Home  >  Sensual Tease  >  Sizzle

You’ve Been Making Love to Your Man All Wrong!

There’s a big difference between making love and screwing. How do you slow down and really make love? We’ve got the techniques and positions you need.


You’ve honed your skills, mastered your moans, and crowned yourself Queen of the Bedroom when it comes to getting both you and your man’s rocks off while you’re screwing, but what about making love?

There is a huge difference between the two forms of sex. Fast, furious, and passionate sex is often referred to by curse words or as “screwing” or “banging” your partner. While everyone enjoys a good, hard session every once in a while, there’s something primal about these actions that make it feel like you are doing this “to” your partner instead of “with” them.

How to make love to your man

Making love, however, involves more than just *primal* urges for each other. Lovemaking involves real intimacy, and a true knowledge of your partner. So how do you do it?

#1 Make contact. This may seem like a no-brainer. Sex = contact, right? Instead of diving straight for his penis, however, try first making contact above the waist with your man before you get down to business. Believe it or not, men like to be romanced a little sometimes, too.

The next time you’re planning on getting down, try a little caressing first. Grab the back of his hair sensually as you kiss, lick down his neck, bite his shoulders sensually, caress his thighs, cup his testicles, and tantalize him by moving his hands around your body first. You’ll want to make a huge, personal build-up before you get down to business.

#2 Slow it down. Making love is about taking your time to enjoy each other’s bodies, so slow it down and keep it slow right until the end. Make your session of love last longer than the standard 10 minutes. We promise, you’ll love it. How do you get your guy to last this long? Slow it down.

Foreplay shouldn’t be a quick stroke with your hand or a cringe-worthy, sloppy porn BJ. You want this session to be about passion and intimacy. Stroke him gently with your hand, grab his thighs and bum, stroke down his arm, and make sure you’re not pounding away when you finally get to the action. [Read: 8 naughty little moves your guy wishes you’d do]

#3 Engage in a lot of foreplay. As if you wouldn’t already, right? This time when you engage in foreplay, don’t rush it! Kiss for a half an hour, groping and caressing each other like you did when you were teenagers. Take your time if you’re going down on him to lick and kiss his penis. Don’t be sloppy or do those horrific gagging noises. Now isn’t the time to do your porn-routine, it’s a time to show him you are enjoying his body. [Read: 9 hottest blowjob secrets to drive him wild]

#4 Kiss him. Kissing should always be a huge part of foreplay, but in this instance, we mean during the act. Movies tend to make kissing during sex look easier than it actually is, especially if the two of you have very different heights. Whenever possible, make sure you are kissing each other while you’re making love to keep that intimacy rolling. Kissing someone you love can actually quell your anxiety and help you feel more connected, and did we mention it builds romance? [Read: 15 foolproof ways to be a great kisser]

#5 Use proper volume. Men love a vocal woman in the bedroom, and while screaming his name and moaning at the top of your lungs is great for an occasional treat, it’s not the volume you’d want for making love to your man. Put your sexy shouting and cursing on the back-burner for tonight, and focus on noises that build intimacy. Soft moans and heavy breathing are much sexier when making slow, sweet love.

#6 Communicate, and take notes. It might seem sexier to “wing it” when it comes to making love, but sometimes, the best teller of truth is communication. There may be some things you consider romantic that your partner does not. Be sure to pay attention to his reactions so you know if you’re pleasing him. For example, going slow may be more romantic, but when he’s close, is it going to get him off?  If not, you may want to alter your speed or pressure as he gets closer to his payoff.

The best sex positions for making love

So how do you get down and dirty while keeping it sweet and slow? Here’s some great positions for romantic sex with your man.

#1 Missionary. While most variations of missionary will work for romantic sex, him putting your legs up beside your face probably isn’t one of them. Stick to positions that leave you open for great passionate kissing or, instead of the regular in-and-out guy on top action, assume the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) position. This is where he aligns his pelvis with yours and rocks against your clitoris for an intense and intimate orgasm.

#2 Entering from behind. You might be thinking doggy-style probably isn’t the most romantic way to go, and you’d be right. However, try laying on your stomach and letting your guy enter you from behind. You can stimulate yourself with a free hand, or simply enjoy the ride. This position is great for body-to-body interactions, and there’s nothing safer or more intimate than the feeling of your guy’s arms enveloping you while you make love.

#3 Spooning. Lie in front of your man, both facing the same direction, and have him enter you from behind. This is a great position for intimacy, as your bodies are pressed together, with your hands free to roam. Caress his side and have him stimulate your clitoris while giving you some slow, sensual lovin’. This position also has great kissing potential.

#4 Girl on top. Much like the male missionary position, the female taking the reins on top can be utterly perfect for making love. The stipulation? Don’t bounce. This isn’t a porno, and you’re not some horny teenager. Instead of doing those very painful bouncing squats, try leaning forward to kiss your guy and grinding him slow and hard. This position is both intimate and very satisfying. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]

#5 The lotus position. This may seem impossible at first, but with a little practice, you’ll have this position down in no time. Have your man cross his legs as best as he can, and plop yourself down on top of his penis while wrapping your legs around his waist. This position is great for slow sex with plenty of kissing.

[Read: 3 sexy and easy ways to get what you want in bed]

Remember, the best teaching tool between you and your man is practice. Keep communication open and figure out his wants and needs when it comes to making love. You may find he’s more into the slow session than you might think.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Waverly Smith
Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that people...
Follow Waverly on