Making love and having sex isn’t the same thing. Anyone can have sex, but if you see the signs he is making love to you, it points to something deeper.
Let’s be honest for a second. Literally, anyone can have sex. However, not everyone can or wants to make love to someone else. If you want to know the signs he is making love to you, first you must understand the differences between making love and having sex. [Read: Does it matter if you’re making love or having sex?]
What’s the Difference Between Making Love and Having Sex
Making love involves intimacy. Having sex, well, you don’t need a high level of emotional connection to get the job done. Sex is just sex. There’s an attraction between people and sexual tension, and you don’t need to know much about your partner to feel that. But making love isn’t the same.
When you’re sexually attracted to a guy or a girl, you can’t wait to undress them, in your mind and in person. Of course, you can also be intensely attracted to them on an emotional level too, and that’s when you make love to them. This involves something deeper than just sex.
When you have sex with someone, it’s passionate and animalistic, even with the best of partners. But when you make love to them, it’s more loving, meaningful and deeper. And before you know it, you’d feel an intense connection developing.
Want to know more? Read on, and you’ll find out everything there is to know about the differences between having sex with someone and making love to them. It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering about the signs a man is making love to you, or the signs a woman is making love to you – when you make love, both of you feel the same strong emotions inside on some level.
The Strongest Signs He Is Making Love to You
To make love with someone, there’s a deeper connection and more intimacy. You may be unsure of what’s happening in your relationship if it’s a new relationship because the two look and feel similar.
Maybe you haven’t gotten to the place where you can speak more openly about the relationship and see how your partner’s feeling. If you’re not at that point, but you feel comfortable talking about it, use these signs to tell the difference and guide you through your feelings.
Let’s get to the truth of lovemaking.
1. He Enjoys Kissing You
With lovemaking, there’s a LOT of kissing involved. Don’t underestimate kissing; it’s very intimate and sensual. If there’s no kissing, there’s no lovemaking. Bottom line. [Read: 29 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone passionately & deeply]
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that making love is all about eye contact. If he’s avoiding eye contact, he may be enjoying himself, and it’s just great sex.
If he wants to make love with you, he’ll make sure you see he’s looking into your eyes. He wants you to make sure you’re enjoying the experience just as much as he is. He’d want to stare into your eyes, and he wants you to stare deeply into his.
3. He Kisses You Beyond Your Lips
When you have sex with someone, you probably kiss them on the lips. You feel passionate, and you may even kiss with tongue. But when a guy makes love to a woman, he kisses you not just passionately, but also tenderly. He’d plant his kisses, not just on your lips, but on your cheeks, your forehead, your neck, and literally every part he can lay his lips on. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes kissing you & is turned on while kissing]
4. He Hugs You While Making Love
He’s not grabbing your boobs or kneading it like dough. He’s not scratching his nails on your back like he wants to devour you. You’d do that when you’re madly aroused and in a sexual frenzy. One of the signs he is making love to you is how he holds you when he has sex with you.
Does he cuddle you and hug you passionately while having sex? He doesn’t want to f*ck you, he wants to merge into you and become one, and that’s definitely love.
5. Heavy on the Foreplay
Lovemaking isn’t just sex. Making love is all about the foreplay; that’s where the magic really happens. If he really wants to make love with you, he’ll be taking his time through foreplay and exploring every inch of your body because he knows if you’re going to orgasm, it’s all about the foreplay. [Read: Passionate lovemaking: 23 secrets & ways to make sex lustful & steamy]
6. He Wants to Please You
Lovemaking isn’t just about him ejaculating; it’s about the two of you experiencing pleasure. One of the big signs he is making love to you is that he’ll focus on making sure you receive pleasure as well. He wants his partner to be satisfied, so he’ll put in the extra effort.
7. What are the Usual Positions?
If he only has sex with you doggy-style, odds are, you aren’t making love. The positions he uses when making love are important. Lovemaking is about eye contact and intensity. Of course, if the sex makes its way into doggy-style, that’s fine. But usually, lovemaking is done in missionary or cowgirl – face to face positions. [Read: Most intimate sex positions & tips to feel romantic while making love]
8. He Doesn’t Rush Through It
One of the signs of making love is slow and sensual sex. Of course, great sex can be fast-paced too, but usually, it’s the slow buildup to sex that counts. He’s not going to rush through the experience; he’ll want to take it nice and slow.
If he wants to make love with you, he’ll want to make it last as long as possible. He won’t rush through the date, the sexual tension, or the foreplay. He’ll want to enjoy every single step, right from dinner with you, to everything after.
9. He Focuses on You
When a man makes love to a woman, he’s not trying just to satisfy himself. More than anything else, he wants to pleasure her and satisfy her. So if your guy is going out of his way to ensure you’re really satisfied in bed, he’s not just doing all that to show off.
He’s doing that because he’s making love to you, and he wants you to love all the things he does for you in bed. [Read: How to pleasure a woman: 19 subtle things every girl craves in bed]
10. He’s Honest With You
If a man really wants to be with someone or make love with someone, they’re honest. He’s not interested in playing games with you; he wants to be himself around you, which is an important sign.
It’s easy to play games and make you fall hard for him. But when a man loves you and wants to make love to you, he doesn’t rely on your confusion, he makes you feel secure and loved, especially while making love. [Read: 45 facts about love & psychological secrets to decode how the mind works]
11. He Wants to Know What You Like
Honestly, if a guy just wants to have sex with you, he’ll just have sex with you. He’s not going to care about the little details that give you more pleasure. But one of the signs a man wants to make love to you is if he wants to know every little detail, and every little sexual quirk of yours. He wants nothing more than to please you.
12. He Caresses You
When a man makes love to a woman, he feels an intense sexual attraction, but he also experiences a tender and heartfelt love that can’t be expressed through words. You may find that plays with your hair, he runs his fingers through it, and he strokes it along the length, gently and lovingly as he penetrates you and makes love to you. [Read: What men like in bed: 53 things they want, desire & absolutely lust after!]
13. You Feel More Vulnerable
Making love to someone means you’re letting someone in *not physically speaking*. You’re opening yourself up to this person and giving yourself to them. And if you want to make love with someone, this is something you must do.
14. The Sex is Slow and Passionate
Okay, we don’t mean just slow, we mean, super slow! Like one of those passionate slow motion movie makeout scenes! He penetrates harder and deeper, but at the same time he’s more passionate and loving. If a guy just wants to have sex, he’d be faster and focus more on his own pleasure. But when he’s making love, he’s slow, tender, and goes deeper too. [Read: Deep penetration: 21 mistakes, sexy tips & secrets that make it SO good!]
15. You Don’t Necessarily Always Have Sex
When you hang out with each other, it doesn’t necessarily end up with sex. But, you’re hanging out with him, there’s not this expectation for sex to happen. This means, though he enjoys sex, he also enjoys spending time with you and getting to know you. as much as he love making love to you, he also enjoys spending time and learning more about you.
16. How Do You Feel?
When you’re around him, you don’t feel this pressure to impress him, nor do you feel insecure. There’s a feeling of less pressure, and you feel more comfortable with your sexual preferences and share them with him. [Read: Happy sex life: What a good sex life should look like in real life]
17. There’s Not So Much Dirty Talk
People who are into you can still talk dirty, but that’s usually kept for sex. If a guy is having sex with you, he’d talk dirty and try to arouse you. Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking dirty. But it’s not the same as making love. When you’re making love, it’s more about moaning and gasping, than talking! [Read: Sex sounds: How to moan and look & sound sexy AF while making out]
18. He Tells You Something Affectionate
One of the signs he’s making love to you and not just having sex with you is the kind of words he uses when he has sex with you.
During foreplay, is he into sweet talk? While he’s exploring your body, is he giving you sensual and sweet compliments, and he’s not looking to be mean or insult you? Does he compliment you while having sex? Or the best one ever, does he tell you he loves you while looking at you with affection? You know he’s making love!
19. How Does He End It?
If he’s having sex with you passionately, he’d end it panting and gasping, and probably writhing in pleasure. But if he’s making love to you, you’d see that just as he orgasms, he tries to cling closer to you and wrap you in his arms tighter.
He wants to experience his orgasm together, not as a man who’s just had his share of pleasure, but as someone who’s in the loving embrace of the woman he’s in love with. [Read: When a man falls in love: How men fall in love & the 7 stages]
20. You Have After-sex Cuddles
Some people aren’t into after-sex cuddles; some people need some space, which doesn’t mean they’re not into you. But one of the signs he is making love to you is if he loves to cuddle with you after sex and wants to hold you tight in his arms. [Read: After sex: 11 post-sex rules and rituals everyone HAS to follow]
21. You Feel a Mental Connection
Making love means there’s a mental connection between you two. You’re connected with him, and when you have sex with him, you feel loved and connected. You’re the only person who can know if you have those feelings or not.
22. You Feel Loved
When you make love to a guy who’s making love to you, sex doesn’t just feel like good sex. You don’t feel used, instead you feel great, beautiful, radiant, and you feel loved. Something inside you blooms, and you realize that for that moment when you two made love, nothing else mattered to this man than you, and pleasuring you. [Read: 87 secrets to be a really good girlfriend & leave him happily addicted to you!]
The Seriously Big Signs He’s Passionately Making Love to You
You now know all the signs a guy is making love to you, and how to recognize the moments when a guy is just having sex with you. But want to go one step further to know if a guy is madly smitten by you, and completely in love with you and your body? Well, here they are!
23. He Goes Down on You
Of course, a guy could go down on you even if he’s madly sexually attracted to you. But when a man does all of the above signs he’s making love to you AND he goes down on you, it’s a clear sign nothing matters to him as much as pleasing you and satisfying you in bed. Why would a guy be such a romantic and a giver unless he totally loves making love to you? [Read: 25 hot ways to make a guy go down on you & signs to tell if he likes it]
24. He Calls You by Your Name
It’s true that this may make you feel a bit awkward if you two are in a long term relationship. But in every other instance, if a man is having sex with you and calls you out by your name as he penetrates you, he’s not enjoying having sex with a “babe” or a “sexy hottie”, he’s enjoying making love to YOU. [Read: 46 sexy secrets to please & pleasure a man in bed & leave him aroused 24/7]
25. He Kisses You All Over
Okay, so he kisses your lips, and your forehead, and other erogenous zones. But does he go beyond that? Does he leave a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your navel? Does he flip you around and kiss your back? Or does he gently grab your feet and kiss your toes and suck it? He’s not just making love to you, he’s worshipping you sexually! [Read: 39 signs a man is emotionally attached to you & ready to get closer]
26. He Seems Intoxicated by You
This doesn’t usually happen unless a man is totally smitten, in love and crazy about you. While having sex with him, do you feel like a passionate beast has risen from within him? Does he seem to devour you with a passion that’s straight out of a romantic book? He’s making love to you, alright!
27. He Buries Himself Into You
He smells you, he licks you, he buries his head in your breasts. It’s like he can’t get enough of you, even when he’s inside of you. He’s not just making love to you, he feels like the luckiest guy in the world too.
28. He Wants to Try New Things With You
It’s not that he wants to work his way through the Kama Sutra, it’s that he wants to share the journey with you. He wants to try everything he can with you because he can’t get enough of you, both physically and emotionally. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom & leave you horny 24/7]
29. He’s Patient With You, And You Never Feel Rushed
When it’s purely sex, it’s selfish. All too often a guy will focus on his own needs and forget yours. However, one of the signs he’s making love to you is that he’s patient and he doesn’t mind taking his sweet time to get you right where you need to be.
30. He Pays Attention to Every Bit of Your Body
He’s not just down for the usual spots, he wants to kiss and caress every single bit of you, even the bits that you might try and hide away from him. He doesn’t care! He can’t get enough of you and he adores all of you equally.
31. He Shares His Fantasies With You
People don’t tend to go around talking about their fantasies without having built up a connection first. You need to trust the person you’re with to talk about these types of things. So, if he’s talking to you about his fantasies and encouraging you to share yours, it’s one of the signs he’s making love to you! [Read: 20 arousing sex fantasies that you seriously need to try at least once]
32. He Asks You What You Want Him to Do
He wants to please you and he wants you to enjoy it just as much as him. For that reason, he’ll ask you what you want him to do, what feels good, and where to move to next. Don’t be afraid to tell him!
33. He Has No Problems Stopping or Slowing Down If You Ask Him To
Of course, any guy with a shred of decency should stop if you ask him to, slow down, or change things a little to make you more comfortable, however, one of the signs he’s making love to you is that he’s receptive to you, he’s listening and he wants you to be happy in the moment.
If you tell him to slow down, he instantly does so. If you tell him to stop, he does so and doesn’t question it or complain. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship & ways to fix a lack of it]
34. You Can Laugh Together, Even in Bed
While laughing in the middle of the act can be a little off-putting, sometimes it relieves the tension and makes things more enjoyable. When it’s just sex, you probably aren’t going to feel comfortable enough to share a joke or laugh at something embarrassing that just happened.
However, when you’re closer, you’ll find it easier to laugh together, smile, and make light of things that you would otherwise cringe about.
[Read: 35 fun ways to keep a guy hooked & happy in a relationship with you]
There’s a huge difference between sex and making love. And now, you know the signs he’s making love to you. So, is he making love with you?
