Men think in a different way. You might think you’re flirting up a storm, but you’re using the flirting signs guys miss. Cue frustration! What to do next…
Have you been bringing out the flirting big guns? Pretty sure that you’re letting the apple of your eye know that you’re crushing hard, but it’s not really going the way you planned? You’d be surprised with the flirting signs guys miss!
If you feel out of ideas of how to get your guy to flirt back without saying it directly, you’re not alone. Men in particular miss out on top flirting cues. It leaves those trying to catch their attention in a cycle of frustration. Maybe you’ve been there, I know I have! [Read: How to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
According to a study by Bucknell University, men and women are programmed to flirt in completely different ways. To complicate matters, it also depends on the man himself! Perception of the fact that someone is flirting can be lost in translation. We all know that actually going up to someone and saying ‘Hey, I really like you’ isn’t something most of us want to do.
The only answer? Figure out the flirting signs guys miss. Be a little more direct. Yes, sometimes you just have to go for it, people!
11 flirting signs guy miss more than the others
Regularly use any of these flirting signs? Rethink your approach.
#1 Making the first move. This is a big one, no matter who you are. For some very strange reason, some guys seem to completely miss the point. When someone approaches them, they take it as ‘oh, someone to talk to’, or ‘oh, this is interesting.’ It often goes completely over their head that this person is flirting!
Most of us wouldn’t approach a guy if we didn’t like them. We certainly wouldn’t be bothered about having a conversation with them. It seems plucking up the courage to start a chat with him might be completely lost in the moment! [Read: How to encourage a guy to make the first move]
#2 Posture correction. It’s written in our evolutionary rules that when we want to impress somebody, be it a work figure, someone we admire, or someone we’re crushing on, we correct our posture and stand up a little straighter. We’re making ourselves feel more confident. Fake it until we make it!
Guys don’t always pick up on this subtle shift. It is certainly one of the flirting signs guys miss the most. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]
#3 Mirroring. This is subtly copying the position of the person you’re flirting with. For example, if they’re standing with their hands on their hips, you do it too. It’s a subconscious thing but quite powerful. This is a very strong flirting sign, because we have no control over it.
It’s our body’s way of shouting, ‘hey you, I like you!’ Again, it’s also about confidence and appearing more confident than you are actually feeling in the moment.
#4 Fidgeting. Do you ever fidget when you’re talking to someone you like? You’re trying to do your very best to flirt up a storm without embarrassing yourself? Perhaps you play with your hair, tap your hands together, brush imaginary hairs from your clothing, pick your nails, or bite your lip.
These are all signs that someone is feeling nervous energy. That nervous energy is because you’re flirting! But guys miss this sign, so all that pent up energy is going to waste.
#5 Making him jealous. Guys are pretty direct overall. They don’t like signs and subtle hints. They like to be told what is going on, what is expected of them and what is going on. One of the flirting signs that guys miss in a big way is when someone who likes them tries to make them jealous, basically to get their attention.
This is usually by flirting with someone else. It’s funny how guys miss out on the signs that someone is flirting with them. They’re pretty good at noticing when someone is flirting with another person!
The problem with this tactic is that it could backfire. He could end up just being mad and not realizing that you’re doing it for another reason. Approach with caution here! [Read: All the sneakiest ways to get a guy to ask you out in no time]
#6 Social media overload. While social media has some bad things, it’s made flirting a million times easier for less confident types like me! You can hide behind your keyboard and be a lot more upfront than you would be in person.
The problem is, this is another of those flirting signs guys miss. You might think that liking his pictures, commenting on funny remarks, and going out of your way to post sexy selfies of yourself is flirting. He thinks you’re just social media active. All that effort gone to waste!
#7 Dressing to impress. I’m not advocating anyone dressing for someone else. Dress to impress yourself and no one else. Most of us dress in a certain way when we’re trying to flirt. Perhaps you wear that outfit they’ve complimented on before, or you wear a color you know suits your eyes. You go to all that effort, basically to impress the one you’re crushing on, and it goes completely over their head! Annoying, right? At least you look good though!
#8 Suddenly liking the things he likes. Developing a deep interest in something that he likes is a big sign that you’re trying to get his attention and impress. It’s something to talk about, an ‘in’, a way to flirt in a personal manner. Does he get it? No. He misses the point entirely. He thinks that you’re genuinely into this hobby all of a sudden. Yet more frustration! [Read: How to get guys to like you without compromising who you are]
#9 Compliments. This is a borderline one, but it is another one of those flirting signs guys miss at first. If you give out compliments here and there, he misses the point. Don’t go overboard with compliments! He might think you’re being strange. If you hit the sweet spot in the middle, he might get it. It depends on where his attention is at.
With the right middle ground, a well placed compliment can make a guy feel like he’s on top of the word. Persevere with this one!
#10 Please help me! Bless him, he has a heart of gold. When you ask for help, he thinks you genuinely need a helping hand with a task that you just can’t do alone. What he misses is that you’re doing it so you can flirt a little more and spend time with him! Yes, this is one of the most frustrating flirting signs guys miss! [Read: Subtle flirting moves to bring them closer with less effort]
#11 General mouth attention. When flirting, we focus on our mouths without realizing it. We lick our lips, bite our lips, pout, and basically try and get attention to that area. Why? Because we use our mouths for kissing and that’s what this flirting is supposed to build up to! While it works some of the time, getting him to focus on your mouth is sometimes one of the flirting signs guys miss too. Less is more and far more powerful!
[Read: Understanding the obvious gender differences in communication]
Grabbing a guy’s attention isn’t as easy as you might think. While we shouldn’t generalize and assume that all guys miss out on certain cues, these 11 flirting signs guys miss in general are commonplace!