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Cybersex: The Ins and Outs of What It Is and How to Do It Right

Now that technology is here to stay, you’ve probably heard of cybersex. Maybe you’ve done it before but you didn’t know the name, it’s time to learn.


You know, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of cybersex. But now that we have all these different methods of communication like Snapchat, texting, voice messaging, and video chat, the terms that are being used for cybersex change on a daily basis.

But basically, cybersex is any form of online communication that’s sexually oriented. So, for example, if you’re webcamming someone with your penis out of your pants, you’re having cybersex. If you’re sending nude photos, that’s cybersex or if you’re texting how you’re going to fuck them, that’s cybersex.

Your guide to cybersex

It’s a lot under one little word, right? But that’s what cybersex is. Before it was only involving computer, but now we have smartphones and tablets which are also included when we talk about cybersex. Just wait until we become even more technologically advanced, what could be next? Anyways, I’m here to give you the 411 on everything you need to know about cybersex and how to have it.

It doesn’t have to be as awkward as you think it is.

#1 If you don’t know the person, try to see who they are. You don’t have to know the person you’re having cybersex with. Some people end up meeting online in a chat room and then the next thing you know, they’re having cybersex. But, for your own safety, you do want to try to figure out if this person is actually who they say they are. [Read: 9 ways to avoid online creeps and their creepy ways]

#2 If you’re going to send videos/photos leave your face out of it. The last thing you want is any situation which includes you being blackmailed. If you’re going to send photos or videos, just keep your face out of it. If they’re asking you for a photo with your face, you need to really think about where you’re sending it and who’s on the other side of the computer/phone. [Read: Catfishing! 13 instant signs to recognize an online faker instantly]

#3 Sexting is hard. If you’re just starting to sext, listen, unless you’re a writer, it’s not easy. In fact, it’s going to take you a while for you to get the hang of things. It’s not like the person is in front of you, so you’ll need to use your imagination and really concentrate on what you’re picturing in your head. [Read: 16 effortless tips to sext the right way, all the time]

#4 Use voice messaging. People have a love/hate relationship when it comes to voice messaging. I can say that everyone loves to get a steamy hot voice message. You can tell them what you want to do to them or tell them what you want to be done to you. And the best part is, you can do whatever you want during that voice message. If you want to masturbate, go right ahead.

#5 Use emojis. Okay, don’t use emojis in the entire conversation but don’t be scared to have fun by throwing one in there from time to time. People tend to take sex too seriously. So, relieve the pressure off of you both by lightening up the mood with a couple emojis.

#6 Bring on the foreplay. You can actually use cybersex as a great way to start the foreplay. Regardless if you meet them in real life or not. Use photos, voice messages, and steamy texts as a way to develop the foreplay. [Read: Random questions to ask to start something naughty]

#7 Take your time. If you’re nervous about having cybersex with someone you like, remember, they’re not actually in front of you. You don’t have to rush, you have all the time in the world. So, just relax. You can go somewhere quiet to think of what you’re going to say or take a couple minutes and make yourself tea. See? There shouldn’t be any pressure.

#8 Know what you’re getting into. You’re probably not going to marry this person, or maybe you are, who am I to say you won’t. But for your own sanity, you should probably assume that this cyber relationship won’t go anywhere. And if it does, great. But, don’t have expectations. You need to assume this is cybersex.

#9 Be creative. Remember, this person isn’t in front of you. So, you have full range to be as creative and imaginative as you want. You may be in your old pajamas but to this person, you’re wearing black lace underwear with a matching bra. Do you see what I mean? If you’re exchanging photos, it’s different. With sexting, you can go wild. [Read: 14 sexy tips for sexting like a pro]

#10 Consent still exists online. People forget that on the other side of the computer or phone is another person who has feelings and thoughts. So, asking someone for consent is always a good idea. If you want to send them a photo, ask them first. Of course, if you always send each other photos, that’s different. But when it’s your first time, ask.

#11 Explore your sexual fantasies. Why else have cybersex if you’re not going to use it to your advantage. Go ahead and explore your sexual fantasies. This is all happening online. So, you don’t have to be nervous about having actual sex because you’re not going to. If you’re curious about BDSM, then sext with someone who is into that.

#12 Tease them. You don’t have to rush into it and show this person everything you have within the first five minutes. Take your time and build up the sexual tension. The hottest and most arousing thing you do is build up the anticipation. You know this person wants you, so why rush? [Read: 15 tantalizing ways to blow your lover’s mind]

#13 Don’t limit yourself. This is the cyber world. You don’t have to have one person that you sext with until you die. You can have cybersex with as many people as you want, of course, you just have to be safe. Once you find someone you sexually match with, then you can decide if you want to continue with the other people or not.

[Read: Can you have a real relationship only online?]

So, now that you know what to do, the next time you have cybersex, follow these tips. It’ll make the whole event much sexier and less awkward.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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