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Meaningless Sex: What It Is, How to Have One & 16 Signs You’re Ready

As appealing as meaningless sex seems at times, do you really need it? Here’s all you need to know before giving it a go.

Meaningless Sex

Are you considering trying meaningless sex? Are you debating with yourself if it’s actually right for you? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to try new things and explore while you’re still young. However, it’s true that some just shouldn’t be having pointless sex with random people they don’t know.

And on the other hand, some people can do it whenever they want without any issues. What you have to figure out is which type of person you are. And that completely depends on where you are in life and what you’re going through emotionally.

[Read: How to hook up with a girl, pick the right one & 30 must-know secrets]

What is meaningless sex

Let’s start by defining sex. It’s not only referring to penetration, sex can also be any meaningful act of pleasure. Handjob, oral, sex toy use, and more. Meaningless sex typically refers to any act of pleasure with another or more people that are no strings attached, no expectation of commitment or exclusivity. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex & reasons why he’s only using you for fun]

For some, meaningless sex is the sex that happens with a stranger they met at a bar or on a dating app. For others, meaningless sex can be friends with benefits as well. It doesn’t matter how you meet, how long you’ve known each other, and how often you do it. It’s the fact that you’re genuinely not expecting the situation to develop into something more.

[Read: Why some love sex & some couldn’t care less]

Why people have meaningless sex

Just because someone enjoys having meaningless sex doesn’t mean they should be condemned. Society has conditioned us to believe that sex has to have an emotional meaning to be good, but it’s perfectly okay to just want to have fun. Meaningless sex helps you discover what you do and don’t like in bed. You can also explore different sexual aspects that you might not be able to in a more serious relationship. 

Sex boosts endorphins and feel-good hormones. So, many people can fall into its trap and use it as a way to make them feel better in a bad mental state or to derive self-worth, which is very unhealthy.

Meaningless sex may not be for everyone. Just like every other type of sex, from pegging to role-play.

[Read: Sexless relationship: why sex matters & how to spark passion again]

How meaningless sex can be harmful to a fragile emotional state

If you’re going through a hard time, meaningless sex may only make it better in one moment and leave long-term negative effects. [Read: 12 mysterious factors that play a huge part in emotional stability]

Sex, even meaningless sex, causes the brain to release oxytocin, making us feel more emotionally tied to the person we’re having sex with. Basically, you’re biologically wired to attach to any sexual partners, so it’s not only common, it’s natural.

If it’s not a one-night-stand, you’re most likely spending all that time learning things about your sex buddy, and without intending to, getting to know them on a more personal level. If you realize that you enjoy their company, chances are feelings may evolve.

Another potential disadvantage of meaningless sex *especially for women* is how it doesn’t feel as good as the sex that takes place in an ongoing partnership. According to a survey, only 10 per cent of women reach orgasm during one-night stands.

[Read: Geisha balls: how to use them for more pleasure & a stronger pussy]

The warning signs meaningless sex is not for you

Once again, there’s nothing wrong with having hot, pointless romps with someone you find sexy – so long as you’re of sound mind. Here’s how you can determine if having meaningless sex is a bad idea:

[Read: How to hook up with a guy: 35 tips to do it right & make no mistakes]

1. You just got out of a serious relationship

This is usually the time most people want to have meaningless sex and it’s by far the worst. You just got out of a serious relationship. Your feelings are raw and real and you can’t just hop into bed with new people.

Because that sex won’t be meaningless. It’ll serve a very specific purpose and that’s to fill a void you recently acquired. You’ll get attached. And if you don’t, you’ll feel even emptier when this fling ends.

[Read: Female behavior & 21 things girls do after a breakup to feel better]

2. They have feelings for you

Even if it’s meaningless to you, it’s not to someone else. That’s not a good recipe when it comes to sex. They could get clingy and make things uncomfortable and then you’ll have to deal with the fallout. Just avoid having sex when you don’t feel the same for someone. [Read: 14 things you have to teach your new FWB partner]

3. You have feelings for them

This is also a terrible idea. You should never have sex with someone and claim it’s meaningless when it definitely means something to you. They might not care and they might think it’s pointless, but it’s not. No matter what, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise when you feel for them.

So do not enter a friends with benefits relationship or that sort of thing if you know you cannot separate feelings from sex. [Read: What does friends with benefits mean to a guy: do guys get hooked?]

4. It feels like a big deal

If this type of sex feels like a big deal but you can’t quite pinpoint why you shouldn’t be doing it. Meaningless sex is just that – it means nothing. You should be able to go about your life as if nothing is happening.

If you feel like something major is going on even though you’re not sure why, don’t continue with it. There are some feelings going on about meaningless sex and that makes it exactly the opposite of what it should be. [Read: How to read the signs he wants to make love to you and not use you]

5. You have self-esteem issues

There are a lot of people who sleep around, claiming that it doesn’t mean anything when really, they need validation. They feel bad about themselves – except when they’re having pointless sex with someone.

Except there is a point to it. You want to feel better about yourself. Sex is the most toxic way you can try to boost your confidence because it never works. In fact, it might derail it more in the long run. [Read: 35 funny things that’ll help build your self-esteem]

6. You have a lot of stress problems

Sex is a great stress reliever, but not when stress is taking over your life. When you turn to sex to solve your problems instead of healthier methods, it won’t help you. Avoid having meaningless sex when you have more important things to worry about.

[Read: 17 things guys think about after you sleep with them for the first time]

7. You still want a relationship

It doesn’t have to be with the person you’re sleeping with, obviously. But if you do want a relationship with someone, having pointless sex with people isn’t the best idea.

It sets you up for failure and keeps you from finding someone who really does want a relationship. Plus, it increases the odds of you catching feelings for the other person.

[Read: Guys & casual relationships: why they like it & what they want from it]

8. They’re your ex

No matter how the relationship was and ended, it’s never a good idea to have sex with your ex. You can say it’s meaningless, but deep down, you know it’s not. There’s a reason you’re having sex with them and not someone else. It’s because you and this person have history.

You’ve spent so much time learning about each other’s likes and dislikes, so it’s certainly better to have sex with them than with new people. However, this won’t go well for long.

What happens when your ex finally decides to start dating again and it’s not you that they want? What if it’s you who wants to get serious with someone new? Situations like this rarely go down peacefully, so don’t risk it.

[Read: Kissed your ex or made out with them? What it means & what to do next]

9. You’re cheating

Cheating will only lead to someone getting hurt if not everyone. Leave your partner first before you start seeing other people.

You may tell yourself that it’s just meaningless sex for as many times as you want. It may mean nothing to you, but so much to the one you’re cheating on and potentially the person you’re cheating with.

[Read: Fantasize about cheating? Reasons why you go there in your mind]

10. They’re taken

Having meaningless sex with someone who’s in a relationship will get you nowhere. If it’s really just meaningless, find someone single who’s ready to give you their all. Think about all the trouble you’ll be in when the person’s partner finds out, and they will. It’s not worth it to hurt others just for a few moments of pleasure.

[Read: What is considered cheating these days? How to define your grey area]

11. You just want to be “bad”

If you only consider doing this for others’ approval, don’t. It’s understandable that when everyone around you is having meaningless sex, you feel peer pressured to try it, too. But make sure when you actually do it, it’s what you really want and you’re having fun. You shouldn’t do it if you feel uneasy, or even just the slightest amount of discomfort.

Signs you’re mentally prepared for meaningless sex and its benefits

The truth is, sometimes, having pointless sex is exactly what someone needs in life. If the below describes you, meaningless sex is probably perfectly fine for you. [Read: How to find the hookup of your dreams for casual sex]

1. You’re not tied down

You have no reason to avoid meaningless sex. You don’t have a relationship, you don’t have a job that won’t allow for it. Basically, you’re free as a bird and if that sounds like you, then this type of sex is perfect.

[Read: Booty call: what it is, steps to get a friend interested & hook up for fun]

2. You don’t have time for a relationship

There are a lot of jobs that don’t make time for relationships. Many doctors or people in similar careers have issues making time because of their hours. For that reason, meaningless sex is perfect. You can fulfill a need without worrying about the relationship part.

[Read: Horny women: 17 signs to recognize a girl who’s looking for a hookup]

3. Neither of you has feelings for each other

You both just don’t care about each other’s past your anything going on in their life right now. That might sound unhealthy but if your goal is sexual pleasure only, then it’s perfect. You don’t spend time chitchatting about your lives and can just get to it. [Read: A guide for becoming a fuck buddy]

4. You feel great about yourself and life

This is really the best way to determine if you can handle meaningless sex. The more confident you are in all aspects of your life, the better a fit this type of lifestyle is for you.

Because you’re not secretly reaching for validation with the sex. You’re only reaching for one thing and it starts with an O.

[Read: How to talk to girls on tinder: 25 ways to be and feel more confident]

5. You’re using protection

You can’t have meaningless sex if you’re not using protection, otherwise you should stop having meaningless sex immediately.

When you have sex without feelings, that person doesn’t really care about you. Why would you want to risk pregnancy or STDs with someone you don’t really like, either? Use protection and be careful. If you can do that, then you should definitely have all the pointless sex you want.

[Read: 11 amazing things I learned from no strings attached sex]

You have to be careful when it comes to meaningless sex. If you’re not, you might wake up and realize just how harmful it’s been to your health, psyche, and general safety.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...