Nobody has ever said that they don’t want better sex. Here’s what you should be doing differently if you really want to achieve the best sex possible!
Nobody’s perfect in bed. That’s just the harsh reality of it. We will always want something more and something better. However, that doesn’t mean that we’ll never be happy or satisfied with the sex we’re having.
We’ve probably all tried searching for that special someone who we can just click with and end up magically having perfect sex with every time it happens. But honestly, that’s just not realistic. The movies make it seem so wonderful and so easily attainable, but it’s not.
Now, better sex is out there, but you’re probably thinking it’ll never happen for you. Am I right? In truth, better sex could be much closer than you may realize.
The key to having better sex
You don’t have to leave your current partner in order to have better sex. The truth is, you’ll have better sex with your current partner than you would by just picking up some random person from the club.
The problem with your sex might not have anything to do with your partner, but rather everything to do with yourself. If having better sex is your main goal right now, you should first start thinking about what you need to be doing differently. Here’s how you can transform your sex life into everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
#1 Address any problems. If you and your partner have any issues, even if they’re not related to sex, you need to get them squared away if you want your sex to be anything more than just okay. Having issues within your relationship can cause tension during sex, even if you don’t realize it.
Any pent up anger or resentment you have towards your partner could be at least part of the reason you’re not enjoying sex as much as you could be. Fix your issues first, then calmly and carefully let your partner know about anything that may be bothering you. [Read: Secrets of a love hate relationship – Can it work?]
#2 Communicate what you want. Don’t be afraid to hurt your lover’s feelings. Seriously! They want to please you just as much as you want to be pleased, but they can’t do that if they don’t know what you want. If you’re too afraid to voice your fantasies, try showing them instead. [Read: 3 sexy and easy ways to get what you want in bed!]
#3 Make sure you’re relaxed. If someone has tension in their body during sex, it’s going to prevent them from being pleased the way they want to be. Sex can reduce stress, sure. But if you use sex as a relaxation tool, it’s not going to be the best sex. So get a massage, read a book, or do whatever it is you need to in order to be fully relaxed before you dive between the sheets. [Read: The perfect romantic massage to turn your lover on]
#4 Be spontaneous. Unexpected sex is amazing for everybody. When you have spontaneous sex, it’s easier to let go of everything else and just focus on the moment at hand. It also adds a level of excitement to the act that you just can’t get when you’ve basically penciled sex into your schedule. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]
#5 Take your time. Why does it seem like people are always rushing to have sex and rushing for it to be over? It’s turned into one of those “get this over with” events that leave people unsatisfied and complaining. If you’re reading this, then I’m assuming this might be what it’s like for you. So slow down, take in the moment, and don’t rush for completion. [Read: 9 sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed!]
#6 Set the mood very early. Anticipation can be your best friend when it comes to amazing sex. Send a naughty text early in the day and then update it throughout the afternoon and that evening. Make sure your significant other knows what they’re in for the second you walk in the door. Looking forward to sex this much is going to make for one exciting night. [Read: 13 ways to make your bedroom more romantic]
#7 Try new positions. How can you have better sex if you’re always in the same position? It won’t be any better; it’ll just stay the same. So try out some new positions every time you have sex and you could very well find the winning position for both of you. [Read: 30-day sex challenge: 30 sex positions for 30 days]
#8 Stop thinking so much. If someone asks you what you’re thinking about during sex and you’re embarrassed to answer, not because of a saucy fantasy you’re having, but because you’re really thinking about laundry and other chores, your sex probably isn’t that great.
Every time your mind wanders to groceries, what’s for supper, or what’s wrong with your car, refocus your energy back on your significant other. You’ll be surprised at how much this little thing can change your sex life for the better.
#9 Please your partner. Did you know that couples who rank their sex life higher also rank their ability to please their partner higher as well? Since we’re all creatures that love making other people happy, if you please your partner, you will actually feel more pleasure yourself, too. So find out what they like and comply. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed!]
#10 Let go of your insecurities completely. This is one of the hardest parts about having sex, but it also tends to have the biggest effect in the long run. When you feel insecure about your body *especially women*, it’s hard to think only about the pleasure associated with sex.
Your mind probably wanders to all the things you think your partner is looking at and not liking, instead of all the things that they do love about your body. Learn to let go and watch your sex get better and better.
#11 Don’t rely on your partner to finish you off. I think we all put too much hope in our partners and their ability to get us off. The truth is that it’s more than just a “you help them, they help you” sort of deal.
You should each be helping each other and yourselves at the same time. This alleviates the pressure on them, and it will also help you to show them exactly what makes you tick. [Read: Going solo: The 15 sexy benefits of masturbation]
#12 Eliminate all distractions. Get rid of your phones, turn off the TV, and make sure no one else is in the house. All of these things have a tendency to distract us from sex. Ditch the devices so you can ditch your clothes.
#13 Feel connected to your partner. Having empty sex is never going to be as fulfilling as having sex with someone you care deeply about. Because you feel such a connection with the person, it’s going to make you care more about them, and they’ll care more about pleasing you as well.
So if there’s anything getting in the way of allowing yourself to fully connect with your significant other, find a way to fix it so you can have better sex. [Read: The 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]
#14 Focus on the good and forget the bad. Most of us have a tendency to focus on the stuff that’s not going well during sex. His hand is on my hair, her legs are in an awkward place—you get the idea. The problem with this is that it puts our minds in a negative frame, and that doesn’t make for good sex.
#15 Exercise more. Not only does exercising more increase your libido, but it also is scientifically proven to make you have better sex. You’ll be able to go longer and feel that much better about your body. So hit the weights and then hit the sheets. [Read: 10 things that can improve your dwindling sex drive]
Having better sex is up to no one but you. Get started implementing these 15 tips into your sex life if you really want to take your not-so-spicy sex to the next level.
