Missionary is nice, but eventually, you want to add some heat into the mix. Maybe get spanked, have your hair pulled, you know… aggressive sex.
Now, I’m all for romantic and sensual sex, but there are moments when I’m looking for something rough, something that makes me moan. In this case, I want aggressive sex. And you know, it’s not as uncommon as you think. There’s a psychological component to rough sex that gives you a sexual high, making it feel more pleasurable.
How to have aggressive sex
If you’re curious about having aggressive sex but you think it’s a negative activity, it’s time to change that mindset. Aggressive sex is something that you should at least try out once, and make sure it’s with someone who’s into it. So, if you’re not sure how to have aggressive sex, here are some of the ways.
Believe me, it’s a lot of fun.
#1 Don’t try too hard. You don’t want to force the feelings of aggression. If you thought at first you could do it, but now you realize it’s not for you, stop. There’s nothing worse than trying to do something that you simply don’t feel comfortable doing. So, if you find yourself trying really hard to do it, just take a step back. [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest roughest sex ever]
#2 Figure out what you’re into. You can do this by watching porn or testing it out with your partner. Does spanking really turn you on when you’re watching porn? Has your partner nibbled your lip before, making you go crazy?
Test these things out subtly and see what works for you and what doesn’t. This means you’ll have to communicate with your partner and let them know what turns you on and what doesn’t.
#3 Don’t shock your partner. I mean, in some cases, becoming suddenly rough in bed is an extreme turn on. But if your partner is used to having sex with you in a certain way, completely flipping on them may give them a slight shock treatment.
So, you progressively make it rougher and rougher, letting them adjust to the changes so that they have time to see what turns them on as well. Remember, it’s not always about you. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]
#4 Have a safe word. You need a safe word. Not just for yourself, but for your partner as well. You don’t want this to turn into an unpleasant experience for either of you.
So, make sure you guys have a word that you’ll both be able to use when the sex has passed your personal boundaries. We all have boundaries, so don’t feel shy to tell your partner when you’ve had enough. [Read: Primal ways to have angry sex and do it right]
#5 Loosen up. If you’re really into aggressive sex but you’re nervous to let yourself go, loosen up. Okay, so this is easier said than done, but there’s nothing wrong with having a drink to relax. Remember, your nerves and anxiety are psychological, so you need to control that. Practice breathing, yoga – whatever you need to do in order to relax.
#6 Scream it out. This is the best way to release the tension. Allow yourself to scream, yell, and moan whenever you want. It’ll show your partner that you’re into it. It can also help to build up the sexual energy within, making you want to devour your partner. While you’re moaning or screaming, grab them, and pull them closer to you. [Read: Hot, hot sex – How to turn up your sexual thermostat]
#7 Get handsy. You have two hands, so use them. Hands are the ultimate gift that you can use in the bedroom, so don’t feel shy to use them. Feel them, grab them, pull them, use your hands to pleasure them as much as you can. Hands can turn your calm sex into a wild, passionate adventure.
#8 Pull each other’s hair. This is probably my favorite thing to do. While you’re making out with them, grab their hair, pulling their head back and start kissing their neck. It’s always a winning move. This is usually a sexually-charged move to do, so, expect the sex to become amped after doing this move. [Read: Intense sex – 17 pleasurable ways to make love with real passion]
#9 Get hard with thrusting. Oh God, the thrust. The hard, firm thrust. Whether you or your partner is the one thrusting, when it comes to penetration, thrust hard.
Now, don’t do it right away, make sure that you build up the tension by penetrating your partner slowly, gradually thrusting harder and harder. They’ll be screaming for more, and trust me, you’ll be giving them all you got.
#10 Spank that ass. The ass is meant to be grabbed, bitten, and spanked. I mean, why else would it have that much fat on it? Whether you’re the one being fucked or you’re the one fucking, smack your partner’s ass. It’ll add a little kick to them, making them even more aggressive. If the spanking is becoming too much, let your partner know. [Read: Spanking women – How to when to spank a bad, bad girl the right way]
#11 Get choking. Now, this won’t happen right away. Not unless you both like aggressive sex and have tried this before. If this is your first time, you don’t necessarily have to do this. In fact, you don’t have to do this whether you’re experienced or not.
The point of choking isn’t to literally prevent someone from breathing, it’s about control. You want your fingers to be placed around the sides of their neck as opposed to in the middle of their neck, this will allow them to breathe easily.
#12 Light bondage. You can tie them to the bed and have them under your complete control. You don’t need to know some intricate knots and have them wishing they had their Boy Scout knot manual with them. Just lightly tie them up and explore their body… they’ll love it. [Read: 9 sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed]
#13 Role play. Role playing is something that many people are scared to try, however, once they do it, they love it. You can be the sexy nurse, the firefighter – whatever turns you guys on. Or you guys can switch dom or sub roles, letting each other have a taste of the other side of the coin.
#14 Slap. I love slapping my partner. Now, not everyone likes to be slapped in the face, arms, or thighs, but of course, you’ll be communicating with your partner if they don’t like it. If they like it, go wild. Slap them. Grab them.
[Read: 50 top kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]
Try incorporating some of these things into the bedroom to have more aggressive sex. But, don’t force it. Let it come out of you naturally.
