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How Long Should Sex Really Last? The Real Score!

How long do you like your sex sessions to last? We’re looking at men and women’s sexual preferences for how long you should last in the sack!

how long should sex last?

Do you like the idea of making love all night long, complete with sweaty, writhing bodies, and sheet-gripping orgasms? How about a naughty quickie in the morning with your partner fresh out of the shower, wanting you so bad that they have to take you before they even have time for morning coffee? Both scenarios could tickle anyone’s fancy.

This vast difference in sexual preference must be called into question: What is the ideal sex timeframe? An idealistic hour, a quickie couples of minutes, or 10 minutes plus foreplay? Does the ideal sex time differ based on gender? While the perfect length of intercourse may vary from couple to couple, we’ve found that there are some gender-based misconceptions worth bringing up.

Some sex experts swear by the old standby that the average length of sexual intercourse *foreplay not included* was anywhere from a mere 5 to a sad 7 minutes! And the alleged ideal time for shagging? 13 minutes. Can these staggering facts really be true? We’re looking at how long men and women want their average intercourse to take.

How long do men want sex to last?

Are you under the assumption that men are only out for their own sexual gratification and couldn’t care less about how long they last for their lady loves? If so, you are, or are probably dating, a selfish douchebag! In the book The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown Ups, author Harry Fisch reports that up to 45% of men believe they finish too early in the sack and even feel guilty about it!

In fact, one study in the same book mentions that both men and women desire both foreplay and intercourse to last much longer than it actually does. Another fascinating tidbit? One survey reveals that 50% of men desire for sex to last 30 minutes or more!

Ideal duration of sex for women

According to a 2014 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, women desired their sessions of foreplay to last at least 19 minutes before getting down and dirty with penetration. How long does it actually last? Researchers suggest males give an average of 11 minutes of their attention to foreplay before going for the full thing. [Read: 12 questions about female sexuality finally answered]

This same 2014 study revealed that women would prefer penetrative sex to last an average of 23 minutes *definitely a far stretch from 5 minutes!*. This is unsurprising, considering women take much longer to reach orgasm than men do.

In fact, MensHealth reports that it takes the average woman anywhere from 15-40 minutes to come! Why? Women need a focused mind frame, consistent rhythm, and clitoral attention to climax – all of these elements being essential in foreplay and intercourse, meaning the more time spent revving her up the better! [Read: What women really want in bed but are too shy to ask]

The real deal

There are statistics for everything these days! So what’s the truth? How long should sex really last? The answer? As long as it takes! Unless you’re purposely going for a *generally unsatisfying to the female* morning quickie, sex should last as long as it takes for both participants to orgasm.

Lasting in bed: advice for him

If you’re a guy who wishes he could last longer in the sack, there are various methods of delayed ejaculation to try. Basically, if you’re jerking off or thrusting inside your partner and you start to feel your climax draw near – STOP! Keep stopping every time you feel the urge to come. [Read: How to last longer during sex without any difficulty]

Eventually with this method, you should start to build up a tolerance and be able to last longer. If this still isn’t working, take a fun trip with your gal to the local sex shop. There you’ll be able to find orgasm delaying creams, gels, and cock rings that are sure to make you last longer.

If you’re still having trouble lasting as long as you’d like, try spending more time making your partner orgasm through other means, such as with a sex toy, orally, or with your hand. As long as you’re making the effort to give your partner an orgasm, the time you last during intercourse will be less of an issue! [Read: 20 easy ways to keep an erection up for longer]

Getting off: advice for her

Is your man lasting and lasting, and you still can’t get there? Try throwing some sex toys into the mix, such as the Pocket Rocket, or make sure either you or your partner is rubbing your clit in a consistent rhythm for the duration of the ride! If you’re still having problems, try getting on top and riding your partner in a grinding motion. One last tip? The more lube you have on your vulva and clit, the better! [Read: The sensual art of using your fingers to keep yourself aroused]

So there we have it, the ins and outs of sex and ticking time bombs! How long is the ideal lovemaking session for you and your lover? Let us know your perfect length of lovin’ and how you pull it off in the comments below!

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Waverly Smith
Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that people...
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