Whether you’ve done it or not, dry humping is a great sexual experience. Learn all about it and how to do it for fun without going all the way.
When you’re a teenager who’s just started to explore your sexuality, the world can be a titillating place. Every kiss excites something, and every lingering touch stimulates something else. And you might find yourself dry humping.
But you feel like you have to behave like you know everything about sex already. The thing is that even full-blown adults can’t claim to be masters of sex and sexual stimulation!
That’s why dry humping is the single best place to learn how to explore your sexuality and enjoy it from the get-go. [Read: 20 dirty questions to text a guy and seduce him instantly!]
Even the sexually experienced still enjoy a good, old dry hump from time to time! That’s because dry humping also takes you back to those teenage days when you used to make out for hours in a euphoric state of heightened sexual arousal.
Grinding is also incredibly fantastic for females since it stimulates the clit directly and often results in orgasm, if not multiple.
Win-Win-Win!
What is dry humping?
Dry sex, ‘outer-course,’ or dry humping basically occurs when two individuals who are fully clothed *whether that means you really are fully dressed, or you’re both just in your underwear* grind against each other for sexual yumminess. [Read: 10 sexy ways to discreetly seduce a guy who isn’t yours already]
So, by definition, dry humping is nothing but dry sex. It’s a kind of non-penetrative sex or outercourse. Your partner and you graze each other’s privates against each other, but with your clothes on. Or you can do it alone, with the help of a cushion.
You can feel each other down there, but you can’t see it or directly touch each other’s privates. And it’s probably called dry sex because you don’t exchange body fluids with each other.
Dry sex definitely feels good, as the friction and pressure you feel on your labia and clitoris could stimulate you and make you feel sexually excited. [Read: How to grind with a guy sexily and discreetly]
Your boyfriend too may enjoy his erection more because of the pressure he feels against his member. To understand it better, think of it as grinding your butt at a guy when you’re dancing at a pervy party.
If you’re learning how to dry hump alone, you can use a cushion, as we mentioned, or any surface that’s hard enough to give you friction but covered enough to make it comfortable. The corner of a sofa or the edge of a bed are both good options.
Where does dry humping come from?
Dry humping is almost as instinctual as having penetrative sex. When two people know the risks of pregnancy but want to still have an orgasmic sexual experience, they just start to grind against one another because it feels good. [Read: 41 Sultry ways to turn a guy on fast and make him lust and fantasize about you]
There is no person who “invented” dry humping. It’s just something that human beings have been doing for centuries. It feels natural and has been something that brings people sexual pleasure.
Who is dry humping for?
If you haven’t had sex yet, either because you’re not ready or because you don’t intend to have sex until you’ve met the right person who you can spend your life with, well, good for you.
This feature is specifically for our younger readers who haven’t had sex yet and are looking at other ways to keep the sexual excitement alive in their relationship.
Of course, it’s also for those who are exploring masturbation and sexual stimulation alone. [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he notices a girl]
You may think having sex at a young age is all the rage. But anyone with a frisky teenage sexual experience to brag about will tell you that sex is always better when you’ve reached consensual age and you’ve met someone you truly like.
So, dry humping is a great and safe way to explore sexual sensations alone or with your partner, without pushing yourself beyond your comfort level.
Why do people engage in dry sex?
There are many reasons that people engage in dry sex. First, they may both be virgins but they aren’t ready to take the next step and have penetrative sex.
It’s a great alternative to the “real thing.” Both people get pleasure and they don’t have as many risks. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it!]
Second, people may be making out in a situation where they can’t have sex in the moment. For example, maybe they’re at a party with other people around, so it would be inappropriate to take it further.
Third, older people who aren’t virgins might have just started dating but aren’t ready to have sex yet. This is a good way to have a sexual interaction without actually having sex.
Another reason people might have dry sex is if a woman is on her period. One or both of them might not want to have sex, but they still want to be as intimate as they can considering the circumstances. [Read: The dirty truth about losing your virginity no one told you]
These are just a few reasons people might engage in dry sex. There are others, and everyone has their own individual reasons for doing so.
Is dry humping safe?
The truth is that dry humping is a safe experience. There is no penetration, no extreme touching, and you can control the pressure and speed to your own preferences. You can do it on your own, or you can do it with your partner if you’re not ready to go the whole way yet.
And the best part is that there is no risk of pregnancy or getting an STI. You can get the benefits of feeling good and having a “sexual experience” without worrying about any of the bad stuff than can accompany having penetrative sex. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]
What is the difference between dry humping, masturbation, and sex?
As we already explained, dry humping is usually done with two people with their clothes on or at least in their underwear. It could be done naked, but that is not recommended because then the temptation to penetrate and have sex that way is too much.
Masturbation is when you pleasure yourself, and it is usually done in private – alone. Sure, it can be done with a partner, and then it’s called “mutual masturbation.”
Dry humping could be incorporated into masturbation if one person decides to hump a pillow or something else to stimulate their genitals.
Sex is when the penis enters the vagina. The back-and-forth, in-and-out movements cause the man to orgasm and excrete semen which is full of sperm. Sperm is what meets the woman’s egg and will result in a pregnancy. [Read: Mutual masturbation – 14 intimate ways to connect without touching]
Myths and misconceptions about dry humping
People might think they know what dry humping is, but there are also some myths and misconceptions about it too. Here are two important ones that you should know.
1. It’s a “lesser” sexual act
Let’s say you’re a guy *or a girl* who really wants to get laid and have “real” sex. Any sexual act can be considered “sex.” So, dry humping isn’t a lesser sexual act than penetrative sex. In fact, it’s a lot wiser to do it because you can’t get pregnant or get an STI.
2. It is only performed by younger people
Most people think that dry humping is just something that teenagers do because they are virgins and it’s the next best thing to “real sex.” But that’s not true.
It is also enjoyed by older people who are not virgins. They have their own individual reasons, and it’s not as uncommon as you think among adults. [Read: Sex for the first time – the teen’s guide to a great time]
Health risks associated with dry sex
Although dry sex is always safe when it’s done with clothes or underwear on, it’s not nearly as safe if you do when you are both naked. You still won’t get pregnant if you have dry sex naked, but you can still get STIs. Penetration is not needed to get one.
An STI can still be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact or fluid exchange. So, if you’re dry humping naked, or even with thin-fabric underwear on, you increase your risk. Even bodily fluids could seep through the fabric.
So, here are some health risks associated with dry sex.
1. HPV
HPV, or the human papillomavirus, is a viral infection that causes skin or mucous membrane growths *warts*. There are more than 100 varieties of HPV. Some can cause warts and some can even cause cancer.
The infections are transmitted sexually through skin-to-skin contact. [Read: STDs 101 – the most common types and their symptoms]
2. Pubic lice
Pubic lice, or crabs as it’s often called, are small parasites that attach to the skin and hair near your genitals, and they feed on your blood. They spread very easily during sexual contact when two people’s pubic hair touches each other.
3. Herpes
Genital herpes is a common sexually transmitted infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. Sexual contact is the primary way it spreads, and it can lie dormant in your body and reactivate several times a year.
It can cause pain, itching, and sores n your genital area. You might not even have any signs or symptoms, and you can be contagious even if you have no visible sores. [Read: How to avoid getting STDs]
If I had dry sex, am I still a virgin?
The common definition of a virgin is someone who has never had penetrative, penis-in-vagina sex. So, if you were dry humping without penetration, then technically, yes you are still a virgin.
With that said, some people define “sex” differently these days. While most people define it as vaginal intercourse, some people extend it to include oral or anal sex too. Many LGBTQ people never had penis-in-vagina sex. But they don’t consider themselves virgins.
It’s better to wait – trust us
Without sounding like total prudes, we’d like to give you a piece of advice. Save your virginity for as long as you comfortably can. You’ll get to enjoy the other things a lot more by doing that! [Read: 25 signs your boyfriend loves you even if he doesn’t say it out]
If you’re 18 and still don’t feel ready for sex, don’t have sex. You don’t have to give in to peer pressure or do it just because everyone else is doing it. You’ll just regret it later.
Most teenagers can’t wait to grow up. In their haste to become adults, they lose their youthful innocence far too soon. If you’re a teenager who wants to be an adult early in life, you need to understand that you may lose your childhood over your pursuit of experiencing your sexuality.
Remember, once you lose your youthful teenage years, you’ll never get it back. Value your innocence. It’s the best part of being young.
And really, you do realize that you have your whole life ahead of you to have sex with whomever you want, don’t you?! [Read: How I lost my virginity – 15 true stories that aren’t so sexy]
Even if you’re in a relationship with a really great guy who says that he loves you, don’t jump into bed with him right away. Build intimacy first and try to get to know each other better.
There is an easy way to understand if you and your lover are emotionally connected. If you’re uncomfortable talking about something sexual with your boyfriend, then you’re definitely not intimate yet.
If you and your boyfriend really do love each other, both of you must feel really comfortable talking about anything at all, don’t you think? [Read: 15 signs of an emotionally controlling manipulative boyfriend]
How to dry hump your way to better orgasms
Dry humping can be a lot of fun. It can give you a lot of orgasms, and it can also feel just as good as sex if you play it well. By enjoying this experience together (or alone), you’ll start to feel more comfortable about sex in general.
That doesn’t mean you should jump into it still, but it will help you understand what feels good and learn more about your body.
To enjoy a good dry hump, you need privacy and a comfortable place to sit down or lie down. Beyond that, everyone has their own way of doing it. Here are a few great tips to dry hump your way to a sexy orgasm!
1. Follow your instincts
When you lie down against each other, move your bodies against each other until the hips seem to move in sync with each other. If you’re dry humping alone, move your body in a way that feels good. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]
2. Take it slowly the first time
If you’re dry humping for the first time or not really sure about how to do it, use a bed or a couch. Dry humping is all about pelvic movements.
The closer you place your private areas against each other while lying on top of each other, the more pleasurable it would feel.
If you’re dry humping alone, it’s best to be on top of something, so you can feel more friction against the surface. The edge or corner of a sofa or bed will allow you to keep your legs on the floor or lift them up when you want to. You’ll also feel strong friction against your clitoris.
3. Use your hands
Just like regular sex, dry sex isn’t all just about the action downstairs. Use your hands and run them all over each other, kiss each other passionately, bite and nibble.
Dry sex will definitely heighten the sensation of everything else you do to each other. [Read: 10 ways to increase the passion while kissing your lover]
4. Avoid getting completely naked
The temptation of slipping it in will ruin the moment. It’s not worth it. If you ever do plan to have sex, it should never be a spur-of-the-moment decision.
You and your partner need to discuss this calmly and rationally when you’re not clouded by sexual passion. By keeping your clothes on, you’re maintaining enough clarity to avoid a mistake you might regret later.
5. Shorts are a good option
You get to feel a lot of bare skin against each other, and this can really feel sexy. If you’re wearing soft cotton shorts while he’s in his jeans, you’d end up getting stimulated faster and enjoying a better orgasm.
The roughness of the denim against the thin material of your shorts will get the job done. [Read: First-time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]
6. Mix up your positions
You don’t need to indulge in the same motions the whole time. Both of you could end up feeling rather sore otherwise. Instead, shift your bodies now and then. You can press your pelvis against his leg, and use your hands to stimulate his package too.
7. Maintain presence of mind
Don’t lose your presence of mind just because you’re horny and can’t think straight. If you see that his pants are wet, or if he tells you that he’s about to ejaculate, pull back.
There’s always a small risk of pregnancy if body fluids come in contact with each other. It’s unlikely with dry humping, but it’s still there. [Read: The dating girl code all girls definitely need to know]
8. Play with toys
Another great thing you can do when you are dry humping is to incorporate some toys. Toys will help you both reach orgasm without having to have penetrative sex.
For women, using a vibrator will bring them a powerful orgasm quite quickly. And for men, there are also a lot of toys that can be used to enhance their sexual experience too.
9. Keep condoms on hand
You might have the best of intentions of keeping the make-out session to dry humping, but sometimes things can get carried away and you might want to go further.
If you both have agreed that this is something that you want to do, then that’s fine. But don’t forget to have some condoms handy so you don’t risk pregnancy or an STI. [Read: Buying condoms – the newbie’s complete guide to using condoms]
Can you get pregnant by dry humping?
This is a common question.
The truth is that dry sex doesn’t lead to pregnancies – it almost never does. For a very long time, it was always understood that penetration of the guy’s penis into a girl’s vagina is the only way for the girl to get pregnant.
But a few rare medical cases have shown that it’s not always the case. Sometimes, the exchange of body fluids can take place even without penetration and lead to pregnancy.
But the chances of that happening are so slim that you’d probably be a medical case study if you did end up pregnant. [Read: How to have phone sex like a sexy sassy minx]
Let’s explain a little more …
Let’s go through the worst-case scenario in simple terms to help you understand it better. During ovulation, an egg is released by your body into the fallopian tubes from your ovaries. The egg stays there for a while until a sperm meets it. If this doesn’t happen, that’s when you get your period.
These fallopian tubes connect to your uterus, which is further connected to the vagina through a cervix. That’s a lot of distance for a warrior sperm to travel, especially if the sperm isn’t deep inside you already.
If your boyfriend ejaculates his sperm, wets his shorts with his sperm, and still continues to have passionate dry sex with you, there’s a small chance that the sperm may travel onto your clothes and pass through your shorts and over the outer walls of your vagina. [Read: Sex myths – 15 commonly accepted “sex facts” that are so wrong]
After that, if you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself rather deep using a tissue, there’s a very small chance that one of the sperms that were on your vaginal wall may be pushed into your vagina because of your tissue.
Realistically speaking, it needs a lot of coincidences for you to get pregnant by having dry sex with your clothes on.
But just to be cautious and smart. It’s never too early to be aware of how birth control works, even if you’re not having actual sex yet. [Read: 18 signs to decode a guy’s true feelings about you]
If you’re comfortable with the idea, confess to a friendly adult that you’re indulging in dry sex so they can advise you and be your pillar of support if something scares you.
The guy’s side of dry humping
A guy may not always be able to orgasm if he’s dry humping a girl. If your boyfriend complains of blue balls *his balls hurt because he wasn’t able to ejaculate after getting an erection*, let him finish himself off in the bathroom or in bed while fondling you with his hands.
If he can masturbate when he’s alone at home, he definitely can do a better job while watching you in bed. [Read: Big blue ball facts every girl’s gotta know!]
And most importantly, even if your boyfriend isn’t a virgin, don’t feel pressurized into doing more than just dry humping. Even if he whines about it, he’ll still enjoy it because getting sexually intimate with you is a whole new experience for him.
Think about it, if just passionately kissing you could give him an erection, don’t you think dry humping him will do so much more?
Things to be careful of while dry humping
Dry humping is safe and a great way to explore your sexuality and build intimacy with your lover, without having to involve sexual penetration into the picture. [Read: Is your boyfriend pestering you to have sex with just-the-tip?]
Here are a few things you can keep in mind to ensure that nothing goes wrong while having dry sex with your partner.
1. Be wary of zips and too-rough material
Sometimes even something as regular as zippers or thick jeans can end up grazing your skin, leaving you with an uncomfortable burn or a painful wound.
2. Move around to avoid getting sore
Change the pressure positions now and then, or when you feel the pressure getting painful. You’ll enjoy dry humping better. [Read: Why does sex hurt? 15 quick signs something’s not right]
3. Feeling wet is a good sign
You may feel wet down there, but it’s just your body’s way of preparing you for sex. It’s your body’s natural lubricant. This lubricant will help avoid getting hurt by making you more slippery down there.
As long as the guy is wearing his jeans and hasn’t ejaculated, you don’t need to panic about your own lubricant.
All things dry sex: Dos, don’ts, and the best positions for maximum pleasure
We’re delving into all things dry sex. From how to do it, what not to do, and the best positions for your pleasure, here are all things humpalicious. [Read: How to make him go down on you without a push]
1. DO: Go for the finish line
If you were the girl who used to engage in a little pillow humping or chair grinding during solo masturbation, you probably reach orgasm easily just by grinding on your partner. So why not go for the O?
For some women, having an orgasm through grinding is much easier than penetration. This happens because, duh, your clit is being ground to perfection.
If you are hot on your lover, catching a rhythm, and feeling sexy, feel free to cross that finish line. [Read: Clitoris stimulation: 10 sexy ways to please the clitoris]
2. DON’T: Hide your orgasm from your partner
This is a lot more common than you think, especially for teenagers. If it’s your first time cumming after some sexy-time dry humping, don’t be embarrassed!
And don’t feel like you have to hide it from your partner. Odds are they won’t think it’s weird that you’re getting off with your clothes on—they’ll think it’s hot!
3. DO: Remove some clothes
Dry sex implies you aren’t exchanging any fluids, but that doesn’t mean all your clothes have to stay on. Dry humping is like foreplay on speed.
It’s a sexual high running through your whole body that creates a massive buildup of delicious tension. [Read: 25 easy tips on how you can make your boyfriend happy every single day!]
So, if you feel the urge to rip your partner’s shirt off and strip each other down until you’re grinding in your undies, all power to you!
4. DON’T: Wear jeans
As we mentioned, dry sex can be performed with varying amounts of clothes on. But we beg of you, if you do keep all your clothes on during the act, don’t wear jeans!
Jeans chafe and make your genitals swell up like a rock star after a bar fight. Not good. In fact, stay away from harsh pants in general. [Read: 15 tips for a sizzling, satisfying make out session]
Stick to leggings, pajama pants, underwear, and joggers. Nylons are also fantastic. Any fabrics easily slipping and sliding against one another are great in our books.
5. DO: Try different positions
Just like regular sex, dry sex comes in a variety of positions that all have their benefits. Don’t feel like you have to stay in the missionary position to have a good time. *More on this below!*
6. DON’T: Forget the foreplay!
Just because you’re not going “all the way” doesn’t mean you should forget about foreplay! For men, it’s usually easy peasy getting off, but girls need a little more mental and physical stimulation.
Dry sex is basically one giant foreplay session, so make it work! [Read: 9 sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed]
Kiss, caress, grope, and moan. Go slow until you both find your rhythm and speed up as your excitement builds.
7. DO: Enjoy the fact that she isn’t going to get preggers
Can I get pregnant from dry humping? This search query returns roughly 1,390,000 results. Paranoid, much? Take solace in the fact that you guys can do some frisky grinding stress-free.
You can’t get pregnant from dry humping. Semen doesn’t travel through clothes. So long as his semen isn’t coming into contact with your vagina, there’ll be no baby coming out of you! [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]
8. DON’T: Do it in a full house
Just because your clothes are on doesn’t mean you can’t get caught! Dry sex can be just as loud as proper intercourse, complete with bed rocking and loud moans. So, if you’re thinking you can get away with some sexy pant-on-pant action in a house full of people, think again.
9. DON’T: Move too aggressively
The lubricant released by your body can help protect your vaginal walls, but you still need to play it gently. Extremely aggressive dry sex could leave your vaginal walls with tears which could end up bleeding.
Now you know everything there is to know about dry humping, you can choose to try it or not. But it’s a great way to start exploring sex before you’re truly ready to go all the way. [Read: Aggressive sex – 14 wild ways to do it right if you like it rough]
If you’re doing it solo, use that time to learn what feels good for you. Then, when you are ready, you can pass that information on to your partner for a better sex life.
Best positions for dry humping
Now that you know the dos and don’ts of shagging with your clothes on, you’re probably wondering about the best positions to get the job done. Dry sex is all about creating friction.
This means that creating positions can get a little tricky, but definitely satisfying. Here are three of the best positions for getting off with your clothes on. [Read: 12 easy sex positions that won’t break your neck or worse]
1. Missionary
Missionary is great for grinding since it provides direct stimulation to the clit. Keep communication open and let your man know what feels good and where he’s hitting your nether regions best.
For more direct stimulation, spread your labia from under your panties and have him press against you.
2. Cowgirl
Possibly one of the best positions ever for dry sex, cowgirl puts the woman in the hot seat. Cowgirl is a great position for dry sex for the same reasons it is for penetration. [Read: 30 day sex challenge – 30 sex positions for 30 days]
It gives the woman complete control of how fast, how hard, and in what rhythm or direction she wants her clit stimulated.
Ladies, we know you can go wild when you’re on top, so make sure you ask your partner if what you’re doing is good for them. You’d hate to be on the cusp of cumming while bruising your man’s junk from your hard grinding! [Read: 19 ways to own the cowgirl position and make it hotter]
3. Spooning
Spooning is a nice, lazy position for dry sex. This gives your partner great bum action, but little clit stimulation. For a great mix, have your man grind your bum while rubbing your clit with his hand over your underwear.
4. The leg-grind
One partner lies on their back and the other straddles one leg to ride, grind, and stroke to their heart’s delight.
5. The snake
One partner lies on their stomach and the other lies on top of them. The bottom partner can rub against their hand, a toy, or a mattress and the other partner can grind on top of them. [Read: 17 Most intimate sex positions and tips to feel romantic while making love]
6. The face-sit
One partner lies on their back and the other sits on their face to rub and grind.
7. The oral rub
Rub yourself off against your partner’s leg while you go down on them.
[Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to orgasms]
And well, that’s all there is to know about dry humping. And now that you know how to dry hump, share the word with your friends. You’d definitely be doing them a favor by letting them see the better side of dry sex over penetration sex!