Blowjobs, sex positions, and enthusiasm… is that what makes a girl good in bed? That’s a good start, but there is a lot more to the art of sexuality too.
Before anything else, what makes a girl good in bed is subjective. Men are human beings. They’re all unique in their own ways. Not everyone likes blowjobs or large breasts, for example. And that’s the beautiful part about attraction and sex: everyone has their own preferences.
So before we go on, it’s important to understand that, at the end of the day, what makes a girl good in bed isn’t so cut and dry. But we will tell you the general preferences of what makes a girl a bomb in the bed.
What makes a girl good in bed? The little things to know
This seems to be a question many people want the answer to – a woman or a man! Now from what the movies and popular culture tell us, men are looking for some blonde bombshell with giant boobs that only exist in porn films.
But in reality, that’s not what men want, which is great news for everyone. Those are unrealistic beauty standards that frankly are non-existent.
[Read: What do guys like in bed? 32 things they want and absolutely lust after]
When people are young, they don’t know much about sex, and what they do know is sometimes wrong.
A lot of women think men are looking for extremes, for girls who would deep throat like they haven’t eaten for days. Even though they don’t know what any of it means or even how to do it, many have that expectation.
But the reality is much different. Let’s find out what makes a girl good in bed in the real world.
1. Enthusiasm
No one wants to have sex with someone who seems like she’s not so into the whole sex thing. Behaving like a prude could be a turn-on if you’re playing games in bed, but if you’re behaving like you’re repulsed by the experience, no guy would enjoy that!
A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience. She’s into giving the guy a blowjob, comfortable talking about her sexual desires, or simply showing excitement to have sex with the guy. [Read: 16 sex moves to surprise your boyfriend and get him hard and horny]
2. Communication
Sex is all about communication; without it, it’s going to be bad sex. You don’t need to have a three-hour-long conversation about sex, but you need to be on the same page.
What feels good for you, what feels good for him. If you both don’t know what pleasures each other, there’s going to be a big problem.
3. There’s genuine chemistry
Sex is all about chemistry. The best sex you’ll have is with someone you’re vibing with.
He’s really into you; you’re really into him, and bam! That’s where the magic happens. If there’s not genuine chemistry, and you’re both doing it just because, expect to have bad sex. It’s as simple as that. [Read: 20 signs of strong sexual tension to know you make each other horny]
4. She’s got self-confidence
If you’re wondering what makes a girl good in bed, know that a woman who’s good in bed is a woman who is confident about herself. Listen, we all have our insecurities, but when you’re in the moment, let go and enjoy it.
Self-confidence is sexy, considering how much pressure women are put under. It hinders the experience, making them feel less present. A little bit of confidence can go a long way.
5. Openness
This doesn’t mean you need to tell your partner every single sexual experience you’ve had, that’s not what being open is about. What we’re talking about is being open about your sexual desires, what feels good for you. You need to know or else how can you enjoy yourself in bed?
6. She likes taking charge
Many women want to take charge, but they’re scared. And this is a common complaint from men; they want a woman who takes charge.
Listen, though a girl who can take charge is good in bed, this doesn’t mean a girl who doesn’t is bad. If you’re the guy, you can also help her initiate sex when she wants it. [Read: 16 seductive moves to initiate sex and take the lead in bed]
7. Cuddle sessions
Though many men say they don’t like cuddling, the truth is they’re lying. Okay, not all of them, but many men don’t want to look weak, so, they’ll say they don’t enjoy cuddling. But they’re human!
People love physical contact. If a girl cuddles after sex, it’s a way to bond and unwind from the experience. Aftercare is important. [Read: All the cuddling positions you need to be a loving cuddler]
8. Knows how to have fun
Sex isn’t supposed to be a serious event. There can be times where sex is intense and aggressive, for example. But if you’re not having fun and laughing during sex, then what’s the point? A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience and having fun.
9. No judging
No one wants to be open with someone else about their sexual fantasies and then be judged for it. It doesn’t mean you have to engage in all the activities you and your partner fantasize about, but a girl who’s good in bed will not make a guy feel bad for his sexual desires. And that makes a great partner.
10. She’s vocal
Silence can really be a buzzkill. It doesn’t mean you need to be yelling and screaming off the top of your lungs.
When you feel comfortable expressing yourself during sex, you’ll enjoy the experience more, and that’ll make any guy feel great as well. [Read: How to moan and look and sound sexy AF while making out]
11. She’s flirtatious
When someone is sexually attracted to another, they flirt. Flirting is designed to build up sexual tension between two people. Women aren’t the only ones who want to feel desired; men, want to feel desired too.
If you’re flirtatious, you’re sending off signs that you’re into the guy. If this is done before sex, well, it’ll create even more sexual tension.
12. She shows him what she likes
Men are very visual creatures. So, showing him what you like makes a girl good in bed. Don’t be afraid to move his hands, position your body the way you like it, and use words and nonverbals to make sure he is doing what you like.
You could even lay on the bed and touch yourself while you tell him to look but not touch. That’s a good way to show him what you like. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]
13. Eye contact
A guy wants to see how you are feeling and reacting when you are getting it on. They look into your eyes to get a sense of how much you are enjoying it.
Plus, eye contact is also a form of emotional connection – and yes, guys like that too. The more you can lose yourself in the moment and bask in the pleasure he is giving you, the better lover you are.
14. She should initiate sometimes
Sure, we think of males as the dominant sex. But sometimes they don’t want to be. There are times when a man wants you to initiate sex so he doesn’t have to. It makes him feel wanted.
They like to be seduced just like we do. So, initiating sex sends him the message that you want him, and that boosts his confidence level. Even better, ask him how he would like you to initiate it and then do it.
15. She should actively participate
Men don’t like having sex with a “dead fish.” In other words, they don’t just want you to lay there like a log and not move as he gets his rocks off. They like a girl who actively participates.
What makes a girl good in bed is doing things like thrusting your hips in sync with his thrusts, grinding your hips, and flexing your muscles. You can also squeeze his arms and pull his body closer to yours, or use your lips to explore his body. All of these things will let him know you are enjoying yourself.
16. She should try different positions
Guys want variety. So, if you’re with a man and you only want to do the missionary position, he’s going to get bored. He will crave something different. [Read: Reverse missionary – how to drive your lover wild in bed]
This doesn’t mean you should completely leave your comfort zone, but moving your body into different positions allows him to have an exciting time with yourself in bed. [Read: The 10 best sex positions for sex that’ll make any guy think you’re a complete pro in bed!]
17. She should be spontaneous
It’s so easy to fall into a routine or a rut when you are in a relationship. That’s why spontaneity is hot for men. You should try something that he is not expecting, like bringing in a new toy or prop.
Go to a sex toy shop and see what fun things you can buy to surprise him in bed. Or attack him when you are out in public, but out of sight of other people *you don’t want to get arrested!*.
18. She should dominate sometimes
Anyone who knows anything about BDSM knows that there is a dynamic called the dominant and the submissive.
Now, we’re not suggesting you go that far, but sometimes a guy likes to be dominated in bed. They are probably used to doing it themselves, so this is a refreshing change of pace for a lot of them. [Read: How to dominate a man in bed – 14 ways to be a dominatrix goddess]
You should tell him to follow your directions in bed and if he disobeys you, he’ll be “punished.” Act like his boss and tell him how you want him to touch you. Tell him what to say, and direct everything he does with you. It’s fun to watch him and let him know that you’re in control.
19. Get a little kinky
Sure, dominating a guy in bed is a little kinky, but why not try to do a little more than that? Get out of your comfort zones and try something out of the ordinary.
If you’re in a relationship, then you will want to have a discussion about it first. Talk about your boundaries and what you both want. Ask him what he considered taboo when it comes to sex and what he is willing to try.
You could try something simple like pulling out a blindfold out of the blue without warning him. This isn’t too crazy, and it shows that you are putting thought into making your love life a bit spicier. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas you should try at least once in your lifetime]
20. Talk about your fantasies
Sometimes guys are afraid to talk about their fantasies because it can make them feel vulnerable. But fantasies can also be hot. Encourage him to tell you all about what he would like to do and tell him that you’ll try your best to fulfill them if you can.
If he’s hesitant to talk about it at first, then you should tell him what you like. This makes it more comfortable for him to talk and will create more of a safe space. You might even discover that you have some fantasies in common, and that would be an easier way to turn them into a reality. [Read: Male sexual fantasies – 16 top dirty desires every guy has in mind]
21. Love your body
You might be self-conscious about your body, but trust us, if he’s having sex with you, then he likes it. Guys don’t like it when girls aren’t confident about how they look.
So, you need to act confident when you are in bed. It’s a turn-on for guys – even more so than if you had a supermodel body. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
22. Get primal
Acting like an “animal” in bed can be really hot for both of you. In other words, if you just throw yourself on the bed and scream, “take me!” and beg him to rip off your clothes immediately, then he will be psyched.
He will be primed and ready for real and raw sex with you. You could even let him tear your shirt off in the intensely passionate moment. [Read: How to have rough sex and 15 dirty moves to have the wildest time ever]
23. Sometimes you should do all the work
Not only are there occasions when guys like to just sit back and be pleasured. Lead him into the bedroom, and push him on the bed.
Before he even takes his clothes off, take all yours off and blindfold him with one of your pieces of clothing. Then take that time to give him the best blowjob he’s ever had. You are letting him just sit back and enjoy the ride while you do all the work.
Sometimes, knowing what makes a girl good in bed isn’t just about the things she does in bed, but her enthusiasm for sex and her interest in getting naughty with her man. So if you want to seduce a guy and leave him aroused 24/7, make sure you let him know you enjoy pleasuring and being pleasured by him. [Read: How to give good head – The biggest guide and 50+ blowjob secrets]
As long as you do that, any guy would feel like the luckiest guy in the world to date you or sleep with you!
[Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce any man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]
And here you thought what makes a girl good in bed is one who does all these crazy things. But in reality, it’s about being genuine and enjoying the sexual experience with her man.