Why Do Guys Only Want to Hook Up with Me? And All You Want Is a BF

No one said dating was easy and on top of that, it seems you can’t land a boyfriend. If you ask, why do guys only want to hook up with me? Read on!

why do guys only want to hook up with me

Ever found yourself wondering aloud, why do guys only want to hook up with me? No, there’s nothing actually wrong with you. I know after the first guy that played you, you were upset. Now it’s the sixth or seventh, and you think maybe there’s something wrong with you. Now, there’s nothing wrong with you, though there is something wrong with your strategy ‘cause it’s not working—clearly.

But you read this with a purpose, you finally realize there’s a problem. Don’t think you’re weird or a special case because you’re not. In fact, so many women have this problem. They aren’t able to see the problem nor the solution. [Read: How to make him want more after a one night stand]

Why do guys only want to hook up with me? 11 answers that will reveal the truth

I was one of these girls that found a guy, nice and funny, yet, he never wanted anything more than a hook up. And I became confused. I don’t get it, I’m funny, pretty, and smart. Why wouldn’t a guy want to be with me? But I quickly realized my problem. Though they may have really liked me, I gave them what they wanted right away without making them put any effort into it. This is a common mistake women make.

Now, this may not be your reason. However, I’m going to talk about all the main reasons why he only wants to hook up with you. They’re much more obvious than you think.

#1 You give it all too soon. I know this shouldn’t be a problem as we’re now living in the 21st century, but socially speaking, not much has evolved. Sex with a guy on the first or second date isn’t a problem. However, you send out clear signs that you’re not looking for anything serious. At least that’s how he interprets it.

Try slowing things down and showing him that you want to get to know him before anything physical. [Read: Is the sexual tension you feel mutual lust?]

#2 You started as a casual relationship. Once you enabled a casual tone to the relationship, it’s not easy getting it to the next level unless you both have intense feelings for each other. Though at the time, you weren’t looking for anything, now that you want a commitment, he’s not into it. This is because the expectations for anything serious were never established. [Read: 18 ways to split casual dates from real love]

#3 You ignored the signs. You knew he wasn’t emotionally available. You don’t have to be a fortune teller to see those signs. But rather than walking away, you chose to ignore them and stick it through, hoping for him to one day randomly change. He never takes you out on dates, and he never sleeps over. You don’t hang out other than to have sex. He’s not emotionally available and you know it.

#4 You didn’t tell him what you wanted. This is often another huge problem in relationships. I know, I know, you didn’t want to put any expectations or pressure on the relationship so you just decided to ‘go with the flow.’ But what happened? Of course, you developed feelings. And now you’re upset because he only wants to hook up with you. Here’s the thing, you weren’t clear from the start.

#5 He doesn’t see you in his future. If a guy really likes a girl, he’ll do whatever it takes to make it work. He’ll go literally above and beyond because he pictures this girl by his side in his future. Now, if he doesn’t see you in his future, he puts minimal effort into the relationship and simply uses you for sex until he finds the ‘right’ girl. [Read: 12 clues a guy is just using you]

#6 He gets everything without committing. Why would any guy want to tie themselves down into a relationship when they already get everything they want from you without the commitment? It’s just not economical for him to do that. He’s literally getting all the perks without lifting a finger. It’s a great deal he’s in. He’s not looking to change it.

#7 You reply to their hook up texts. He’s probably texted you at two am wondering what you’re doing. You probably replied because you like him. I totally get it. I did it too. But all this does is alert them that you accept their text messages, and you’re willing to be there for him at two am. Has he ever called you in the afternoon just to say hi? Probably not. [Read: 10 booty call moves that may look like true love]

#8 You don’t give off the commitment vibe. I know this sounds shitty, trust me. I agree that it’s bullshit, but there are many guys I’ve dated who told me that I didn’t give off the vibe that I wanted anything serious. Of course, they never asked, idiots, but that’s not the point. This correlates with giving them everything they want right away and allowing them to treat you like a hookup.

#9 You like it. At some point, you get tired of this and want to change. But deep down, you actually like this. It’s dramatic, it gives you freedom while being able to hook up with him at the same time. In essence, you’re not much different than him. You don’t actually want to settle down because if you did, you’d stop replying to his hook up texts and start seeing guys who wanted to take you out on dates.

#10 You start the foreplay. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this. In fact, you should, and guys like it. But, if you always initiate sex whenever you see them, you don’t show them you want anything more. Next time, instead of sex, watch a movie, go for a coffee. Do things that aren’t based just off of sex. [Read: 15 really sweet date ideas to try]

#11 You haven’t told him you want more. You literally aren’t communicating to him that you want anything more than just hooking up. Of course, you probably don’t want to tell him because you’re scared of rejection. You think that it’s better to be silent so that it doesn’t change things. Things changed once you had feelings for him. You need to know he can’t read your mind, so talk to him about this.

[Read: Dating your one night stand: Easy or sleazy?]

So, if you wonder why do guys only want to hook up with me instead of date me, you found your answer. Now, be true to yourself and switch up your methods.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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