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How to Touch Yourself: 16 Touches that’ll Always Leave You Satisfied

If you don’t know how to touch yourself, then you don’t know how to turn yourself on. It’s time for a spot of sexual self-discovery – it begins today!

how to touch yourself

Several years ago, the idea of women masturbating was kept quiet. Of course, we all know it happened, but it wasn’t openly spoken about. Why is this? Why it is such a shame to learn how to touch yourself? There’s no shame in it! It’s a perfectly natural, normal, and extremely enjoyable thing to do!

From movies and popular culture, we were all aware that men masturbated. It’s unfortunate when you think about it. Both men and women masturbate, yet, when it comes to female masturbation, it’s a taboo subject. [Read: Female masturbation and 17 facts about this naughty secret]

But the thing is, whether or not we’re talking about it, women are masturbating. So why aren’t we talking about it? Even Sweden is trying to bring awareness and openness to the subject, calling female masturbation: Klittra. Not sure how we feel about that word, but never mind, it’s better than “flicking the bean.”

Why is masturbation important?

There is nothing shameful or embarrassing about masturbation. Thankfully, more and more TV shows are starting this conversation, with women openly talking about toys and the other solo fun they have. We need to do more – we need to make this mainstream. Why? Because we all do it! And if you’re not doing it, you need to start!

Masturbation is important because it teaches you what you enjoy in bed. Then, you can pass that information to your partner and enjoy a fulfilling and healthy sex life. Even if you don’t have a partner, masturbation allows you to enjoy sexual fulfillment on your own. Learning how to get yourself off releases tension, increases happiness, and it feels pretty damn good too! [Read: 12 Fun ways to masturbate & experience pleasure in a whole new way]

Learning how to touch yourself in the right way is a personal thing. What you enjoy, another woman may gain nothing from. But, that’s not the point. The point is that you’re focusing on yourself, learning about your body, and building confidence, sexually and otherwise.

It’s time to learn how to touch yourself

For women who want to masturbate, finding articles and videos about it isn’t easy. Sure, porn may give you a little sneak peek into what it’s about, but those videos aren’t giving you an honest perspective on female masturbation.

So, if you want to learn how to touch yourself, it’s time for real information that can help you reach the big O. By the big O, we mean orgasm. With some time and lots of practice, you’ll get there.

So, read the rest of this feature, and by the end, you’ll have the foundation to help you masturbate the right way. Ladies, it’s time you learned how to touch yourself. [Read: How to finger yourself and feel ecstasy]

1. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach

You may have tried to copy porn videos or used the advice your friends gave you, but if it’s not working for you, don’t sweat it. When it comes to sexuality, we all enjoy different things. Some women get turned on with anal play, while others need clitoral stimulation. You just need time to find your groove. [Read: How to masturbate – 15 self-pleasure tips for women]

2. Make sure you’re in the mood

Masturbation can help relax you after a stressful day at work or put you even in a better mood than you were before. But if you’re not feeling sexual, don’t push yourself to masturbate. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not feeling sexual, some days you’ll feel extremely horny, and other days, you’ll feel nothing.

3. Get to know your vagina

You should know your vagina better than your best friend or family. This is your sexual region, so you better know it well. Know where the vulva, clitoris, and vagina is. Understand their functions. Explore the area with a mirror or your fingers. Just get to know your vagina because this is what’s going to be giving you a lot of pleasure. [Read: Clitoris stimulation: 10 sexy ways to please it the right way]

4. Find a distraction-free space

If you’re nervous your parents are going to walk into your bedroom, you won’t have a relaxing experience. You need to have a distraction-free experience. Put your phone away, make sure people aren’t going to disrupt you, and that you have enough time to really get into it. 

5. Practice makes perfect

You’re not going to master the art of touching yourself if you do it every leap year. What did your mom use to tell you? “Practice makes perfect!” She probably didn’t think you were going to use this quote for masturbating, but you should follow her advice. You need to practice touching yourself, seeing what stimulates you, and what isn’t doing the trick. [Read: Mutual masturbation: 14 Intimate ways to connect without touching]

6. Start with dry humping

Before your hands even make it near your vagina, try dry humping with your clothes on. Use a pillow or anything soft to grind your vulva against it. It’ll work by creating friction against your clitoris, you’ll feel a tingling sensation. From there, you should continue grinding against the object, testing out different pressures and positions. You’ll find a rhythm that stimulates you the best. [Read: Pillow humping 101 – Give that pillow a workout]

7. It’s time to get handsy

You have two hands for a reason – to learn how to touch yourself. You probably know about dildos and vibrators, but before you use one of them, use your hands first. We’re not saying toys are bad, but you don’t want to become dependent on them.

So, take the organic approach first and learn the speeds, pressure, and technique which turns you on. Then, you can experiment with toys to take it to the next level.

8. Turn your attention to your clitoris

Once you become a seasoned masturbator, you’ll know exactly what turns you on. As for now, the best way to arouse yourself is through clitoral stimulation. This is because the clit is filled with thousands of nerve endings. It’s the most sensitive part of your genitals. Massage your clit gently, rubbing it up and down, side to side. Then, start rubbing faster once you feel yourself getting wetter. [Read: How to stimulate the clitoris by touching it the right way]

9. Test out different techniques

There are different techniques for masturbation, try out some of these different strokes:

– Rub your clitoris with multiple fingers or your entire hand.

– Don’t directly touch your clit, instead, with one finger, circle around it.

– With your underwear on, rub your clitoris above the fabric. [Read: Men’s guide to buying lingerie – Picking the perfect one]

– Pull on your labia, rubbing your clitoris through the folds.

– Tap your clitoris with one or two fingers.

10. If you’re feeling a little dry, use some lube. Or, use it anyway!

Your vagina may not become too wet which is okay. If you’re feeling it needs a little more moisture down there, then use some lubricant. It’ll help your finger glide smoothly across your clitoris, adding more sensitivity and stimulation. You can even use lube if you’re feeling pretty wet anyway. Lube makes everything feel better! [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]

11. Experiment with anal play

You don’t need to try this out on your first day, but with time, if you’re curious about your butt, then experiment on your own. You can circle your anus with your finger, press up against your anus with your finger or insert your finger inside your anus. Just make sure you’re using some lube.

12. Take the focus away from having an orgasm

We know you want to experience an orgasm, and you will in time, but it shouldn’t be the focus. When you’re touching yourself, if the entire goal is an orgasm, you won’t have one. You need to be present in the moment and if you have an orgasm, you have one. [Read: Female orgasm denial: The step-by-step guide to hold back & explode]

13. Graduate to using toys

After you’ve become comfortable with masturbating naturally, you can always up the arousal factor by using a toy. You can test out a dildo or vibrator. You may have to try a couple of them before finding one which really does the trick. But remember, don’t rely on sex toys for all your pleasure, make sure you mix it up. You can easily buy toys online these days and they arrive at your door in discreet packaging – nobody will know! [Read: Understanding how to use a dildo correctly]

14. Don’t forget the rest of your body

Don’t focus solely on your vagina and clitoris, move your hands around your body and see what feels good. Touch your breasts, massage them, do whatever you feel you want to do. This is your time and your body, there are no rules here. Use this time to explore your body and become familiar with it. Learn to love what it can do for you!

15. Use female-friendly porn to get you in the mood

If you’re struggle with staying in the mood or even getting into it, why not try some female-friendly porn titles? These are far more female focused than the regular types you’ve probably seen or heard about. Some are even directed by women. Explore what works for you and give it a try. You never know, you might even enjoy it! [Read: The best 15 female-friendly porn sites that are tinglingly perfect]

16. Be patient

You’re not going to achieve an orgasm overnight. In fact, it may take months and months just for you to figure out what feels good. It takes time, what can we say? You just need to be patient and keep practicing.

Remember to use what you learn

Once you’ve become used to masturbating and your confidence is sky rocketing, it’s time to use what you’ve learned. When you’re in bed with your partner, tell them what you like. Go on, you can do it! If that’s a little scary for you, why not simply move their hand to where you want it to be and show them how you like to be touched? If that doesn’t work, just give them a preview and get them to carry on! [Read: 3 Sexy and easy ways to get what you want in bed]

Being able to take control and tell your partner what you want in bed is extremely sexy and very empowering. Remember, sexual enjoyment isn’t only for men! You’re allowed to get yours, in fact you SHOULD get yours! Your partner will be over the moon that you’ve given them the information they need to get you off and from there, you can build your sexual confidence even more.

[Read: Going solo: The 15 sexy benefits of masturbation]

As a woman, it’s your job to make sure you’re sexually satisfied. So, follow these tips the next time you’re touching yourself and you won’t be disappointed.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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