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Morning Boners: What They Are and Why We Love Them

Morning wood, pee-boner, morning stiffy, or NARB *no apparent reason boner*. They go by many names but what are they? We unlock the mystery.

morning boners

Ladies, ever wake up with your man and get a “big” surprise when you cuddle?

We’re talking about morning erections, a rather mysterious phenomenon when your man wakes up with a sudden hard-rock penis.

Does it mean he had a rather raunchy dream? Or does he really just have the hots for you? Does seeing you next to him turn him on? Was he fantasizing about you *or, heaven forbid, someone else* while he was sleeping? Or is there just something wrong with him down there?

What is it, really?

Before you rack your brain out about his wanker, let us give you the deets on his dick and why it’s all up and about even before he wakes up. [Read: 7 easy ways to trick your mind into having sexy arousing dreams]

The hard facts on the morning hard-on

Morning wood is technically called nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT). It occurs naturally in every guy throughout his life. This tumescence happens three to five times every night and lasts around thirty minutes each time, during periods of rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep. This is the time when most dreams happen, but his flag coming up at full mast really have no connection to his dreams. In fact, there are rare occasions when older men get their monkey up even during non-REM sleep.

What really causes these spontaneous stiffies is a combination of testosterone and brain activity. According to scientists, the nerves in the penis release nitrous oxide, which dilates the nearby blood vessels in the region, causing increased blood flow that then causes the erections. This is also the body’s natural way to properly oxygenate the penile tissue. This phenomenon occurs in most other male mammals, as well.

And if that’s not enough, women get some sort of REM-induced engorgement as well. Our clitorises and vaginas get pretty puffed up, but it’s not as obvious—and showy—as that of men’s.

So let’s go back to the male mast, shall we? [Read: Weird penis – 10 freaky behaviors that are actually totally normal]

Why we love the morning wood

For starters, who doesn’t like to wake up to a hot guy with a hot rod all up and ready for action?

However, there’s really more to the wakey wanker than meets the eye. Here we list nine reasons why we just love our men’s morning wood.

#1 It’s exercise for his penis. First of all, his pole pops up at night and in the morning because it’s his body’s way of, say, weight training. In fact, it’s the only part of the body that can hold in blood for long periods of time. If you tie a tourniquet around your leg or arms for thirty minutes, you are going to have a serious problem. However, it’s no problem for the penis. Those morning boners are his body’s way of telling the penis how to do its job.

#2 It’s a great showcase of his “talent.” Well, hello! There’s nothing like waking up next to a man with a stiffy. Plus it’s a great way for him to get a compliment or two about how manly and stiff he is. After all, it’s one of those moments when he is as hard as ever—to the surprise and pleasure of his lover. [Read: 8 stiff facts about morning wood and why guys get them]

#3 You like to rub up against his poker. Admit it, you like first-thing-in-the-morning spooning and cuddling. It’s also an extra treat when you suddenly get poked by your man’s monkey-stick when he wraps his arms around you. And of course, who wouldn’t want to reach down there and give the “little one” *pardon the pun* a little pat.

#4 He can wake you up with it. Aside from waking up to see your engorged mate, there’s nothing more pleasurable than having your guy wake you up with it. Poking, prodding, or the simple act of him grabbing your hand and rubbing it against him—it’s all enough to give you a wonderful, and not to mention titillating, wake-up call.

#5 He can make a tent with it. There are a lot of things a man can do with his dick, especially when it’s hard. It’s like he has his very own personal toy, which he can just take out and wiggle about. One great thing he can do with his morning boner is to make a tent with it.

#6 You can hang stuff up there. Another great thing a man can do with his morning wood is to hang stuff on it and just give the two of you a great laugh before you head on to the morning rush. Depending on how stiff and strong his wood is, you can hang your panties, shirt, or even a towel on it.

#7 You can just admire it while he sleeps. You ever wonder if dicks have a mind of their own? We bet you do, especially in the wee hours of the morning when you wake up to see him sleeping yet stiff. You may even have talked to it at some point, stroked and petted it like it was something alive in itself—all while your man is sleeping. If you haven’t, well, start doing it now. The morning is a perfect time to bond with his boner and just admire it while your man soundly sleeps. [Read: 18 fascinating and unknown penis facts you need to know]

#8 It strengthens attachment. On a more serious, more scientific, note, the morning erection is, as we mentioned earlier, a natural manifestation of his overall testosterone buildup. It is during this period that he also has higher levels of vasopressin, a hormone that promotes emotional attachment. So if the sight of his manly mast up and ready for “sailing” is making your morning extra s-w-e-e-t, then express your gratitude for this phenomenon called NPT and give your man a hug.

#9 Of course—morning sex! There’s nothing like rubbing up on his already-hard dick to make you extra horny. After all, who wouldn’t want to shag a shag-ready schlong like that? One of the best things about the morning wood—and we bet both men and women would agree—is that it invites morning sex. And great sex it is. This is because his morning boner can also help increase his bedroom stamina, making sex last longer and be more pleasurable at this time of day. Consequently, morning sex also offers a plethora of other great benefits, such as giving you both a mood booster and stronger immune system as you go through the rest of your day.

So there you have it, the four-one-one on men’s glorious morning boners.

[Read: 10 reasons why you should have morning sex much more often]

If you wake up with your man always having a tent on his mid-section, don’t be confused, don’t panic, don’t freak out, and don’t think he was fantasizing about you or someone else in his sleep. This is just part of how his body works. And you might just as well make the most of it! Enjoy!

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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