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The 10 Worst Bedroom Blunders that Women Commit

Making mistakes is fine, but making the same blunders over and over will guarantee some bedroom tension. Are you committing any of these mistakes? By Philip Hegarty

The 10 Worst Bedroom Blunders that Women Commit

You’d normally expect this kind of article to be written upon the sexual blunders of the male of the species, who seem to be the more common culprit when it comes to messing things up in intimate situations. However, it doesn’t take much in-depth conversation with guys upon the subject to realize that women are equally as guilty of performing their own common faux pas under the sheets. I know this is hard to come to terms with, girls. But you might not quite be the goddess in the bedroom that you believe you are!

The difference between guys and gals

Half of the problem with this kind of issue is that women tend to communicate their needs and concerns far more readily and effectively than men. It’s a physiological difference between the two genders that this article really doesn’t have the time to address here. What this means in practice is that a woman might be blissfully drifting along in the belief that she is a perfect, adored and flawless lover whereas, in actual fact, there is a lot of room for improvement that she is so far unaware of.

What women should quit doing in the bedroom

Below are some of the common mistakes women commit in the bedroom that men may not be so eager to point out. Though of course, men have different preferences when it comes to the bedroom, these mistakes are some of the most oft committed ones that majority of men do not appreciate.

#1 The gentle touch. I know what you’re thinking on this one, ladies – you’re thinking that some women are too rough with their lovers, catching places that they most definitely SHOULDN’T be catching with their teeth or nails or whatever else. Well, actually, it is the opposite that is being referred to here: the fact that many women are TOO gentle, especially with their hands.

Masturbating the male genitalia with too gentle a grip can have a somewhat desensitizing effect and is as likely to send it to sleep rather than over the edge. A firm grip focuses the blood into the head of the penis, making it more sensitive, and encourages blood flow into the length, keeping it at peak rigidity. Just remember not to throttle the life out of it – it’s a penis, not a spitting cobra. [Read: 8 naughty little moves every guy wishes you’d do]

#2 Hygiene. Again, not what you might be expecting. Women are usually highly aware of their personal hygiene, and a woman with issues along these lines in the nether regions is as rare as an honest car salesman. There is one issue that has cropped up, though, and it is an embarrassing one, so don your best anti-cringe hat ladies, because here it comes. The main offender is *drum roll* a less than perfectly cleaned bottom.

With a little bit of sex sweat passing through all the nooks and crannies and other fluids running free, a flip over into the doggy position can end up being a big turn off for the guy, when an instantly recognizable and very much unwanted scent slowly assails his olfactory nerves. Far be it from me to instruct anyone in the art of anal hygiene, but it wouldn’t hurt to dig in a little bit deeper than usual during your cleansings, especially when expecting sex, to ensure that the offending issue does not occur. [Read: 15 things that turn him off while having sex]

#3 The subtle art of the trim. I don’t need to tell any woman out there that a pubic mound like a Wookie’s armpit is wholly unacceptable. That’s pretty much common knowledge. However, if you’re going to trim or even shave completely, then do please keep on top of it. Differing lengths of stubble can not only prove unattractive but can cause a lot of discomfort to the object of your affections during the act itself.

In addition, it completely takes the fun out of oral sex for the guy who is more likely to be thinking about where he can find a gauze for his bleeding lips and tongue, rather than about bringing you to orgasm.

#4 Board. No, not spelt incorrectly. Unfortunately, some women have a tendency to turn into a seasoned plank of redwood, once presented with a man’s penis. No one’s saying that they don’t enjoy the act, it’s just that they seem to be struck mute and paralyzed, every time the possibility of sexual intercourse enters the field of immediate possibilities. A massive turn off for the guy involved, the redwood woman needs to start getting involved and showing a little animation – otherwise he may just put her out to seed! [Read: 10 foolproof sex tips women should know]

#5 Praise the piece. The ultimate minefield for every woman – penis size. It’s so difficult to get this right. Heap too much praise upon the owner of said prized possession, and he’s going to think you’re being disingenuous, or even sarcastic.

However, say nothing at all and he’s going to think that you’re trying to avoid mentioning how small it is. Drop an occasional reference in during lovemaking to show your appreciation for his member, but just avoid going on at unprecedented length about it or ignoring it altogether.

#6 Lip up. Not a reference to oral sex but to the tendency that some women have of talking throughout the act. Not talking dirty, you understand, but talking about their day, about what the neighbors have been doing, about what they need to buy for the house the next time they go shopping.

Any woman who commits this most basic of bedroom sins is lucky not to end up being kicked out of bed, or at least given up on. So ladies, if you’re one of those who loves a mid-coital chat, then it’s about time you learned to lip up and start showing a little more enthusiasm.

#7 The full critique. It’s a sign of a healthy and trusting relationship to be in a position where you are both comfortable telling each other what you would like out of sex and what you would like to change. Such constructive feedback is, however, very different from criticizing everything your partner does as inferior or inadequate.

Such vitriol is unlikely to improve his performance, and has every chance of creating the opposite effect. If a rein isn’t put on the offending tongue, then the guy in question is likely to look elsewhere for someone who can appreciate what he brings to the table – or at least help him change it. [Read: 10 things girls should never say to guys]

#8 Getting it wrong. Not the act… the name! It seems that a faux pas commonly associated with men is actually one that women keep getting wrong also, shouting out the name of their ex-lover or boyfriend during the act of lovemaking. An unforgivable insult, there is often no way back from this particular bedroom gaffe.

#9 Waiting it out. Women, it would seem, have a really bad habit of waiting for men to initiate sex. I guess that’s a response to certain cultural stereotypes regarding the role of the man, but sometimes even a guy needs to be assured that it’s not just he who has physical desires for the other half of the couple. Get involved ladies, and make sure you initiate the proceedings from time to time.

#10 The money-shot melodrama. There are a lot of women out there who actually enjoy the taste of semen. There are many more who don’t particularly enjoy it, but can tolerate it for the odd bout of oral sex. However, there are some who simply can’t abide the smell, taste or sight of it, and will often show this repulsion quite visibly through a lot of face pulling and series of silly screams of disgust.

This is a huge turn off for the guy involved, so if you really don’t want that stuff in your mouth, then withdraw from it at the crucial point and let the heavens have it instead. Everyone will be a lot happier that way.

[Read: 11 worst bedroom mistakes women make]

If you’ve identified any of these behaviors as your own, then you might want to start thinking about correcting them. If you haven’t, then you might want to let your boyfriend have a read – he may just tell you otherwise!

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Philip Hegarty
Currently reclining with a peaceful and contented smile upon his face, with perhaps just a hint of mystery and steely resolve, Philip Hegarty has an obviously i...
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