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How to Get in the Mood For Sex: 17 Horny Tricks to Beat a Dry Spell

If you’re finding that you’re not interested in sex lately, you might simply need to learn how to get in the mood. Here’s some help to get you there. 

how to get in the mood

From time to time, it’s normal to want sex a little less than you normally would. It’s not particularly concerning most of the time. Life gets in the way sometimes and stress can do terrible things to your libido. In some cases, it’s simply a case of needing to learn how to get in the mood yourself and from there, sex sparks start to fly!

We all go through sex lulls. Sometimes our libidos just don’t seem to want to work.

Your desire for sex is low, even though you’d probably enjoy a good romp in the sheets. Knowing how to get in the mood even when your body isn’t cooperating can help you keep your sex life healthy.

Of course, it can also help to keep your relationship fresh and exciting, while giving you that wonderful post-sex glow that we all know about!

[Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses and have a great time]

A healthy sex life can do amazing things for a relationship

Sex isn’t the most important part of a healthy relationship but it does play a major role. You bond through sex. You connect through sex. It’s really important to have a healthy sex life if you want a happy relationship.

And that means going through lulls can be bad for your relationship. Obviously, it’s okay to not want sex when you’re both busy and just don’t have the time but if your sex drive is just low, try to get in the mood anyway. Make it happen so you can get back into the swing of things. [Read: 8 common reasons your sex life sucks and how to fix it]

That doesn’t mean you should force yourself if you’re really not feeling it, but perhaps just trying to coax a few tingles down below could do the trick!

Why does libido dip sometimes?

There are many reasons why your libido might take a temporary tumble sometimes. Stress is the main one, as we mentioned. When you’re stressed about something, it’s hard to concentrate on anything but that one thing. Work problems, money issues, family stress, these are all things that can contribute towards a lower than normal libido.

In some cases, particular medications you may be taking could affect your sex drive. In that case, it’s best to seek out the help of your doctor and get some medical advice on what to do. It’s never a good idea to simply stop taking your medication – that’s a definite don’t! Instead, have a chat with your doctor and see if they can change your medication or whether there’s anything else you can do to give your libido a boost. [Read: How to make yourself horny – 25 powerful ways to get you there fast]

Some women find that their libido dips after having a child, but others find that it skyrockets! There’s really no set answer here but children certainly can put a dampener on your sex life because of the tiredness and upheaval of it all.

Basically, anything that affects your libido can usually be reversed. So, it’s no major issue. But, learning how to get in the mood could be all it takes to turn the situation around. [Read: How to give yourself an orgasm – 16 wet tips to enjoy self-pleasure]

How to get in the mood when you just don’t feel like it

It happens, okay? Your partner is all horny and ready to do you and you’re just not feeling it. There are some ways you can get in the mood or make sure you’re ready to go if you have a romantic night planned.

1. Firstly, talk to your partner

You really want to make sure you’re communicating with your significant other when your libido has gone kaput. This lets them know you’re not in the mood for sex much but it can also tell them to up their foreplay game a little bit too.

Just make sure they’re aware so it’s not a surprise to them when you have to work a little harder to get you in the mood. Otherwise, they might think they’re the problem and that will do nothing good for your relationship. [Read: 14 steps for better communication in a relationship]

2. Level out your hormones

Hormones play a huge role in your sex drive. If they’re out of whack, your libido will also be unstable. Exercising and maintaining a diet full of healthy fats is a natural way to level out your hormones.

Birth control is also a great option but certain types can make your libido worst, so just keep that in mind. If you think that’s the case, chat with your doctor about possible alternatives. Dairy and meats highly processed with hormones can also be a problem.

3. Exercise more to learn how to get in the mood

Not only does exercise help regulate hormones, but it also increases your libido. The more you work out, the more you’ll want to have sex. It gets your blood flowing in ALL areas and that’s why it’s a great way to get you in the mood. [Read: 12 benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

4. Eat some aphrodisiacs

If you’re trying to figure how to get in the mood, keep an eye on what you eat. There are a lot of foods proven to increase your sex drive. Even though this might be a temporary fix, loading your system with foods that get your genitals warmed up is a great way to get you in the mood.

Things like chocolate, red wine, oysters, bananas, avocados, pomegranates, and even watermelon can leave you feeling horny. The more you eat, the more you’ll want to have sex. [Read: Aphrodisiacs and the lovers’ guide to eating well]

5. How to get in the mood? Put on something that makes you feel sexy

Often, all we really need is a little boost to make us feel sexier. When you slip into something that makes you feel confident and sexy, you’ll want it more. Throw on some lingerie or that outfit you know your partner wants.

6. Get a new sex toy

If your libido is shot, a sex toy might give you the excitement you need to have sex anyway. It’s the same idea behind buying a new outfit. If you really like it, you’ll be more likely to want to try it out right away.

This can work for your libido too. Order a sex toy and you’ll want to have sex right away just so you can give it a try. Obviously, this is more of a one-time fix but if you have the money to do this more, go for it. [Read: 13 must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first timers]

7. Have your partner get you in the mood

Let them take over. Foreplay is a huge part of sex and sometimes you just need to spend more time on it before getting to the main event. Give them the challenge of getting you in the mood.

8. Build the anticipation all day

Don’t just try to go right into sex when you’re not feeling it. That doesn’t build any excitement. How are you supposed to get in the mood for it this way? Try sexting or getting a little frisky in the morning only to cut it off and tell your significant other you can finish later.

Knowing you have something like that to go home to can keep you in the mood all day. Sexting also gets you in the mood and can build anticipation for the final release when you get home. [Read: 30 hot sexting examples to start a naughty text marathon]

9. Give each other an oil massage

There’s just something really erotic and sexy about being naked and having your partner rub you down with slick oils. It can definitely get you in the mood just through their touch.

But it’ll also get your sex drive going by reducing stress and reconnecting you with your body. Feeling someone’s touch on you in such a soothing way can make you really horny – especially if they hit all the right spots. [Read: The perfect romantic massage to turn your lover on]

10. Watch porn or use other visuals when learning how to get in the mood

Sometimes your brain just needs to be jump-started into thinking about sex. Porn is a perfect way to do just that. You and your significant other can even have some fun together.

Watch porn with each other and then try to act out all the moves. The visual of people having sex can do a lot to make you horny. That’s why people watch it to masturbate. Give it a shot or use other visuals to get in the mood. [Read: How watching porn might just save your relationship]

11. Have sex more often

Just forcing yourself to have sex even when you’re not completely in the mood can help. Once you get going, you’ll want it. Sometimes it just takes that little push. And the more you have sex, the more you’ll want it. It’s addicting in that way.

12. Work through whatever is stressing you out

If you’re feeling stressed then you’re probably not going to want to get down and dirty with your partner. That’s something we’ve already mentioned. So, the best way to sort out the problem is to identify what is stressing you out and to try and address the issue. Work through your stress and you may find that your libido comes back with serious power! [Read: 14 really quick stress busters to recharge your mind]

13. Are you getting enough sleep?

If you’re tired, the last thing you’re going to want to do is anything active! Make sure that you’re getting a good 7-8 hours of sleep every night and if you’re not, make some changes to your routine. Go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every day – that will reset and regulate your circadian rhythm, or body clock. Also, avoid social media or anything stimulating before bed – you need to be relaxed and chilled out.

14. Work out what makes you feel sexy

Perhaps you’ve put on a little weight and you’re not feeling your best. Maybe there’s something about your body right now that doesn’t make you feel sexy. Work out what does make you feel sexy and do more of that. Your body is beautiful and sexual, no matter its size or shape. Perhaps buy some lingerie or try soft lighting to give you more body confidence. [Read: How to pick the perfect lingerie]

15. Try masturbating

One of the best ways to learn how to get in the mood is to touch yourself and learn more about your body. Maybe you’ll find a new hotspot that makes you want to jump into bed with your partner and explore a bit more!

16. Seek treatment if your libido remains an issue

There are real health issues when it comes to your libido. Your hormone levels could be off and you might want to get things checked out to make sure you’re completely healthy.

If it’s a long-term problem, there are usually underlying issues that could be preventing you from feeling like having sex. Go visit a doctor and see what could be causing it so you can correct it. [Read: 12 safe and natural ways to increase your libido]

Learning how to get in the mood isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ deal

It’s easy to assume that learning how to get in the mood is easy. After all, you just think of something sexy and go with it, right? Well, no. It’s not something that has a set answer. Everyone is different. What you find sexy may not be sexy for another person. You have to find your own personal hotspot and explore it. See where it goes. Once you start to feel the stirrings of your libido kicking into action, that’s when you know you’ve struck sexual gold. 

[Read: 13 quick tips to get horny fast]

Knowing how to get in the mood when you’re just not feeling it can do amazing things for your sex life. The next time your partner wants to get busy but you’re just not in the mood, try some of these.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...