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8 Steps to Get Back Your Body Confidence in the Bedroom

Sex appeal and body confidence has more to do with your state of mind than your outward appearance. Use these 8 steps and change your life forever!

body confidence

For hundreds of years, we have found it necessary to critique our own bodies and create unrealistic ideals of how our bodies should look. As a side effect, we create rules and formulas on what we must do to achieve this bodily ideal, and quite often, go to extreme lengths to obtain it.

Most will never achieve this ideal, but will spend precious time, money and energy on trying to reach the unreachable goal. As a result, we end up feeling downright terrible about ourselves.

Poor body confidence can have a significant impact on your everyday life, your relationships and your enjoyment in the bedroom. What’s the point we’re trying to make here? Well, life is too short to waste time worrying about what you look like!

8 steps you can take to improve your body confidence in life and in the bedroom

Don’t let your inhibitions get in the way of living! The secret to loving your body is much more simple than you think.

#1 Remember that people are always pretty happy to see other people naked!

No matter what you look like, how much your belly sticks out or how big your thighs are, if someone has managed to get you naked, they are going to be pretty happy at that moment in time.

In that situation, there are hundreds of other things on that person’s mind before they even consider starting to look for your flaws. After all, analyzing your body and picking out flaws runs the risk of ruining the moment for that person. So it simply won’t occur to them to do it!

Think about your own thought processes in that situation. I bet you’re not thinking about the size of their stomach or the size of their arms, and why? Because it doesn’t matter! [Read: 10 things you can do to feel really sexy without even trying to look sexy!]

#2 Exercise and be healthy!

Now, I’m not talking about getting that dream bikini body. The chances are, the average woman is never going to have a figure like Megan Fox. We all have better things to do with our time than spending hours and hours every day exercising and sculpting our bodies. But, simply being healthy is one thing that is achievable and will make you feel great about your body!

If you are unhealthy, you lack energy and you feel sluggish. As a result, you feel bad about yourself and your body. Conversely, if you make achievable health choices in your everyday life, you’ll have more energy and you’ll feel great! On top of that, exercise causes your body to release endorphins that are natural stress relievers and happiness boosters.

Choose an activity you enjoy *exercise doesn’t have to be a chore* and commit to doing it a couple of times a week… easy! And, next time you pick up a couple of chocolate bars at the supermarket, put them back down for the sake of your health and your sexual body confidence! [Read: 25 inspirational tips that will help you get motivated and work out]

#3 Make enjoyment your main priority

Remember, neither sex nor life are performances. Don’t feel like you have to act or look a certain way. You’re not playing a part.

Life is for living, and sex is meant to make you feel good! So attack both with that mentality, and don’t let your insecurities get in the way of your own enjoyment. You will feel so much better about yourself in return, and your partner will love it if you let go of your inhibitions and have fun instead!

#4 Take a break

Sex can be overwhelming if you have insecurities about your body. Don’t force yourself to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, and don’t have sex just for the sake of having sex. Quite often, it will only have negative impact on the way you feel about your body.

Take a time out and take the pressure off. Work on rebuilding your self-confidence without the pressure of sex. Come back to it when the time is right, and when you feel good about yourself and your body.

#5 Talk about your insecurities

Honesty is always the best policy. Tell your partner how you feel about your body. Sometimes, your body concerns can make you act uncomfortable and cagey in the bedroom. And your partner will be relieved to hear that this isn’t because of anything they are doing, and more often than not, they will be happy to help.

Let them know how they can make you feel more comfortable. If you are feeling especially bad about your body on a particular day, don’t be afraid to suggest that you leave a t-shirt on or turn the lights off.

Quite often, just talking about the problem will relieve some of the pressure and will instantly improve your confidence. You will be much more successful in battling your insecurities if you do it together, rather than fighting them alone. [Read: How to look way better naked using 15 real life tips]

#6 Banish the imaginary “other woman”

You may not realize it but there is always another woman. No, your partner isn’t cheating, she is all in your head. She might be the woman you would love to look like, or the ideal woman you believe your partner would prefer. You may find yourself constantly comparing yourself to this imaginary woman. And in doing so, you will always feel inadequate. Remember, you are you, and you are never going to be anyone else.

Even if you make efforts to be like this other woman and make significant progress, I can guarantee that you will never feel as perfect as you hoped you would. The “other woman” is ever changing, because as human beings, our perceptions of perfection change and adapt constantly. We will always find ways in which we can improve ourselves and will never reach perfection.

Banish the “other woman” and don’t let her taunt you! After all, you will always be better than her. YOU ARE REAL!  And that always trumps imaginary perfection. [Read: How your own self respect can affect the relationships you share with others]

#7 Choose clothes and underwear that make YOU feel great

We are constantly told which clothes and which type of underwear will make you look sexy. But the truth is, we are all different shapes, and have different interests. How can anyone know what will make us look good more than ourselves?

The trick to choosing clothes and underwear that will make you look good and feel great is so much simpler than most of us realize. If an item makes you feel uncomfortable or you simply don’t like it, don’t wear it. [Read: 10 easy ways to increase your sex appeal with almost no effort!]

Don’t feel like you need to wear skimpy dresses and stringy underpants to look sexy. If they make you uncomfortable and have negative impact on your self-esteem, you appear less confident and less attractive.

Only wear clothes and underwear that make YOU feel sexy, without worrying about the expectations of others. Maybe, you feel sexiest in a pair of girl boxers, so what? You have to feel good to look good. [Read: How to dress for sex in a way that makes you feel comfortable]

#8 Pick the right partner

The last and most important step is making sure your partner is right for you. If they are the reason for your lack of body confidence and they are not supportive in the choices you make to improve your self-esteem, GET RID!

You should never be with anyone who puts you down, makes you feel uncomfortable or actively makes you feel bad about yourself. We enter relationships because we believe that there is enjoyment and support to be gained by spending time with that person. If that isn’t the case, then you are only wasting your time, damaging your happiness and ruining your self-esteem. [Read: The art of rearranging your bedroom to create the perfect sex bedroom]

Forget the fad diets, those ridiculous exercise routines that you hate, and that “sexy” dress that made you feel horribly self-conscious. The truth is that we are all different and we all have our own flaws, we should embrace that! Wouldn’t it be boring if we were all size 6 supermodels?

[Read: 12 things that really matter to a guy beyond physical appearances]

Learn to love yourself, enjoy your body and regain your body confidence. I promise that the pay off will be greater than you ever imagined, both in life and in the bedroom!

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Alice Tucker
My name is Alice; I'm a freelance writer, blogger and web designer from Hampshire. I am also a passionate creative writer, creating screenplays and short storie...