Want to learn the art of giving an erotic massage? As one half of a couple, knowing how to give a sensual massage to your partner is an important skill!
A massage is just like lovemaking, or even like love. It’s a moment in time that binds two people in a bond that’s blissful and perfect. That is why you need to know sensual massage techniques.
When you’re experiencing a perfect massage, time could fly, and yet, you’d never want those hands to move away.
You’d just want to lie there, feeling the overpowering sense of giddy abandonment taking over you completely. [Read: The five senses of sex and how it can make lovemaking better]
Sensual massage techniques can bring both of you together, even though only one person experiences the pleasure of the perfect pressure.
As long as you know how to perfect the art of a good sensual massage, you’d be able to work wonders and win the gratitude of your lover.
Benefits of a sensual massage
Massages feel amazing, but that’s not the only benefit of them. There are a lot of other reasons you and your partner should try a sensual massage. Here are some major advantages. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 naughty and sexy ways]
1. Relaxes and soothes your muscles
This is the most obvious benefit of a sensual massage. People use their muscles all day every day with normal activities. And for a lot of us, we can get sore from time to time because of the strain on the muscles. So, massage will help loosen and relax your muscles.
2. Helps eliminate stress
Everyone has stress in their lives, and no one likes it. So, sensual massages help release the tension of stress and bring a calming effect on your body. They can also help your mind get rid of stress by relaxing your mind and body.
3. Improves sleep quality
This is a very important benefit of a sensual massage. A lot of people are sleep-deprived and don’t get a good night’s sleep.
Because it puts your muscles and joints at ease, it can act as a sleeper-booster and enhance your body’s natural ability to get a more restful sleep. [Read: How to give a good sensual massage and work your magic]
4. Improves your mood
If you have had a bad day, a sensual massage can help you get into a better mood. Mindfulness and relaxation are also achieved which makes people naturally feel happier. It will make you feel better mentally and physically and gives you a chance to focus on your needs instead of your worries and concerns.
5. Enhances your sex life
Sensual massage helps create a gentle stirring up of your emotions, arouses your senses, lubricates your muscles, and puts you into a state of sexual satisfaction. It helps you create an intimate dynamic between you and your partner which makes you desire sex more.
Massage basics
Before you try giving your partner a sensual massage, there are some basics that you should know first. So, let’s dive into them to get you started. [Read: Massage therapist confessions – Bizarre massage stories]
1. Get an education
There are many self-help guides out there, on a huge number of subjects, and massage is certainly no exception. Youtube it or, if you’re feeling a little more adventurous, try some slightly more risqué sites.
You will be able to find advice on how to give Tantric massage, the grand-daddy of sensual finger play techniques, and a definite plus on the road to administering an orgasm.
2. Talking while massaging
Try to reduce any verbal communication while massaging your partner. And even if you need to ask your partner something, whisper or speak very softly so you’re not breaking the connection of energies both of you are building up through the massage. [Read: Tantric massage and the beginners guide to awaken your deeper sexuality]
A sensual massage is all about nonverbal communication and the exchange of energies so both of you can feel more loved and connected. Don’t disturb the bond by laughing, talking loudly, or by getting distracted.
3. Loosening the knots
Knots are tight muscles that can build up with stress or bad posture. While massaging your partner around knots, work with your partner and listen to them through the moans and the grunts.
Apply pressure around the knots when you feel like they need more, and reduce it where the body seems soft and supple. You’ll learn with time. But always remember that it’s better to start the massage by applying less pressure. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a really sexy relationship]
4. Massage sex
You don’t need to end a massage with sex all the time. Sometimes, just massage your lover until they’re blissfully lazy or too drowsy to move. By avoiding sex, your partner can just relax without having to be on guard and ready for sex after the massage.
And likewise, make it clear to your partner that you don’t want to be massaged back on the same day, because they may feel obligated to return the favor for you, and that’ll ruin the relaxing sensation flowing through your lover.
If both of you feel like having sex after a sensual massage, then don’t hold back. But if your partner doesn’t initiate it, don’t initiate it either. A sensual massage doesn’t always have to end in sex, as long as you sexually satisfy your lover. [Read: The real secret behind how size actually matters to women]
And the best part here is if you do connect with your lover emotionally while massaging them, you’d feel rejuvenated and relaxed as well with these sensual massage techniques!
Know your erogenous zones
Since doing a sensual massage technique is no ordinary massage, you are going to have to get to know the erogenous zones so you can touch your partner in all the right spots.
1. Tertiary erogenous zones
The lower erogenous zone stage is the first one you move on to after the initial relaxation stage. The important point to remember in this and the following two points is that you can target as many as you wish and avoid as many as you wish.
Not all erogenous zones are erogenous to all people. In the tertiary list, for example, although some people go crazy over having their feet and armpits touched, some are quite repulsed by the idea.
The tertiary erogenous zone stage should make up about 40% of the overall massage. [Not sure how to start? Check out: Secret erogenous zones to drive men wild or Top 10 female erogenous zones]
Typical tertiary zones: neck, thighs, feet, armpits, back, breasts, and the back of the knees.
2. Secondary erogenous zones
It’s time to raise the bar and get pulses racing. The secondary erogenous zones are far less ambiguous than those manipulated during the preceding stage and what were sighs of pleasure should quickly turn into some pretty heavy panting. This stage of the massage should contribute to around 30% of the overall experience.
Typical secondary zones: nipples, testes, perineum, mons pubis, and buttocks. [Read: How to work your magic with a good sensual massage]
3. Primary erogenous zones
The final 20% of the massage is the part that puts you in a prime position to give your partner that mind-blowing orgasm they should, by now, be eager for. Focus on these areas to really bring things to an explosive conclusion.
Typical primary zones: clitoris, labia, penis, anus, and vagina.
Working on erogenous zones
Of course, in order to have a good sensual massage technique, you have to know about all the specific erogenous zone. After you’ve passed through most of her body, time to go to the erotic part of the massage. [Read: Top 10 erogenous zones that drive women wild]
By this time her circulation has improved, she’s more relaxed, and her nerves are more sensitive, making her more responsive to stimulation of her erogenous zones.
1. Buttocks
Lightly stroke the edges of her gluteal cleft while increasing pressure to a knead as you go outwards. This will feel as if you’re gently groping her butt.
2. Thighs
Similar to the first, use your fingernails to lightly scratch her inner thigh and gradually run your hand on her whole thigh like you’re grasping a pole. [Read: 10 secret pleasure triggers to arouse a woman instantly]
3. Belly
Rub her belly with moderate pressure using circular motions with both hands. Work your way from the center towards her sides.
4. Breasts and chest
If you’re touching her breasts, do so lightly as it is sensitive. Apply moderate pressure from the base of her breast and continue towards the nipples using light, circular touches. Work on one breast at a time.
5. The pubic areas
An erotic massage isn’t complete without focusing on her mound of Venus. Ask her to spread her legs a little and start by doing compressions on her pubic mound while running your hand on the base of her leg near her opening. [Read: Massaging your partner to orgasms – 20 pivotal dos and don’ts]
Make sure you use light touches if you’re near her vaginal opening to enhance the teasing effect. If she starts to move, flinch, or moan that’s fine. It means you’re doing a great job.
Mastering all the right sensual massage techniques
Never mind, you don’t need to take a six-week course to learn how to give a massage. The most important thing you need is the will to want to give your partner a massage. If you have the will then you’ll find the way.
This is why you’re here, right? You’re panicking, they’re coming over soon and you want to surprise them with a sensual massage except you only know how to karate chop. [Read: Sexual foreplay – 26 lusty secrets to do it well and make them hot and horny]
Fair enough, some people like a solid chop to the back. But there are some sensual massage techniques and tricks you can pull out of your sleeve.
1. Shiatsu sensual massage technique
It’s the easiest technique to use for people that don’t have much experience giving massages. Basically, this technique consists of using your thumbs and applying pressure to the body.
You press, stretch, knead, or tap while moving your thumbs in a circular motion. At first, don’t apply too much pressure, you don’t want to hurt them. [Read: Shower sex – 18 sexy bathroom secrets to get wet, make love, and not slip]
2. Compression sensual massage technique
Use this technique to mix in with the Shiatsu technique. The compression technique does exactly what it says.
You’re applying pressure to the body by pressing your palms flat onto the area, rubbing it in a circular motion. This is usually done right before going into a deeper massage such as a Shiatsu.
3. Kneading sensual massage technique
This is similar to the Shiatsu technique in that you typically use this technique for a deeper massage. You would usually use this for the butt or other areas of the body which are meatier. [Read: Erotic massage 101: How to work some magic]
Stay away from massaging the stomach, not everyone is cool with that. Have you ever kneaded bread before? That’s exactly what you have to do.
Massage in general is about knowing the right-hand movements and knowing where to apply such movements. Erotic massage aims to tease and arouse more than physical relaxation, so it is generally lighter than conventional massage.
4. Nuru sensual massage technique
Nuru massage originated in Japan where it has been used for centuries. During the treatment, the receiver and the masseuse are both naked and then covered in special Nuru gel which makes them very slippery. In fact, “nuru” means slippery in Japanese. [Read: 30 Hot, sizzling ways to spice up your sex life and leave you horny 24/7]
The masseuse uses their entire body to slide over the receiver’s body which gives them an intense sensual experience. Full body contact helps produce incredible sensations that arouse your body and mind.
The gel is odorless and colorless and is made from Nori seaweed abstract, aloe vera, grapefruit abstract, and other natural ingredients.
5. Genitalia sensual massage technique
Genitalia massage technique is what it sounds like – massaging your vagina or testicles. A vaginal massage involves massaging the muscle tissues inside the vaginal canal. [Read: Sex tutorial – 20 things about how to have and enjoy sex that no one tells you]
While how it’s done is different, it functions the same way as a back or foot massage. And a testicular massage is exactly what it sounds like too – massaging the man’s balls.
Hand movements and massage techniques
Now that you know some of the general techniques you can use in sensual massage, let’s go over some of the hand movements and strokes you should be using.
1. Friction or stroking
The easiest and lightest technique is friction-based rubbing. This kind of movement aims to stimulate the sense of touch of the skin.
This is done by using the whole surface area of your hands in contact with your partner’s body. The touch should be in full contact with only light pressure. [Read: 20 things you can do to get your woman in the mood]
2. Compression
Compression is done by applying pressure over a specific area. This technique aims to reach the muscles and connective tissue below the skin and increase blood circulation over that specific area. Compression is usually done using the palm of both hands.
3. Kneading
Kneading is similar to compression. However, it focuses on a smaller, more precise area and utilizes rhythmic, circular motion. This technique requires the most pressure and is used to target large muscles such as the buttocks, the thigh, and the belly.
Preparing for the massage
Be it casual, erotic, or therapeutic, massages require several basic things for enjoyability. Without these, it would hardly be called a massage. Make sure you prepare beforehand for a more relaxed massage session. [Read: Tantric sex: The beginner’s guide to awaken your sexuality]
1. Prepare a relaxing venue
No one can relax in an environment that isn’t very relaxing and, put simply, no relaxation means no orgasm. It’s up to you to set the scene to make the immediate area more conducive to the activities you’ve planned on.
Always remember that the venue and ambiance make or break the massage. You just really need to get the setting right. As a general rule for any massage session, the place should be clean, relaxing, and with privacy.
Your partner can experience the pleasure of a good massage only when they feel relaxed and uninhibited. Dim the lights if your partner feels awkward about lying in the nude under bright light or use a soft cloth to cover their butt when they lie down in the nude on their tummy. [Read: How to look really good naked using 15 real life tips]
If you’re really into it, you can add mood lighting, candles, and ambient music to make it a complete spa experience.
And don’t forget to dress yourself up in soft clothing or take your clothes off.
2. The massage bed
If you don’t have a proper massage bed like most people, you could opt for a mattress you can set on the floor or just use your bed. Use clean sheets and cover the top with a large towel to soak the oil you’ll be using. [Read: 15 Sexy conversation starters for couples to get you horny in minutes]
3. Turn the air conditioning or heat to comfortable levels
You and your girl will probably be half-naked during the session, so set the AC temperature just right.
4. Choosing the right massage oil
Oil is an essential item when giving a massage as it eases the movement of the hands over the skin. It also makes the touch more pleasurable because not everyone has soft hands.
There are many types of massage oils to purchase at specialty shops. But the most commonly used are lavender, rose, or jasmine oil. [Read: What are the five senses of sexy lovemaking?]
5. Towel
Needless to say, massage gets messy. You don’t want to rub oil all over the place once you’re done. Make sure you have fresh, clean towels lying around to pat her down with after you’re done.
6. Hygiene
As the masseur, make sure you have clean hands and have your fingernails trimmed to avoid scratches on her skin. Ask her to shower before the massage to avoid the day’s dirt from spreading over her body during the massage.
7. Undisturbed time
If you want to give your lover a great sensual massage, give yourselves, at last, an hour of undisturbed time with no phone calls, email, or visitors. [Read: The massage virgin’s guide to massage etiquette]
A sensual massage is a union of two minds and to experience it completely, you need to think of nothing but the way your hands feel against your partner’s body.
8. Things you need
There are no necessities to a good massage and just your bare hands should suffice. But if you want to heighten the pleasurable sensation, keep a bottle of body lotion *non-sticky and water-based* nearby.
Want to go one step further? Light fragrant incense or use massage oils and play some soothing ambiance music at low volume. But just remember to avoid using oils that have an overpowering fragrance.
9. It’s all about lighting
No one gives a sensual massage under fluorescent lighting, because really, what an eyesore. If you want to give a sensual massage, you need to set the mood.
If you can’t dim the lights in your room to give that soft ambiance, then turn the lights off and light candles instead. [Read: 16 ways to get your room to scream sex]
10. Go easy on the music
Now is not the time to play your favorite heavy-metal or punk rock band. There are 364 other days to do that. If you can, add some soft music, *not elevator music* but more meditation and relaxation music in the background.
It’ll create a warm atmosphere and allow your partner to actually relax which is the entire point of this massage. [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]
11. It’s all about the nose
If you’re giving your partner a sensual massage, you don’t want their nostrils to be filled with the scent of dirty underwear or day-old cheese. It’s all about the scent.
Don’t be afraid to use essences or a fragrant oil that helps relax them. You may not think this is a big deal but when they lay there, they want to relax to the smell of something cozy and warm.
12. Don’t cheap out on the oil
Listen, you don’t have to use nice towels or go out and buy a CD specifically for massage music. Don’t blow your money on those things when you can easily download music or use an old towel from home *just make sure it’s clean and stain free*. [Read: How to get in the mood when your libido is completely absent]
But you shouldn’t cheap out on the oil. This is what’s going to be applied to their body and absorbed by their skin. Make sure the oil is 100% natural so that they don’t break out.
13. Know the oils that work
Listen, there are literally hundreds of oils on the market that claim to do wonders for massages. Yeah, you can try them all out, but here are the ones that are well-known for being great to use for massages. Try rose oil, sandalwood oil, or grapeseed oil.
14. Choose your weapons
When it’s time to blow, and the signs will be more than apparent, it’s time to choose your weapons—whether fingers, tongue, lips or a sex toy—and apply yourself dedicatedly and consistently until the goal is achieved. This is no time to get bored, tired, or selfish! [Do toys tickle your fancy? Read: 13 must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first-timers]
How to give a good sensual massage
Have you ever given a sensual massage to your partner? How do you feel when you give a massage to your lover? And most importantly, did your partner really enjoy it?
You may not realize this, but a sensual massage is a union of two bodies experiencing the bliss felt by one.
A massage isn’t about one person doing all the work while the other partner experiences a good rub down. [Read: The right way to dress for sex and enjoy it better]
When you massage your lover, you’d start to feel as good as your partner does.
But that would happen only when you truly connect with your partner and create a bond, and let the energies flow between your bodies.
Mastering all the right sensual massage techniques
A massage doesn’t take long, nor does it need a lot of accessories. Once you understand what a sensual massage really needs, you’ll be able to prepare yourself and your partner for it within a few minutes and enjoy a rejuvenating massage that’ll make both of you feel good.
You don’t need nimble fingers or a brow full of dripping sweat to apply the right pressure or give the perfect massage. [Read: The art of arranging a bedroom to create a sex bedroom]
You just need to keep these 18 steps in mind to create an experience that’s reminiscent of helpless ecstasy and a feeling of complete bliss, for both of you.
1. Don’t massage with the expectation of getting one back
But seriously, don’t do it. We’re only telling you this because you’re not going to get one back, at least not on the same day.
They just had a massage. They’re relaxed. The last thing they want to do is massage you. Sorry. Now, if you’re thinking that this could arouse your partner, that’s different and it will probably work. [Read: Are you being selfish in the relationship? 19 signs you’re being a user]
2. Have patience
Relax and calm your mind. Patience is the key to giving a good massage. Feel good about yourself and prepare your mind to selflessly please your partner without expecting anything but happiness and relaxation in return. Take a few deep breaths and avoid any distractions.
3. The warmup to the massage
Ask your partner to lie on their tummy on the bed. Sit down by their side *you can also sit on their butt or thighs if they’re comfortable with your body weight*.
Place your hands on your partner’s upper back and move your hands all over their back. Pour a liberal amount of lotion or oil on their back and start moving your hands around their back slowly. [Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses]
4. Make sure your hands are warm
This may sound silly but having two cold hands touching your back isn’t a fun experience. In fact, it’s more of a turn-off. That’s not what you want.
Before touching your partner, with the oil in your hands, rub them together for a minute to make sure the oil warms up. It’s a simple thing to do but makes a world of difference.
5. Start slowly
You need to get your head around the fact that sensual massage requires a gradual escalation process that relies on you starting slowly. Skip any steps or increase the pace to get to the end game a little quicker.
So, begin with parts of the body that aren’t usually considered erogenous zones before you move on to the more sexual parts. [Read: 43 Ways to give a guy a rock-hard boner and mistakes many girls make]
The shoulders are usually considered the best place to start, as you can encourage relaxation without jumping directly into sexual stimulation. This stage should contribute about 10% to the overall massage.
6. Start with a head massage
Girls love head massages. Head massages do not require oil, and you can do simple strokes and kneading. Focus on kneading her scalp lightly with your fingers and stroking lines starting from her hairline towards her crown.
Alternate kneading and stroking and end it with a gentle rub at the back of her neck. [Read: How to give a sensual massage and work your magic]
7. Oil up her whole body with light strokes
Start at the back, below her shoulders. Technically, you are just applying oil but at the same time, you also give her a back rub.
Use long strokes using the whole surface area of your hand to apply oil over her back starting at the shoulders down to the top of her buttocks. Once you’re done with her torso, apply oil over her arms first, then her legs and feet.
8. Apply modest friction along the grain of the muscles
Do this to bring out optimal pleasure to your partner. Going against the muscle grain makes your touches awkward and uncomfortable. [Read: 26 Sexy, dirty, freaky to say and do in bed and try something new]
9. Work your way from her center mass outwards towards the appendages
Meaning you start with kneading on the back to the sides and ending with moderate pressure of your fingers while working on her arms towards the hands. As mentioned, apply more pressure by kneading larger muscles such as the buttocks and legs.
10. Work your way down the body
If you’re not sure where to start, the best place to begin the massage is from the head working your way down. If you start from the head, don’t use oil until you reach their neck.
No one likes having oil in their hair. Starting from the head or neck and working your way down is the safest way to give a massage. [Read: 87 Best truth or dare questions for a wild and sexy night]
11. Don’t go to the erogenous zones right away
If you want to massage your partner and hopefully turn them on in the process, you just can’t go straight to their erogenous zones even if you’re working on your sensual massage techniques. Come on people! Think of this like starting a car in the middle of winter.
You need to warm up the engine. Start massaging their neck, upper back, arms, and mid-back. Then, you work your way down their lower back and upper thighs.
12. The energy exchange
The energy exchange is the most important part of a good sensual massage. As you move your hands gently over your partner’s back, close your eyes and feel your hands move against your lover’s body. [Read: 25 Secrets to seduce before a kiss and turn a guy on while kissing him]
Breathe deeply and feel your partner breathing through your hands. Apply a little pressure on their back, and with your eyes closed, visualize the love and the affection you have for your partner.
Visualize the positive energy flowing from your body to your hands and into your partner’s body. As you experience the flow of energy, your bodies will create a powerful connection that will bind both of you together in a powerful connection of sensual bliss.
Your partner will feel what you feel, and you’ll feel what your partner feels. Love and lust will start flowing to and fro between your bodies. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry in a relationship and make it stay]
This may seem rather out-of-the-world as you read it, but as soon as you try this step with your partner, you’ll realize the connection within a few minutes. You may even find yourself laughing or getting misty-eyed because the connection would be so surprisingly powerful!
13. Vary the pressure
As you move your hands, vary the pressure you’re applying on your partner. A happy moan implies good pressure, a grunt or a painful moan means you need to reduce the pressure.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, ask your partner to tell you if you need to reduce or increase the pressure. To ensure that you’re giving a good massage, start in the middle of the back and move your hands outward and sideways. [Read: How to tease your girlfriend sexually and make her think of you all day]
14. Use something other than your hands
Who says you have to limit your massage to only using your hands? Sure, that seems like the logical thing to do. And you’ve probably never thought of using anything other than your hands.
However, to make it more interesting and sensual, try using your lips, tough, teeth, toes, or any other body part of yours. Get as creative as you can. Not only will it be unique, but very memorable too.
15. The feel-good zones
The neck, the shoulders, and the toes are the feel-good zones. Even if your partner doesn’t enjoy a massage or if they’re still feeling stiff or awkward, start with this region.
These areas would help your partner relax immediately, shed their inhibitions, and enjoy your hands against their body. [Read: 10 ways to make married sex feel like a one-night stand]
16. The sensual zones
A sensual massage is no good when you don’t spend a lot of time in the sensual zones, the pelvis, inner thigh and lower back. As you move your hands all over your partner, pay attention to the way their body feels. If it feels rigid, you need to focus on the feel-good zones.
If it feels relaxed and moves easily, they’re ready for the sensual zones. Spend a lot of time massaging your lover around their sensual zone. And if you want to bring more passion into the massage, kiss or nibble your partner around their sensual zone now and then.
17. Getting sexual and sensual
As you continue massaging your partner, switch between the sensual and the feel-good zones every now and then. If your partner gets turned on, focus more on the sensual zones, so they can enjoy the sexual side of a relaxing massage.
You can even go down on your partner now and then to help them experience a sensual orgasm. [Confession: My Asian happy ending massage experience]
18. The cool down
After a long while, just as you started increasing the pressure with your hands gradually, start reducing the pressure you’re applying on their body slowly.
The cool down process should take at least five minutes where you start reducing the pressure very gradually, so your partner actually doesn’t realize the difference in your hand’s pressure.
Once you’ve almost reduced the pressure completely, move your hands all over your partner’s body gently and slowly so they can still feel your soothing touch but they can’t feel the pressure.
End the sensual massage by softly kissing your lover around their body without disturbing their relaxed state of mind. [Need some practice first? Try: Sexy tips to turn yourself on with your senses]
Things you DON’T want to do
Now that you know all the right things to do to give the perfect sensual massage, there are also some things you definitely want to avoid doing. So, keep these in mind too because they are equally important.
Don’t…
1. Forget to shower
No one likes a stinker! Make sure you’re spotlessly clean and scented.
2. Do it clothed
Starting out naked will likely just make them self-conscious and tense. [Read: How to look sexy without trying to look sexy]
3. Go in dry
No oil equals rough handling, desensitization, and a one-way ticket to never giving or getting another sensual massage.
4. Forget to manicure
The same applies here as to number 13.
5. Leap in for the kill
Make sure you follow the stages in a steady progression, or you risk killing the mood. [Check out: 9 sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed!]
6. Get bored
Maintain your rhythm and application. Massage time is selfless time, and needs to be treated as such.
7. Be a robot
Be responsive! Don’t just follow a game plan without room for spontaneity. If your partner asks for additional stimulation somewhere, give it. If your partner asks you to avoid something, avoid it! These guidelines are simply that: guidelines.
8. Try to get in on the act
You’ll get your turn eventually. Right now, it’s time to focus on your partner and your partner’s pleasure. [Try: 12 signs you’re being selfish in a relationship]
9. Throw in the towel
It’s a long journey, but a worthwhile one. You’ll get there in the end.
10. Don’t make a sharp exit
Running off at the point of “O” is humiliating. Warm things down a bit first.
[Read: How to experience the bliss of tantric sex after a good massage]
Most would agree that getting a sensual massage from your special someone can be a better experience in many ways. First, you get it for free with an added affection bonus, and second, it can be a great bonding experience as a couple.
