have to lead anywhere. A girl crush on a celebrity is not likely to go anywhere at all. For instance, my girl crush on Rihanna is not going to suddenly manifest into us being BFFs and going shopping together. Your girl crush, if the person is more accessible, could become something, but only if you really wanted it to be. [Read: How to manifest love and the steps you must take to experience your best love life]

Having a crush on a girl, in a non-sexual way, basically shows that you’re lacking a trait you wish you had, or you think you are. You’re admiring her confidence because you’re lacking confidence yourself. The best advice? Work on yourself and stop focusing your attention on someone else! If this person can be an inspiration to you, e.g. pushing you to be a better version of who you are, that’s great. But don’t become so addicted to them that you can’t see your own fantastic qualities. 

Of course, we have to address the fact that girl crushes can sometimes be sexual, and that means that you need to think carefully whether you want to pursue it or not. [Read: First time lesbian experience minus any awkwardness]

Does a girl crush mean you’re gay?

Having a crush on a girl doesn’t always mean you’re gay, and actually 99% of the time, it doesn’t. If you’ve developed a girl crush and it’s made you think you might be, this is something you should spend time exploring yourself. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s part of your self-discovery. If a girl crush teaches you that you might be attracted to girls, then that’s great. You can now take this a step further and explore what that means to you.

Of course, the girl you have fixated your attentions on might not feel the same, so it’s probably better to simply use your girl crush as a self-discovery tool and not jump into something which you might not be ready for just yet. [Read: 15 secret signs of bisexuality to recognize a bisexual girl]

How to take a girl crush and turn it into something positive

Firstly, why not tell her you think she’s great? Everyone loves a compliment and it might make her day! Perhaps she is having a bad day and not feeling wonderful about herself. Then you tell her that you think she’s always so stylish, and you’ll boost her confidence. That’s never a bad thing. 

It’s not a great idea to suddenly admit ‘oh I have the biggest girl crush on you, I think you’re amazing’, because that could come over as slightly weird. Seriously, don’t do that. 

The best way to turn this little crush of yours into something positive is to think about why you feel this way about this particular girl. Is it something physical, e.g. you love her hair, the way she does her make up, how she dresses? Or is it something personality-wise, e.g. you find her funny, she’s always so laid-back, she looks confident and makes you feel the same way? [Read: How to stop the negative thoughts that are dragging you down]

Take what you learn and use it to improve yourself

Next, work out why you don’t feel that way about yourself. Do you love her confidence because much of the time you don’t feel that way yourself? In that case, work on making yourself feel more confident. See where that takes you. If it’s something physical, it’s important not to try and turn yourself into a carbon copy. This is a real danger. [Read: Should you worry about friend crushes or are they totally harmless?]

For instance, it’s fine to take tips, e.g. makeup techniques and hairstyling, but it’s not okay to suddenly morph into another replica of the person you’re girl crushing on. You need to remain you. What looks great on her might not look great on you, and vice versa. And, if you try and change yourself and be something you’re not, how do you know you’re not avoiding others having a similar crush on you? It’s a possibility!

Use the experience as a learning tool. Question what is missing in your life before setting that issue straight one way or another. 

Signs you have a crush on a girl in your life

Now you know the girl crush meaning, let’s check out some signs that you have one in your life. [Read: How to express your feelings and get your point across the right way]

1. You want to talk to her all the time

It could be that she makes you laugh or you just find her really interesting. Whatever it is, you want to talk to her all the time and you look for excuses to call or text. You probably also comment on her social media quite a lot too. You just want to engage and connect in some way.

2. You’re a little bit in awe of her

You almost put her on a pedestal. You look at her and she becomes your ideal. You want to be like her in some ways. Now, this is when you need to ask yourself what it is about her that you like so much. Are you lacking that in your life, or is it something a little deeper? [Read: 20 classy people traits that command awe and respect]

3. You want to know more about her

You’re interested in learning more about her history, what she thinks about certain things, etc. Her stories captivate you, and probably make you laugh. You might simply be in awe of her because she’s had amazing experiences that you haven’t had yet, but it could also be that you’re trying to get to know her because of a deeper attraction.

4. You want to touch her

This one could indicate something deeper than admiration. If you find yourself wanting to reach out and touch her regularly, ask yourself why. Do you feel something sexual towards her? However, this could also simply be that you’ve put her on that pedestal once more.

5. You become jealous when she hangs out with her other friends

She’s probably got other friends in her life and when she spends time with them, you become jealous. It could also be that you’re jealous of her partner. Remember that she is allowed to see other people and try to manage your feelings of jealousy to avoid it ruining your connection. [Read: Jealousy vs envy – How to tell them apart when they feel the same]

6. You miss her when she’s isn’t close to you

When she’s away or you haven’t seen her for a few days, you probably miss her. That’s when you want to reach out and talk to her. This isn’t necessarily a sign that your crush is more than admiration – we all miss our friends when they’re away from us.

7. You feel great when you make her laugh

If you manage to make her smile or laugh, you feel like you’ve won the lottery for a few seconds! That is you trying to impress her. You think that a smile or laugh is a reward that she’s given to you. Remember that she’s human and that you’re just as valid and equal as she is! [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile, and like you instantly]

If you’re noticing these signs, it’s probably that you are crushing on the girl who has entered your life. Take the time to think carefully about the depths of your feelings for her. Could there be something romantic or even sexual behind your feelings? Or, do you simply want to be a little more like her? Most of the time, a girl crush isn’t something to be concerned about.

[Read: Why do I hate myself so much? Here’s how to learn to love yourself]

Do you agree with our assessment of a girl crush? Most agree that it’s not sexual, and really isn’t a cause for assessing what and who you’re sexually attracted to.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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