25 Signs He’s Bored & Losing Interest in the Long Distance Relationship

It’s never fun to live far apart from your boyfriend. If you’re having problems, here are the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship.

signs he's losing interest in the long distance relationship

Long distance relationships can only work if both people are into it. If not, it’s just going to be you investing all your time and energy into a relationship that isn’t going to last. And that’s what hurts. So, read on to learn the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. Protect your heart.

How to tell the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship

Everyone tells you that long distance relationships are a bad idea, but some people disagree. Some relationships are long distance, and they are for the best.

Is it easy? Of course, not. But it’s not necessarily a bad idea. As long as you both have a goal to communicate, you’ll be able to overcome those obstacles.

But, not all relationships are meant to last. And long distance relationships certainly have their own set of issues, which add pressure.

With the distance between you, it’s easy to get distracted by other people and activities, forgetting the person who’s miles apart from you *this is why communication is essential*. [Read: 10 myths most people believe about long distance relationships]

If you’re serious about the relationship, it’s important that your partner is on the same page as you. So, if you feel something is going on, look at these signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. If so, you’ll be able to talk with him and see where the relationship should go.

1. He doesn’t communicate with you

If you are long distance, all you have is communication. But if he’s not calling or texting you consistently, it’s a clear sign he’s not fully investing in the relationship.

Maybe it’s the distance. Maybe he doesn’t see the relationship as something serious. But the point is if he was interested he would be investing the time in talking to you. [Read: Here’s your guide for how to make long distance relationships work]

2. You feel something is off

When you first met, the sparks flew. But now, you feel there’s something off. He doesn’t have that spark in him when he talks to you. There’s no excitement anymore.

But if you feel there’s something weird with his behavior, something is going on. And if you feel it in your gut, then you better pay attention to that. Your intuition is almost always right and never lies. So, don’t ignore it.

3. You initiate everything

He’ll reply to your texts, but he’s not reaching out and sending you any messages first. You find yourself pushing to see each other, and he’s not showing much excitement.

You feel like you’re the one doing all the work and that’s probably because you are. This is a huge sign that he is losing interest in the long distance relationship. [Read: 10 things to never do in a long term relationship]

4. No more talks about the future

You used to talk about the future and create goals together, but those conversations have died down. That’s not a good sign.

Long distance couples must talk about the future and make plans. If you’re not making goals, then there’s no point in being together. And if he’s not talking about the future with you, maybe it’s because he doesn’t see you in it but he just doesn’t want to come right out and say it.

5. He cancels plans

You booked a weekend getaway to see each other, but he canceled the trip at the last minute. Something happened with work or school; it doesn’t matter.

If he was really interested, unless it was an emergency, he wouldn’t cancel plans to see you. Canceling plans is a passive-aggressive way to let you know that he’s not interested in continuing the long distance relationship. 

6. He doesn’t want to talk too long

You don’t have many options when it comes to communication. It’s either talking on the phone, FaceTime, or texting.

When you do get the chance to chat, he makes sure the conversation doesn’t last too long. He’s becoming less and less available to talk to you. [Read: How to get past long distance relationship anxiety]

7. You’re not jealous

In long distance relationships, jealousy is normal. You’re not around your partner; you don’t want other women to make a move.

But if he’s not feeling any emotion towards you when you’re around other men, that’s a concern. It doesn’t sound like he cares.

8. He gets busier and busier

Not all men are straightforward with their wants and needs. Sure, he may like you, but he isn’t interested in breaking things off.

So, to avoid confrontation, he becomes busy, finding excuses not to talk to you. Come on, you know deep down that no one can possibly be that busy, right? [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re about to get dumped]

9. He doesn’t text back

Or he takes hours to reply. Either way, it’s not a good look. When a guy is interested, he replies to texts as soon as he gets them. If he’s taking longer to reply or his messages have shortened, it’s a sign he’s creating distance.

People do this on purpose when they don’t want to be direct about how they feel about you. He’s hoping you get the hint that he is no longer interested in the long distance relationship. He might even hope you break up with him first.

10. He tells you he doesn’t want a serious relationship

When you first met, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. But now that he’s had a taste of long distance, he’s changed his song and dance.

Now, he’s telling you he’s looking for a casual relationship and nothing too serious. He might even refuse to refer to you as his girlfriend anymore.

11. You’ve taken a backseat

You don’t feel like you’re a priority in his life. And if you don’t feel that, then it’s true. He’s not pulling his weight in the relationship, and he’s no longer the partner that he used to be.

So, he’s keeping you on the side burner until he sees you again. He clearly has people and things that are higher priority than you, and you need to admit it to yourself. [Read: 9 signs your boyfriend is no longer in love with you]

12. You don’t discuss relationship issues

Every couple has their issues; we’re all human. Talking about your issues is crucial as it helps you grow and improve as people and as a couple.

But if he’s not interested in working on relationship issues, then it doesn’t sound like he’s into being in the relationship. He has most likely tuned out, and so he doesn’t even care about fixing things with you.

13. He’s full of excuses

It doesn’t matter if he didn’t text you back for hours or answer your call, he always has an excuse as to why.

And when you want to see him, he also has excuses for why he can’t. If you are at the point where you’re wondering if any of his excuses are actually true, then he is probably losing interest in your long distance relationship.

14. He doesn’t use pet names for you anymore

When couples are happy, they typically call their significant other cute pet names. It doesn’t have to be anything official, but usually, it’s something like “Honey” or “Babe.”

So, if he used to call you cute names like that before, but he’s suddenly stopped, then that’s not a good sign. [Read: What your pet name says about your relationship]

15. He talks about another girl he knows

Maybe some new girl started at his workplace. In one of your conversations, he casually mentions it as part of his day.

But now, whenever you talk to him, he’s always telling you about what this girl said or did. Or that they go to lunch together every day. If you find that he’s talking a little too much about someone else, then you know he’s probably interested in her.

16. He’s hanging out with people you never heard of

If he’s not just talking about another girl but is telling you that he’s hanging out with a new group of people that you don’t know, then he is building a new life.

When he meets all these new people, he is probably having a great time. And who knows… he might meet another girl as a result too.

17. He’s not trying to impress you 

Whenever he does find the time to see you, he never puts any effort into how he looks. He might skip showering and not shave. His clothes might be dirty or not fashionable like he used to wear. And he certainly isn’t putting on the cologne to turn you on anymore.

If he has become a slob lately, then he’s not even trying to impress you at all – because he doesn’t care anymore. [Read: Compromise in a relationship – 17 ways to give and not feel like you lost]

18. No more video calls

When you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s important to see your partner’s face once in a while. So, depending on how far apart you are, sometimes video calls are the only option.

But if you notice changes and that he doesn’t ever want you to see him on video anymore, there is a reason – and it’s probably not a good one.

19. You don’t know when you’ll ever see him again

You might have had a pretty predictable schedule of visiting each other when you first started out long distance. But now, you don’t have anything scheduled for when you will see him again.

He might just say “let’s play it by ear,” but he never ever follows through with finding a time to get together. You’re even wondering if you’ll ever see him again.

20. He never puts in any effort

Not only does he not initiate anything like calls, texts, or visits, he’s just not putting any effort into anything whatsoever.

He never sends you any flowers or tells you he loves you. He’s just gotten completely lazy and it feels like he’s totally tuned out of the relationship. [Read: 31 Sad signs he doesn’t like you anymore and is losing interest in you]

21. He doesn’t ask what’s going on in your life

When you finally do get to talk to him by text or a phone call, he seems very uninterested in what happened to you that day – or anything else going on in your life.

Not only does he not ask you, but he also seems to not offer much in return. And he also seems a bit vague or shady about what he’s been up to.

22. It’s awkward when you see him

On the rare occasions that you actually do get to see him in person, it doesn’t feel the same. It’s quite awkward and the relationship does not seem to be flowing like it used to.

Maybe he doesn’t hold your hand anymore or isn’t interested in sex as much as he used to be. The good feeling between the two of you is definitely fading – or even completely gone.

23. You have boring conversations

Talking to him is like pulling teeth. Whether it’s asking him what’s going on in his life or just trying to start up an interesting intellectual conversation, he has no time for it.

He will just give you grunts or one-word answers. You are ridiculously bored when you talk to him because he seems completely uninterested in talking to you. [Read: 13 troubling signs he’s losing interest in you and may walk away]

24. The relationship feels like a chore

Relationships should make you feel good and flow naturally. They should not be too much effort. So, if you feel like his presence in your life is more a chore than a joy in your life, then it could be because he has lost interest in your long distance relationship. He also probably feels the same way.

25. He asks for an open relationship

This is one of the biggest signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship. You can’t really ask for a more obvious one, can you?

If he suggests that the two of you see other people, then that means he has someone in mind. Either that, or it’s just a coward’s way to “break up” with you. Maybe he’s hoping you’ll do the dirty work so he doesn’t have to.

[Read: 31 sad signs he doesn’t like you anymore and he’s losing interest in you]

Long distance relationships are a lot of work. But if you’re feeling the signs he’s losing interest in the long distance relationship, it’s important you talk about it with your partner. See what he’s really thinking about.

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