Is Your Guy Boyfriend Material or Fling Material?

When you meet a guy, you typically would wonder if he’s boyfriend material. Use these 20 signs to know who’s in it for the relationship and who’s not.

boyfriend or fling material

When you go out on a date with someone, you’re basically sizing them up in order to find out whether they have what it takes to be in a relationship. Some people are brave enough to ask about it directly, but that doesn’t go well with most daters these days.

Being in a relationship is only attractive when a person is ready to settle down or if they’ve found someone that they’re not willing to let go of that easily. If don’t see eye to eye on the subject, there’s no point in wasting your time, especially if someone will end up getting hurt.

You start relationships in order to seal the connection that you felt on that first meeting. This means that you’re both ready to stop seeing other people and start working on seeing each other permanently – or until one of you decides to end things.

Some guys don’t want to be tied down at all, or until they meet the one who’ll change their mind. The good thing is that, as many players there are looking to hook up, there are just as many guys out there who are ready to settle down and find the love of their lives. [Read: 12 things to look for in a guy before dating him]

Which one’s boyfriend material and which one’s not?

If you want to know if the guy you’re seeing is boyfriend material, don’t expect him to carry around a sign that says so. Even if he admits to wanting to be someone’s boyfriend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is boyfriend material.

Some players are built to be boyfriends, but they generally don’t want to settle down. If you’re dying to find out if the guy you’re seeing is looking for a relationship, you can always ask. But since this is the 21st century, that sort of conversation on the first date can scare off even the most willing candidates. So, what can you do?

The most effective way to find out if he’s boyfriend material is a simple observation of how he treats you on the first few dates. During those initial meetings, your only job is to look for the signs that say he’s boyfriend material or fling material. By date three or four, you’ll be able to determine whether or not he’s actually ready to commit.

We have compiled a list of what to look out for when you’re seeing someone new. This will tell you whether or not your guy is boyfriend material or just looking for a good time. [Read: 50 questions to test your compatibility]

The boyfriend material checklist

If the guy you’re seeing displays any of these traits, you can be sure that he’s the type who can handle the responsibility of a commitment.

#1 He knows when he’s supposed to call/text/DM. Most guys are clueless about corresponding with their SOs. Guys who are BF material know that they have to hit their girls up without needing a reason.

#2 He behaves himself. Sex isn’t as tempting to guys like these. When they are offered a copious amount of booty, they will politely refuse in lieu of a more substantial booty – yours.

#3 He will go through the motions. Even though chivalry is practically dead, he will strive to do everything by the book. He will take you out, wait the prerequisite three dates before attempting to hook up, and he will agree or insist on meeting your friends and family. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

#4 He can afford to date. Being able to take you out means that he is confident enough in his financial status. Prospective boyfriends know that being able to provide *even if their girlfriend is richer than Donald Trump* is a given.

#5 He’s honest. Like, really honest. He knows that relationships don’t work if there is duplicity and dishonesty. He doesn’t tell you things that you want to hear because he would rather be upfront about his thoughts and feelings.

#6 Pet names don’t faze him. You can call him “Pooky” and he won’t give a damn. He’ll probably call you “Snookums” too.

#7 He’s in it for the long haul. He has no qualms about where things are going. The question, “So, what are we?” is readily answered with an affirmative, and he doesn’t need to slow things down, just so he can gather his thoughts about the situation.

#8 He knows the difference between right and wrong. No cheating. No lying. No hurting. He knows what’s up.

#9 He cuddles! No more awkward body language analyses. This guy will grab you, hug you, and fall asleep with his face in your hair.

#10 He will take you back to your place and wish you a good night. Unless you politely ask him to sleep with you, this guy’s main priority is seeing you home safe. He won’t call you a cab or Uber, and he will even walk you home if necessary.

[Read: 9 signs the guy you’re dating is husband material]

The fling material checklist

Guys who are fling material can easily be spotted if he displays any of the following.

#1 He milks the honeymoon phase. He will shower you with affection, take you on whirlwind dates, and will show his emotions physically.

#2 He doesn’t want to have “The Talk.” Try as you might, you will never get a straight answer from this one about where the relationship is going. The best you can hope for is a vague answer with an indefinite promise. [Read: 10 signs it’s time for the relationship talk]

#3 He doesn’t talk to you about anything else but your relationship and sex. Oh, you’ll talk about your day, your job, and what happened before he got here. But you can’t expect him to open up about his past, his emotions, and his feelings for you.

#4 You have a name. Not a pet name. He doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend. “This is [insert your name here].” That’s it. You have a name, so that’s that.

#5 He thinks it’s okay not to call. Or exist. Why are you so mad? He didn’t know that he’s obligated to check on you. Besides, he’s busy… Seeing other people.

#6 You might never meet his family. Everyone knows that meeting the family is a big deal. That’s why all you’ll ever see of them is their Facebook and Instagram profiles.

#7 His friends know what’s going on. Have your ever felt like someone was watching you with a weird look? Have you ever felt more than one pair of eyes doing that? It’s probably his friends because they know what’s up. They know who you aren’t.

#8 He’s only boyfriend material whenever you’re together. That’s why it’s so confusing to be with this type of person. You feel like he’s going to be your boyfriend, but everything changes once he’s out the door.

#9 He’d rather be the little spoon. Oh, he doesn’t cuddle. That’s a big no-no in his book. But if you really want to, you can spoon him.

#10 He calls you a cab. Because nothing is more annoying than getting out of bed to take home someone who’s not your girlfriend.

[Read: 10 guys to avoid if you want to find true love]

See the difference? If you keep making excuses for the ones who aren’t boyfriend material, you’d better get your act together and look for the ones who are. The most you’ll get from a guy who’s fling material is great sex and a bit of fun. But if you’re looking for something more serious, let go of the fling thing!

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Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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