How to Flirt with a Guy Over Text: 30 Flirty Secrets Every Girl MUST Know

Want to know how to flirt with a guy over text, subtly or not, and keep him hooked and smitten? These 30 tips will take your flirty texts to a new level!

how to flirt with a guy over text

Want to text flirt with a guy without appearing too easy to get? Understanding how to flirt with a guy over text is an art, that perfectly balances keeping him interested and happy, and arousing his interest in you, all at once.

And by the time you’re done with this feature, you’ll be surprised to realize just how powerful and yet effortless it can be to text flirt and keep a guy smitten!

Flirting with a guy while texting him can be a lot of fun when you know the right way to do it. There are a few right things to do, and there are a few things that are best avoided.

Depending on what you expect from this guy or the relationship you have in mind, you can get him to fall in love with you, or get sexually attracted to you in no time!

Before you go ahead and master the art of flirting with a guy over text, if you’re unsure how to start getting flirty over text, here’s a must-know guide on how to start flirting over text with someone that can help you wet your feet into the world of flirty texting.

Why flirt over text… can’t we just “text”?

If you’re someone who’s not comfortable flirting or talking naughty while texting, you’re obviously going to feel this way. And that’s understandable.

But flirting IS texting, nothing more. You need to understand that being flirty on a text is not some whole new language you need to learn. It’s nothing more than expressing what you feel towards someone. If you like someone, you’ll naturally start flirting with them without even realizing it.

When you like someone, your texts would reflect that. Flirting over text isn’t rocket science, you don’t need to make a fool of yourself or go over the top like it’s some comedy show where the girl throws herself at a guy. All you need to do to flirt with a guy over text, is make your intentions known to him subtly, while trying to understand if he’s attracted to you and feels the same way towards you. It’s literally that simple and straightforward.

If you want to understand how to flirt with a guy without changing anything about your behavior, here’s a guide on how to flirt with a guy subtly without flirting at all that’ll help you understand the best ways to flirt with a guy, without actually flirting with him. Read it before you use these tips, especially if you think you’re convinced you’re not a “natural flirt”.

And here’s something you should never forget. Learning how to flirt with a guy over text isn’t about just about learning how to flirt, it’s about learning how to hold back and not flirt too much too! Get that balance right, and you’re a winner!

How to flirt with a guy over text

To start off, one of the most important things you need to remember is to avoid appearing like you’re the only one doing all the flirting. Make the effort, but make it look effortless. He should never assume you’re the one chasing him.

When a guy knows the girl already likes him, he would usually take a back seat and take her for granted. Always make it appear like he’s the one trying to woo you or seduce you, and you’ll see just how much fun flirting with a guy over text really can be.

[Read: How to make a man chase you – 20 very subtle ways to make him fall hard]

Should you use flirty lines instead?

One way to work up your flirt game and build it up to flirting mastery is to use the steps below. But if you’re already flirting with him, and need a few cute and sexy lines and examples to keep him hooked, head straight here and make his day with these texts!

Want to keep him hooked? Try this: What to text a guy to get his attention – 25 texts that work like magic

If you want him to think you of all day, use this: 85 very flirty questions to ask a guy and leave him thinking of you 

The things you MUST know to text flirt with a guy and love every minute of it

The next time you pick your cell phone up to get flirty with a guy, keep these tips on how to flirt with a guy over text in mind, and you’ll see how easy it can be to make a guy go crazy about you.

1. Text him first, but always less often than him

Everyone says it’s okay to text a guy first, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong in that. BUT, here’s something you need to remember – You like the guy already! So chances are, your fingers are itching to text the guy every minute. You’re never going to be in the calculative state of mind to realize just how often you’ve been texting him first.

So what’s the next best thing? Wait for his texts. You can still text him first, but it shouldn’t happen more than a couple of times a week, not at least until you know he likes you back too. You want to look available and interested, not clingy and smitten! [Read: How to text a guy first – 14 ways you can say hello and get the texting started]

2. Use memes to keep the connection alive

So, if you’re texting a guy, in all probability, you’re also following each other on Instagram and other social media. Send him a meme now and then to keep the connection alive. If you think something’s funny, share the meme in a DM. This is a great way to sate your itch when he hasn’t texted you for a day, and you’re itching to text him. Memes are casual, and it’s a great way to get a guy to text you back.

3. Use stories

You could also use your Instagram stories to keep a conversation going. A guy may not want to comment on every one of your posts because he’d just look creepy unless he’s dating you. But if it’s a story, it’s a whole different game. No one else can see the interaction but you two, so it’s a safe place for him to keep the conversation going and comment without anyone else watching. [Read: How to get a guy’s attention in Instagram without using your body]

4. Let him get to know who you are

Be unique, but be who you are. You don’t have to change your texting style to please a guy. If there’s something you do often while texting, continue doing that. If your definition of “over and out” when you’re done with a text conversation is a face blowing a heart emoji, use it. Be who you are, and never change for anyone but yourself.

5. Always ask open-ended questions

If you want to flirt with a guy over text and keep the conversation going, ask open ended questions. If he asks you what you’re doing, don’t just answer him and leave it at that. Ask him WYD in return.

Girls who don’t ask open-ended questions when they answer a text can come off as boring to any guy. And you don’t want to be that dry texter no one likes! [Read: How not to be a dry texter – Signs you’re one and the best ways to fix it ASAP]

6. Give him opportunities to flirt with you

Share a cute selfie of you trying an outfit while out shopping. Ask him for his opinion. If the outfit looks good, chances are, he’s going to compliment you for it. It’s all about subtlety. Give him an opportunity to flirt over text, and any guy will take it!

And the next time he sees you in person, and you’re wearing the same outfit, he’ll feel flattered and special because he “recommended” that outfit to you. [Read: How to take a good selfie and look cute every time you snap a photo]

7. Be fun-dramatic in your texts now and then!

“You won’t believe what happened today!” or “I love that movie you recommended, it’s awesome!” are good conversation starters that don’t have to start with a “hey” or a hello. Sometimes, especially when you two have bonded over texts already, you can just text a guy out of the blue and make a statement that’ll make him smile and think of you.

8. Tell him you remembered him

When you tell a guy you remembered him, it’s a compliment and a huge boost in ego for him. He’ll instantly feel warmer towards you and spend quite a while thinking about you too.

“I just remembered that thing you did last week and wanted to say it was funny/silly/hilarious”, “I came across the candy you love while shopping earlier today!” or something along those lines, will make him try harder to please you and win your attention. [Read: How men really fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]

9. Use emojis

Emojis are fun, emojis are flirty, and they keep things light and happy. Whoever said you shouldn’t use emojis because you’d look childish is probably just a bit too uptight. Everyone uses emojis while texting someone they’re close to, and if they didn’t, emojis wouldn’t be such a common thing!

Sometimes, all you need is a smiley face and a wink to say ‘hello’ to begin a conversation. Or a face blowing heart emoji to thank a guy for something he’s done for you. Use emojis in your texts often, and you’ll bring a smile on his face too. [Read: 17 cute, flirty and naughty emojis guys use when they like you]

10. Make him imagine you while texting you

Stepped out of the shower just as you texted him? Slip that little detail into the text. About to fall asleep after changing into your pajamas? Make sure you let him know, nonchalantly and carelessly, of course!

What you need to remember to make a guy like you over text is to make him think of you. And guys are visual creatures. If you tell him you just took a shower, he’ll involuntarily think of you having a shower!

If you’re wondering how to flirt with a guy over text, always remember this. Make him visualize you, and he’ll want you! [Read: What it means when a guy never texts you first but always replies]

11. Use his name while texting

Using his name while texting him makes the exchange of texts so much more personal and intimate. Every few texts, use his name, especially when you’re saying something complimentary or cute. He’ll start liking you a lot more. When someone calls you by your name, it feels more personal. It builds a connection beyond just words. Just don’t use it so often though that it starts to sound and look a bit creepy!

12. Share your pics

If you want to keep the text conversation flowing, and make him like you at the same time, use the power of selfies to share a few pictures with him every now and then. He could see you on social media, but when you send him your picture that no one else has seen, it’s personal and special, and he knows that.

You could also make a short video selfie where you’re addressing him by his name while shopping for groceries or just out running an errand. You can bet that he’d watch that clip at least a few times with a big grin on his face.

Most importantly, don’t share just the glamorous ones. Give him a peek into your personal and real life as well. [Read: 18 signs a man is emotionally attached to you and wants to get closer]

13. Don’t appear thirsty in your pics

Guys are not idiots! They’d know when you’re sticking your ass out just a little too much in a selfie, or placing your fingers on your boob or thigh while asking him what you think of your nails. So as discreet as you think you are, know that he probably has a clue you’re just trying to show some skin.

If you want a guy to like you, make him wish he could see more of you. But don’t be the one revealing it all for him to see, hoping you’re being very subtle. Use this guide on the 33 sexy ways to seduce a man and hook him hard if you want to seduce him, and do it in real style!

14. Ask him real and deep questions

Sometimes, it’s not all about flirty games and fun over text. If you want to bond with a guy and make him feel connected to you, you need to get him to open up to you. It could be about talking about his day, or his life. If you can make a guy reveal his vulnerability to you and be honest, it’s a very sure sign that he has a soft spot for you already.

So how do you get him to open up and get closer to you while texting him? By asking him deep questions. Try a few deep questions the next time you’re texting him, and with each new question you ask him, he’ll get closer to you, just a little more with each passing day. [Read: 150+ deep relationship questions to ask someone you like and 20 deep questions to ask a guy and read him like a book]

15. Arouse him discreetly

Don’t text naughty with a guy directly. Always make him ask the questions. Text him about what you’re doing when he asks, but text something personal or intimate like “I’m trying my new clothes on”, “just finished working out, and I’m sweating so much!” or “I just had a shower”, etc. Make him think dirty without really talking dirty. It’s the best way to arouse a guy and flirt with him without making it obvious that you’re initiating any flirty dirty texts.

16. Don’t be eager if he gets naughty

Okay, this may start to sound like a game right now, but bear with us. So you told him you sleep in the nude, and he’s trying to text naughty with you. Don’t jump right into the conversation and start talking naughty with him immediately. Yes, it’s what you want. But you need to play hard to get and tease him just a bit. Don’t make it too easy, or he’ll take you easy.

You can text him back with a laughing face emoji or a wink, and change the topic of conversation. Let him know you read his text, the message is received, and you think it’s funny. But make him want more.

When you acknowledge his naughty texts but don’t initiate anything naughty in return, he knows you’re okay with it. So he’ll keep pushing his luck in future too!

And soon enough, he’d just try harder to impress you, he’d get more bold and try to tease you sexually over time. And that’s what you want. Always remember the big picture, and go for the big wins, not the small ones. [Read: How to make a guy rock hard and horny just by sitting next to him]

17. Keep it short

Don’t explain yourself for every statement you make. Keep it mysterious. It’ll make him create his own stories in his head. If he didn’t understand something you said or wants you to reconfirm what you meant, especially when you’re being flirty, change the topic or ask him another question.

When you leave him confused at times, he’ll try harder to keep the text conversation going just to look better in your eyes. Make him work hard for your approval, and he’ll pursue you more. [Read: How to make a guy jealous and get his attention]

Additionally, it’s always best to keep text messages short to begin with. If you’re discussing some deep questions and texting each other throughout the day, it’s okay to write a paragraph of text. But save them for later, when you both have built a bond already, and there’s no judgment about long texts or double texting! [Read: 6 rules of double texting to play it cool]

18. Don’t text flirt in an obvious manner

Don’t make it appear like you’re flirting with him with text. He’ll think you’re too easy to get, and take it easy while you do all the hard work of flirting.

Always make him talk dirty by giving him opportunities to think dirty, but don’t initiate the flirting. It’ll make him fall harder for you. He’ll assume he’s getting lucky or being smooth while texting you when it’ll actually be you doing all the planning. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease without being weird]

19. Don’t text him too often

Many girls make this mistake of texting a guy good morning or good night everyday! Or they randomly text a guy with a “hey, what’s up…” and just wait for him to get the conversation going. Don’t be that girl.

Yes, you like him, and yes, you want him to like you. But texting too often could have the opposite effect. Instead of smiling when he sees your name pop up on his screen, he may sigh or roll his eyes. You NEVER want that. Always make him want more. And if that means texting him less often, or waiting for him to text you first more often, then so be it.

20. Compliment him

Now and then, be sweet to him while texting him. Guys love attention and compliments from girls. When you compliment him about how nice he is or how much of a sweetheart he is, he’ll try harder to do something nice for you. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]

21. Don’t try too hard

Guys can see through that. Saying things like “there’s a new movie in town, wanna go?” will make him lose interest in the chase, especially when he knows you like him already. Don’t ask him out for dinner or the movies unless you’re sure he likes you already.

It’s a great way to make the point obvious that you like him, but in this case, you want him to flirt with you and make a move on you. So play it safe, and just keep the flirty texts going.

22. Steer the conversation to naughty texts

Never directly, of course, or that would just look obvious and desperate. If he texts you out of the blue and asks you what you’re doing, tell him you’re watching a show or a movie on Netflix, and name a show that hints sex. You can always tell him you just came across it, and you’re not sure if it’s good because you’ve just started watching it.

Chances are, he’ll ask you about the movie later, and talk about something naughty from the movie. And bingo, you’re not initiating a naughty conversation, he is! [Read: The 15 sexiest movies on Netflix for a good turn on]

23. Don’t ask him to meet you too often

You can always ask him to catch up. But when things are going this good, should you? Instead, you could just let him do the asking.

On the other hand, if he’s just not getting the hint, or making a movie within a week or so after you both start flirting over text, you can definitely drop a hint that you’d like to meet him. [Read: How to get a guy to ask you out and make him think it’s his idea]

24. Tease him over text

It’s always fun when two people bond over texts. So how do you do that? By teasing him for something he’s doing, his daily habits, or by giving him a corny pet name *that only you use* when you text him. Use this guide on how to tease a guy and make him realize just how much he likes you to work your magic!

25. Try to create a routine of it

When you’re flirting with a guy over text, it always helps to create a routine out of it. Yes, of course, you spend all day texting each other, probably a few times every few hours. And that’s great!

But honestly, texting throughout the day can start to become tiresome very soon. You need your own time, for studying, or work, or to spend time with your friends, or even just for yourself. And when you both text each other randomly, there’s always the anxiety of when to expect the next text from him. *why hasn’t he texted me yet?!*

Text each other often, but try to create a routine, maybe a text every few hours, or maybe every evening when both of you are free, or late at night! When you have a routine, both of you can get on with your lives without constantly being stressed about when someone’s going to text next. It keeps things easy and relaxing, and removes all that unnecessary stress!

26. You don’t have to text back immediately

Here’s another text flirting tip to remember. You don’t always have to text back within five minutes after receiving a guy’s text. If you can delay your response and send a text back in an hour, and he learns to do the same, both of you can keep the conversation going all day, every day!

Of course, if there’s something that needs an immediate answer, send a text back immediately. But if it’s just regular flirty chit-chat, it’s okay to keep things moving along slowly. [Read: 60 good morning texts for him to make him wake up with a smile]

27. Switch to a phone call if you’re getting naughty

Texts are easy, they’re not intimidating, and it’s far more relaxing to text a guy instead of talking naughty with him. But for the sake of your privacy, and just to avoid any potential screenshots, always try to switch the texts to a call when things start to get steamy.

It’s alright to text a guy and make him chase you, but try to avoid talking dirty with a guy over text. At least, not until you know he’s a trustworthy guy!

28. Get naughty and be direct about it

When you’re texting a guy and flirting with him, you’d know if you’ve reached the horny point of no return – when both of you talk naughtily and exchange flirty and racy texts with each other. IF you’ve reached this point already, it’s time to bring out the big guns of sexy flirting!

Perhaps it’s time you make it clear you want to hook up with him, or are sexually interested in him. Use these 20 step-by-step dirty questions to ask a guy and you can make him come over to your place within the next 30 minutes!

29. Don’t be clingy

If, for any reason, he isn’t responding to your text on time, leave it at that. Don’t text something funny just to get him to respond back to you.

If a guy’s not responding, it’s because he’s busy or not interested in the conversation. Get his point and stop trying to be pushy. If he likes you and wants to impress you, he would text you back in a flash unless he’s busy. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never like you back]

30. Don’t drag the text conversation

Don’t let the conversation bore either of you. End it or think of something to say if the texts are losing direction or starting to get rather boring. Excuse yourself and tell him you’ll text him back later.

If you want to flirt with a guy over text, you need to keep it interesting. Once it starts to get even a wee bit boring, end the conversation and tell him that you’ll text him back later. It’ll ensure that his interest in you won’t wear off soon.

Check out these 80 cute texts for him that are guaranteed to make him smile when he sees your text!

Now that you know how to flirt with a guy over text, just give a few of these tips a try. It’ll make him fall harder and make flirting with a guy a lot easier for you!

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