How to Pick Up Guys: 13 Most Successful Tricks to Take Control

We think men are the only ones able to pick someone up. It’s the 21st century, ladies! Don’t think only they hold the power, learn how to pick up guys.

how to pick up guys

When women go out, whether to a bar or nightclub, we expect men to hit on us. I’m not trying to make us sound like princesses, but we certainly got used to the idea that the men put the work in to get us. Now, I’m not saying this is bad, but what if you see a really attractive guy? What if he doesn’t approach you? This doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you, maybe he didn’t notice you or he’s too shy to approach you. This is why you learn how to pick up guys.

How to pick up guys

There have been times where I’ve seen a good-looking guy, and I spent the entire night trying to make myself approachable. I do the cliched “dance near him” routine or “stand next to him at the bar.” I’ve tried it all.

But at that time, I never thought about just going up and talking to him, it never crossed my mind. Weird, right? And who knows what would have happened, but by not making any move, I already know that having nothing happen is the obvious outcome. But why not be the one to make the first move? Not sure how to pick up guys? Well, it’s time you learned and played the field. [Read: It’s time to stop being a wallflower and learn how to talk to guys]

#1 Don’t wait. I know you’re probably waiting for the right time to come along where you can bump into him or smile at him to get his attention. What are you waiting for, honestly? You’re wasting your time.

If you want to exchange numbers and land a date, well, talk to him. So, don’t wait, just walk up to him and start a conversation. Sure, you’ll be nervous but just think about how he’s feeling. A woman just approached him and that takes balls. [Read: The guide to impressing any guy when introducing yourself]

#2 Be yourself. But really. I know this sounds like a lame tip, but it’s the most important one. Don’t try to be some mysteriously sexy woman because you’re going to come off as an idiot. You’re probably already sexy, so just be yourself. It’ll shine through. I tried to be mysterious once and when I went on the date, I completely bombed it. Learn from my failed mistakes. [Read: 30 things to talk about when you’re tongue-tied]

#3 There’s no “right place.” You can meet men at bars, you can also meet them at grocery stores, bus stops, libraries, and your local swimming pool. Point is, men are everywhere. So, don’t limit yourself to only one place in order to find a guy.

Okay, maybe a doctor’s office isn’t the best place, but who knows, maybe it is. What I’m trying to say is, whenever you see a guy that you’re into, go talk to him.

#4 Go out to different venues. This one bar or club may be your favorite place to go, but you probably know everyone in there. So, it’s time you ventured out and experienced other places. You’ll also get to meet different people than you typically see on a night out. Plus, who knows where the guy of your dreams is hanging out on a Saturday night.

#5 Don’t go out with a gang of women. There’s literally nothing more intimidating than a woman surrounded by a pack of women all staring and giggling at you while you talk to a guy. If you’re going to hit on a guy, make sure your friends aren’t glaring at you from across the room.

In these cases, it’s best to be a one-woman show. Or if you need a wing woman, bring a close friend, not the entire crew. [Read: 25 characteristics to look for in a wing woman]

#6 Be prepared. No, I don’t mean condoms, but you should always carry some in your bag, FYI. What I’m talking about is what happens if your phone dies and you wanted to take his number? What if his phone is dead too?

In your bag, carry a pen and either a napkin or piece of paper. That way, if you need to, you can give him your number/take his number the old-fashioned way.

#7 Just say hi. I know, you’re probably thinking, could it be that easy? Well, yeah. Just start the conversation by smiling and saying hi. If he’s smart, he’ll clue into the fact that you’re into him, and he’ll reply. Most of the time, you don’t need a cheesy pickup line or to trip in front of him in order to start a conversation. [Read: 15 easy conversation starters you can use on a guy you like]

#8 Ask him to dance. I know, this sounds a little high school, but it works like a charm. If you’re at the bar or near the dance floor and see a cute guy next to you, just turn to him and ask him if he wants to dance. If he says no, go to the dance floor and dance anyways. You can’t lose. Either way, you get to dance.

#9 Use your surroundings as topics. If you’re nervous and unsure of what to talk about, well, use what’s around you. Maybe you’re at a bar and the music is really good or you’re at the gym and it’s his leg day *he’s a keeper*. The point is, you have an endless source of conversation material that’s literally surrounding you.

#10 Be social. The only way to meet people, men, in particular, is if you’re social. Whether you’re at a bar, chess club, or running club, you need to socialize. You don’t have to be the social butterfly, but talking to people around you will relax the atmosphere and your own nerves, allowing you to comfortably start a conversation with a guy you’re into. [Read: 19 easy ways to more social and genuinely connect with others]

#11 Don’t overthink. You may be freaking out or overanalyzing some things before, during, and after you talk to a guy, but don’t. All this will do is get you down a path of insecurity and fear, two things that you don’t need in your life. If you overanalyze, you’ll feel overwhelmed and will pull out of the situation.

#12 Feel sexy and confident. If you feel sexy, well, he’s going to see it. Before you go figuring out how to pick up guys, you want to feel good about yourself when you approach him. If you’re nervous and timid, he’s not going to respond well. Think of it like this, when a guy approaches you, the confident ones are usually the ones that get the attention, right? Same thing here. [Read: 14 tips to revamp and reveal the new and sexy you]

#13 You’re going to get rejected. Yeah, I’m sorry, but it’s true. I know we like to think that every guy wants us, but that, my friends, is a lie. Your ego must accept that. But just because someone rejects you doesn’t mean you can’t continue on.

Do you know how many times I’ve been rejected? Okay, I wasn’t keeping count but at least a minimum ten times. But that didn’t stop me.

[Read: 20 first moves that work like a charm when you want to make a move on a guy]

Knowing how to pick up guys isn’t easy, especially since we’re used to being the ones approached. However, put the power into your own hands and go for what you want.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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