With the occasional queef, weird angles, and all the other stuff that goes hand in hand with it, let’s face it, sex can be embarrassing!
No one gets through life without embarrassment from time to time. When it comes to sex, we’ve all had our share of cringe-worthy moments. No matter how much we’d love to believe that sex always unfolds the way it does in a romance film *you know, soft lighting, perfect orgasms, and all that* when it comes to real life, our sexual encounters are quite often far from it. For example, if you queef or make another embarrassing noise during sex.
Sex rarely unfolds in a smooth and perfect way. It can be messy, awkward, things can go wrong, it hurts, your body does weird things that you have no control over, and generally not be how you imagined it. However, what’s important is to talk about these things. And dare we say it, even try to laugh at them?
Why you shouldn’t be embarrassed by a queef during sex
The more we are aware and okay with all the weird and wonderful things that can ‘go wrong’ during sex, the more enjoyable it can be. If we just get over it and on board with the idea that sex doesn’t always have to be romantic, perfect, or beautiful we actually relax, have more fun, and when things do go a little awry, be prepared for them and recover more easily.
Sex shouldn’t have to come to a grinding halt just because something embarrassing happens, in fact, if you stopped and died of shame every time, you’d probably never end up having good sex at all.
So, with that in mind let’s look at some of the most common embarrassing things that happen during sex!
#1 Not orgasming. When we first start thinking about sex, we imagine that each and every time we’ll be able to reach the heady heights of a mind-blowing orgasm. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always quite work out the way we planned.
For both guys and girls not orgasming during sex is quite common. Sometimes it might just be that you or your partner have an off day, sometimes it might still be super fun and satisfying but you don’t quite get there. Either way it’s nothing to worry about! [Read: How to relax during sex and enjoy your orgasms]
#2 Orgasming too soon. Obviously coming too quickly can be embarrassing for some. For men, it can be particularly frustrating, and obviously a little disappointing for your partner! But hey, it really does happen to everyone so just laugh about it and try again when you’ve recovered! [Read: How long we want sex to last vs. how long we actually last]
#3 Pain. Sex can be painful sometimes if you get the wrong angle or just aren’t quite in the mood or you do a thrust a bit too vigorously and so on! If it hurts, it’s okay to say so. In fact, it’s important that you do. Remember, taking your time and lots of foreplay, as well as using lube, often helps sex be smoother and less painful too.
#4 Weird positions. Got lofty ambitions of mastering every position in the Kama Sutra? Good for you! Just remember that some of them will have you bending in ways you never thought you could! Remember to take it easy and if a position isn’t working for you it’s okay to give up and try something else instead!
#5 Someone walking in. Oh, the shame! Whether it’s your best mate, a total stranger, or your gran, getting caught in the act can be pretty embarrassing. It’s good to try and laugh these things off—even if it is your mum, she’ll get over it eventually—promise!
#6 Weird noises. Weird noises are just part and parcel of sex. Whether that’s the involuntary grunt you make when you orgasm or the squelching noise when you get into a rhythm. It’s all normal and fine, and while it might make you want to cringe, just know that it happens to everyone.
#7 Queefing. Ah, the big one! A queef, otherwise known as fanny farting during sex, is something girls dread. Unfortunately, because air pockets can be created as your man thrusts in and out of you, the queef is pretty common. There isn’t a darn thing you can do about a queef. The best remedy? Laughter! Laughing and having fun during sex really is okay. [Read: All the embarrassing, untold details of queefing]
#8 Injuring yourself. Falling off the bed, banging your heads together, straining a muscle—we’ve all been there. Try to take it easy and only turn it into an acrobatic performance if you feel comfortable and bendy enough to do so.
#9 Bleeding. Bleeding can happen during sex for a number of reasons. It might be your first time, you are about to start or are coming to the end of your period. Bleeding during sex can be messy, but it really is fine. If there is unexpected blood, and you are in pain, stop and seek medical attention though.
#10 Having the safe sex conversation. Practicing safe sex unless you want a baby is really important. Don’t be embarrassed to have that conversation before you and your partner get down to it. It benefits you both in the long run.
#11 Condoms splitting. While you might be super vigilant sometimes condoms split or come off or get lost you know where. Try not to panic and take the necessary precautions to make everything okay. [Read: The newbie’s complete guide to using condoms]
#12 The wet spot. Sex is a messy business. When you are done you might notice wet patches on the bed, this could be from the guy or the girl and are perfectly normal. So don’t worry about them.
#13 Talking dirty. If you or your partner like a bit of dirty talk that’s great though sometimes one of you might take it too far, not know what to say, or just come out with something plain weird! Just remember, laughter is the best medicine! [Read: How to dirty talk and turn your lover on like no one else]
#14 Gagging. Gagging when performing oral sex is quite common. Try to mix up what you are doing so you don’t gag too much. Remember if you are not enjoying it, just stop.
#15 Going limp. For guys, going limp feels mortifying. The ladies wonder if they have done something wrong. Lots of guys lose their erections during sex or can’t get it up in the first place—this happens for a million and one reasons. If it really affects your sex life or happens over and over again, talk to your health professional to get to the root cause. [Read: 20 ways to fix a limp penis as a couple]
#16 The wrong hole. Accidentally going up the wrong hole is more common than you think and can be a little, ahem, surprising. If it happens just apologize and move on. It’s not a really big deal after all.
#17 Sweating. Sex is pretty vigorous exercise. If you overheat or sweat a lot try throwing off the covers or opening a window. Or just embrace it, sweaty sex can be good!
#18 Shouting something out that you shouldn’t. If you say the wrong name or shout something weird out in the throes of passion try to stay cool. It can be embarrassing and maybe put your partner in a bit of a mood, but they’ll get over it eventually! [Read: 23 remarks that are a total sex buzzkill]
#19 Suggesting something that horrifies the other person. Being comfortable enough to share your fantasies with someone is great. If you are into something they are not, move on. They shouldn’t really be judging you after all, nor you them!
So, there we have it. This just about covers many of the embarrassing things that go awry when you have sex. They may seem pretty dire, and the idea of them happening to you might be dreadful. However, let’s be realistic. The chances are that the more you have sex the more likely you’ll experience any of the above.
[Read: 15 things that happen during sex that make you want to hide in shame]
The trick when it comes to all embarrassing sex stuff *including the queef* is simply not to care. Instead just laugh, try to fix it, or stop if you want to—that’s all okay.
