Unpopular Opinion: Playing Hard to Get with a Guy is Pointless

There’s a time and place for nearly everything. Is playing hard to get with a guy one of them? Here’s the truth you really need to know.

playing hard to get with a guy

I’ll be honest; sometimes playing hard to get with a guy can work. However, it won’t make anything last. You might initially snag a guy by playing hard to get, but women often take it too far and end up losing their hook and bait along with the guy.

That’s why playing hard to get with a guy is sometimes pointless. And if you go for a guy who really doesn’t play games, you’re worse off than you realize. You have to start respecting a man’s time and show him you like him if that’s how you feel.

Guys play hard to get sometimes, too

It’s usually just as pointless as you playing hard to get. In all honesty, games aren’t good for anyone. We’re all guilty of doing silly things in order to get someone’s attention and naturally, playing hard to get is often our first move.

But do you like when a guy plays hard to get? Probably not. More often than not, girls who are going for a guy who remains just out of reach get annoyed and end up moving on. So why is it women think the same games work with men? [Read: Is he playing hard to get or is he not into you?]

Why playing hard to get with a guy is pointless

It can work sometimes but usually, it’s not very beneficial for forming healthy, happy relationships. Here’s why playing hard to get with a guy might not go as you planned.

#1 He might hate mind games. Some guys like the game aspect of dating and getting to know someone. Others, however, hate it. You can’t possibly know which he is going into it and if you really like him, it’s just not worth the risk.

#2 He could misinterpret it. This is especially true if you don’t know how to play hard to get in a way that actually makes a guy more interested. In this case, you could be doing a bad job of it.

And instead of him being interested in you, you’re showing him that you don’t like him. Some guys get the hint and take off without trying to win you over. That means you’ll turn him away instead of bringing him in closer. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]

#3 He only likes the chase. Some guys have a problem when it comes to chasing women. And that problem is that they ONLY like the chase. Once they get a girl, they don’t have any interest in her.

If you run into one of these guys and play hard to get, you might hook him. But if he’s this type, he’ll end up leaving once he has you. So what’s the point?

#4 You’ll seem immature. This is probably the biggest reason playing had to get with a guy is more harmful than it is helpful. He might look at your playing hard to get as a really immature way to get someone to like you.

And that’s because it is. If you’re serious about finding a guy and having a good relationship with him, playing hard to get is such a childish way to go about it. Be mature and just get to know him.

#5 He’ll have a hard time knowing how you really feel. It all has to do with you playing a game. Because that’s what it is. He can’t tell how you really feel if you’re dodging him or not responding to his texts in an appropriate timeframe. He’ll be clueless and that can hurt your chances of getting him. [Read: 12 signs it’s time to tell him that you like him]

#6 You’re setting your expectations very low. This all has to do with the fact that you’re playing a game. And if he knows what you’re doing, he must think you don’t care too much and therefore, he won’t either.

He might even play along with you and then not treat you well because that’s how he sees you treating him. It sets your expectations low and leaves more room for a guy to mistreat you.

What to do instead of playing hard to get

You don’t have to play hard to get in order to win yourself a great guy. In fact, you can do a number of other things to get him to like you and show him you like him. Here’s what you should do instead.

#1 Flirt. Flirting is so much more powerful than pretending like you don’t care about anything. It firstly shows that you’re actually into him and it also makes you seem playful and fun. Flirt more and play games less if you want to win yourself a great guy. [Read: 30 really sexy flirting tips for girls]

#2 Withhold only small amounts of information. You can still make a man work for it while not exactly playing hard to get. What you want to do instead is make yourself seem a little mysterious.

You can tell him stuff about yourself but leave some stuff a mystery so he has to work a little bit to figure you out. It’ll be fun for him and it has some of the same elements as playing hard to get, but it isn’t harmful. [Read: How to be mysterious without appearing too distant]

#3 Be blunt about how you feel. For many reasons, this is far more effective than trying to conceal your feelings. You can straight up tell a man that you think he’s amazing and you’d like to get to know him more.

This works because it’s surprising. It’s a shock and it’s extremely flattering. Not many people have the courage to do something like this and it’ll stand out in his mind. That’s exactly what you want.

#4 Laugh at his jokes. We tend to like people more when they think we’re funny. That’s just how it works psychologically so if you want this guy to pay attention to you and like you, laugh when he jokes around.

You can even tell him he’s funny and talk about how much you like his personality. When you express this, he’ll be more intrigued than if you played hard to get. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

#5 Tell him you think he’s interesting. And say the word “interesting” in particular. The reason you want to use that word is because it can have a number of different meaning. Don’t tell him how you mean it, either.

It’ll make him use his imagination and he’ll be intrigued as to what you truly think of him. That intrigue will keep him coming back much in the same way you think playing hard to get will.

#6 Have fun and let your sense of humor shine. Just relax and be yourself. Let your sense of humor come out so he can see how funny you really are. Get goofy and just enjoy your time with him. The more fun he has with you, the more he’ll want to see you again.

[Read: 15 ways to make a man chase you and fall hard]

Playing hard to get with a guy isn’t something that’ll lead to a satisfying, healthy relationship. Instead, try some of these other tips to snag yourself a great man.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...