How to Be the Perfect Girlfriend: 50 Little Ways to Get There

Want to know how to be the perfect girlfriend? Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done. Don’t try to control him, just love him, and let him be him.

how to be the perfect girlfriend

We all want to know how to be the perfect girlfriend that every guy wants, don’t we? We try so hard to be casual, unemotional, fun, spontaneous, and not sweat the small stuff, but for most of us that goes against our very core.
Women are planners. Let’s face it, we need to know where we’re going so we know where we are. That leads us to ask an endless number of questions, not only of ourselves, but of the guys we date.
Guys hate questions. Yep, I am going to put it out there. If there is one thing that makes a guy squirm, want to ditch out, or disappear, it is our endless number of exhibitions into their lives, their friendships, and their worlds. Just one of the irritating things that guys wish we didn’t do, being the perfect girlfriend is about letting them be them and you be you. [Read: 14 awkward questions you should never ask a guy]
How to be the perfect girlfriend – 50 things that can make a difference
Not to worry, you can be the perfect girlfriend. You just need to follow these 50 suggestions.
#1 Hush. Try not to talk so much. Having empty space in your conversation is not a bad thing. In fact, it gives him a level of comfortability. While he is watching the game, deep inside himself, or just trying to relax, just try to hush for a bit. Let him be quiet. [Read: How to be a better girlfriend: 30 relationship changers]
#2 No more chick flicks. Save the chick flicks for girl’s night. He may go along, but you and I both know he doesn’t enjoy them. Spend your time together doing things you both want, which doesn’t include sappy movies.
#3 Don’t treat him like one of your girlfriends. He doesn’t care that Lisa is a bitch, or what she said about you. Save the girl talk for your girlfriends. Try to find something more meaningful to talk to him about, or something that he is interested in.
#4 Don’t be his mother. He knows when his behaviors aren’t appropriate or good. You don’t have to be his mother and state the obvious, he already has one. Sure, he loves her, but he certainly doesn’t want to live with her anymore. [Read: What does it mean when a guy has mommy issues?]
#5 Don’t state the obvious. When he messes up don’t be there to rub it in. If something is obvious, let it talk for itself. Even if you feel the need to be right, bask in the glory silently. There’s no need to point out you were right and make him feel silly.
#6 Stop being so critical. You may think you provide him critical feedback to help, he hears it as critical. Stop analyzing him and what he does. Just let him be him without always trying to change him.
#7 Give him some space. If he has a bad day, let him have it. Don’t ask all sorts of questions because you feel insecure. Let him sit and sulk. He will come back when he is over it and done pouting.
#8 Let him make his own decisions. If he makes a decision, stand behind it. Unless you have something to lose in the deal, just keep your mouth shut and support his decision, especially if it has already been made.
#9 Trust him. Show him you think he is someone special by trusting in him. Don’t accuse or always think the worst. Know that what he does, he does out of love because you know he is a good person. [Read: How to trust your boyfriend: 12 questions to help you decide]
#10 Send him nice messages. A quick message telling him how great he is and how much you love him brightens up his day. Just make sure that it is short and sweet.
#11 Encourage him. Try to be the voice of encouragement in his life, not the naysayer. If he has a dream, encourage him to follow it. Let him know he can’t succeed if he never tries, and even if it doesn’t work, you won’t think any less of him.
#12 Don’t talk about him to others. Women have a problem dishing on their boyfriends. Be the woman that everyone admires and the best girlfriend by always staying positive and being kind, both to his face and behind his back.
#13 Don’t offer advice unless asked for. If he wants your opinion, surely he will ask for it.
#14 Make him feel good about himself. Tell him the things you like and keep the things you don’t to yourself, when possible.
#15 Listen when he needs you. Don’t assume you know what he wants. Listen to what he is telling you he wants, and then fulfill his needs. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#16 Don’t point out his limits. If you have a tendency to be the devil’s advocate, start being the cheerleader instead. He has enough people in his life telling him what he can’t do, don’t be one of them.
#17 Don’t poke fun at him. Guys aren’t very good at laughing at themselves. Being very sensitive about the way that people see them, try not to poke fun at them.
#18 Do tell him you love him. If you want to be the best girlfriend ever tell him you love him without expecting to hear it in return. Say it just so he knows.
#19 Do tell him what you love about him. Point out all the things you love about the man in your life. When he feels good about himself, he feels good about the woman in his life. [Read: Different ways of saying I love you without saying a word]
#20 Attend to his needs without being needy. If you know he has specific needs, try to fulfill them when you can without expecting favors in return. If you aren’t in the mood, satisfy his sexual needs in another way. Be the giver once in a while, not wanting anything back.
#21 Go out with your friends. Sometimes he just wants the house to himself and to not feel guilty that he is blowing you off or not including you.
#22 Let him be. Don’t always be up in his business. Just let him be.
#23 Don’t get involved in his family drama. Let him badmouth his family, be supportive, but don’t voice your opinion. You can say bad things about your family, but when someone else does, it makes you feel bad.
#24 Don’t be besties with his mother. It is a good thing to be nice and friendly with his mother. Avoid forming a close relationship with her or being besties. No guy wants the two women in his life comparing notes.
#25 Do nice things just because. Do his favorite things weekly just to let him know you care.
#25 Don’t make him a to-do list. Split your chores, but don’t micromanage everything he does. He already has a boss, you needn’t be another one. [Read: 10 signs the honeymoon stage of your relationship is over]
#26 Don’t make assumptions. Instead of accusing him of things, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Verify before you assume things.
#27 Don’t set him up on play dates. He is a grown man. You don’t have to set him up with your friend’s boyfriend. If he wants to come along, fine, but don’t act like you made a play date for him.
#28 Clean up for him once in a while. Sure he is a pig, but that isn’t going to change. Instead of getting honked off that he left a mess, just clean it up. It takes you five minutes, avoid a messy fight, and sometimes you should let things go. [Read: Are you being taken for granted? 16 discreet signs to watch out for]
#30 Never go to bed without giving him a kiss. Don’t ever go to sleep without a kiss and a good night.
#31 Love him, not in spite of his faults, but because of them. Don’t feel like you are superior and overlook his bad qualities, love him for the entire package he is.
#32 Never say things that you can’t take back. If you say it, you can’t take it back. Being the best girlfriend means never saying things that will sit in his mind and stew that you wish you hadn’t.
#33 Fight fair. Don’t play games. When you argue, argue fair without bringing in other people or events from the past. [Read: All is fair in love and war: But why start a war in love]
#34 Know what his favorite things are. Pay attention to what makes him happy instead of assuming that you know. You may be surprised to find that, what you thought turned him on, doesn’t.
#35 Listen to what he is telling you in his actions not his words. Men are not verbal creatures. Pay attention to his behaviors and listen to what they say instead of trying to have him connect on your terms only.
#36 Try to be positive. See your relationship in a positive light instead of always pointing out the negative.
#37 Let him go out with the guys without reprise. If you say “go ahead” to vacation or guy’s night, don’t make him pay afterward in a passive aggressive way. Ahem, we all know what I am talking about.
#38 Let him have his own space. A guy has a tendency to lose his autonomy once we move in on their world. Let him have his “you-free” space untouched by feminine hands.
#39 Maintain yourself. If you were 123 pounds when you met, stay 123. Don’t let yourself go just because you feel comfortable.
#40 Be independent. Don’t rely on him for every little thing. Sure, he wants you to have a little dependence, but if you suddenly can’t tie your own shoe without him, it makes him feel responsible and smothered. [Read: How to be independent even if you’re in a relationship]
#41 Try not to say “nothing” when he asks what is wrong. Don’t be passive aggressive. If she has something she is upset about, a good girlfriend just lays it out there.
#42 Be empathetic. Try to put yourself in his shoes. It is not easy to be a guy. They often don’t even know what they are feeling, but if you constantly try to tell him your side instead of listening, you won’t get anywhere.
#43 Appreciate him. Look around and see all the quiet things he does for you and point them out. Don’t expect him to do things for you, tell him how lucky you are to have him.
#44 Let him win once in awhile. Let him win the battle occasionally. Sometimes it is more important to be loved than right.
#45 Don’t overspend. If you share finances, don’t spend the majority. A good girlfriend doesn’t put unnecessary financial stress for things that she has to have. [Read: Don’t stay stuck: 16 strategies to get your shit together]
#46 Smile. A man feels good when he makes the woman he loves feel good. Happy wife, happy life.
#47 Tell him you are happy. Most men gauge themselves by the way they make their woman feel. Tell him how happy he makes you.
#48 Keep it spicy. What goes on in the bedroom is going on in the relationship. Put the extra effort in to make sure you connect sexually. [Read: Porn for couples: Why it might just save your relationship]
#49 Don’t dress him. Like his style and don’t try to change it. That is why you fell in love with him.
#50 Accept him for him. Stop trying to change him. Just let him be him and you be you.
[Read: 17 easy ways to be a really good girlfriend to your boyfriend]
Understanding how to be the perfect girlfriend is about accepting who your man is and loving him unconditionally. Stop trying to plan and control and just live with him as happy and carefree as possible.

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Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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