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Sloppy Sex: So Many Reasons It’s Really Not Fun at All

Sloppy sex may be a funny urban term, but there is nothing funny about waking up remorseful, or worse yet, hurt. If you can’t remember it, why do it?

Sloppy Sex

Sex is not supposed to be neat and clean, but sloppy sex is something completely different. According to Urban Dictionary, sloppy sex is, “intercourse involving a lot of bodily fluid and fumbling; often condom-free and/or the result of inebriation.”

There are times when you should throw caution to the wind and just go with the flow, and then there are times when – even if you want to go through with it – you should stop or press pause before you make a mistake. Sloppy sex might sound funny, but many negative consequences can come from it.

Top 10 reasons to say no to sloppy sex

Sloppy sex isn’t just something that you wake up feeling regretful about; it is something that can alter your life. It doesn’t sound all that serious, because I mean who didn’t enjoy a sloppy joe or two growing up?

The difference is that some silly, stupid, drunken sex is something that can come back to haunt you. And, it can make you feel a little slutty. At worst, it can lead to long-term health concerns. If you need a reason to stop and take a breath before having sloppy sex, these are the best 10 reasons to that.

#1 You lay down with dogs you get fleas. An oldie but a goodie. What that means is if you aren’t careful and lay down wherever you fall, it may mean that you take away more “ick” than what you contributed.

If you are going to have sloppy sex, consider that even if you use protection, there are other things you can bring home. In my rational opinion, you shouldn’t never lay down somewhere unless you know what lurks beyond the surface. [Read: 10 sober reasons why drunken sex is never a good idea]

#2 Pregnancy is no fun. I am going to be honest, because I am the mother of six children. Not only is pregnancy not fun, raising them isn’t that much fun either at times.

That is especially the case if it is thrust upon you with someone you don’t know well enough to go through the process with. That doesn’t even include the fact that you can’t party, be stupid, or make your own decisions for nine months… wait actually, 18 plus years *per kid*. [Read: Pulling out is completely safe and other really bad sex advice]

#3 It can the ruin the hope of a relationship. If you like someone and want to have any chance of having a long-term relationship with them, that is less likely to happen if you wake up after having sloppy sex and doing the walk of shame.

Sloppy sex is something that doesn’t spell out “wife material.” If you want someone to have respect for you, that typically doesn’t happen when you wake up smelling like sex and with lube all over you.

#4 You aren’t making a conscious decision. When you want to become intimate with someone, then what is the point if you are so drunk that not only do you not remember it, but you also didn’t even enjoy it.

Whether you are a girl or a guy, what fun comes from becoming vulnerable with someone and not even remembering it? Sex is supposed to feel really, really good. If you are so drunk that you can’t be responsible enough to say “no,” there’s not much that you are feeling except numb. [Read: Top 10 most common one night stand mistakes]

#5 The worst thing to happen may not be a pregnancy. Okay, so we don’t hear that much about HIV anymore, but sexual diseases are rampant. If you think that all it takes is a little antibiotic and you are all good, that is not the case.
There are all sorts of diseases that you can contract when having sex with someone unprotected.

From HPV to herpes, sloppy sex may sound hot, but having hot sores in your genital region after being with a someone, is not.

Think twice before you have sloppy sex. Even with a condom, there is stuff, juice, and fluids everywhere. [Read: STDs 101 – The most common types and their clear symptoms]

#6 It won’t get you revenge. Some people engage in sloppy sex because they are trying to get back at someone. Newsflash… you aren’t getting back at anyone if you end up in trouble or feeling poorly about yourself.

There are better ways of getting back out there than getting drunk and having sex with someone. The best revenge is not to degrade yourself by having meaningless sex. It is by finding someone to have the most meaningful sex ever, like someone you love. [Read: Revenge sex – My own experience and the lessons I learned]

#7 You can ruin your chances with someone else. You know that whole saying, “it’s a small world?” Do you know why it exists? Because it really is a small world. There are not many things you can do without them coming back to haunt you. Sloppy sex, although done while drunk, silly, and having fun, isn’t much fun when it comes back to bite you.

There is always the possibility that pictures are taken, stories are told, or someone can hear about your lucid night and put the pieces together when they meet you. Everything, and I mean everything, eventually comes back around. Karma is a bitch – and so is the girl or guy who can’t keep their mouth shut.

#8 You’re worth more. Sure, meaningless sex might be fun, but when you wake up, sober up, and have to walk home with the same clothes on that you wore the night before, you may have to stop and analyze who and what you are.

Sex may be just sex, at least that is what most of today’s media keep telling us. But there are still some of us who believe it is about something more than getting drunk and deciding, why not?

I know, you are thinking that I am old. I get it. But, just give it a sober, rational, thought before you wake up wondering what you did the night before and who the guy or girl next to you is. [Read: The worst people you can have a one night stand with]

#9 You might lose the person you love. When you are drunk, and that sexual tension gets hot, you might be tempted to cheat on the person you love. When you aren’t in your right mind, another girl or guy may look a lot better than what you have going on.

But, waking up in the morning to realize that you hurt someone you love by being with someone you barely know or care about, feels really shitty. [Read: Just sex? 10 reasons why sex is never ever “just sex”]

#10 It is dangerous. I know I am being a “Debbie Downer,” but if you are going somewhere to have sloppy sex, chances are good that you aren’t really sure where you are headed, or you are inviting someone you don’t know very well into your home.

That is just plain dangerous. Sloppy sex sounds funny and cool, but there is nothing cool about putting yourself in a position of danger. Even if you think you know your casual sex mate, being alone in a strange place is simply not a good idea.

I have never been the one-night-stand girl. Not because of some moral high ground that I have, trust me on that. I don’t judge! It’s just that I’ve made some poor decisions in my lifetime and know that the biggest ones can happen when you aren’t thinking things through.

[Read: No strings attached – 17 important guidelines for NSA sex]

Sloppy sex might sound fun, but getting hurt physically, emotionally, or otherwise, is not. So the next time you are considering having sloppy sex, stop and reconsider.

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Julie Keating
A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined in...
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