When desire dies, what do you do? Check out our horny woman’s guide to increase your sex drive in the love shack and drive your man crazy in bed.
What happened to that sex kitten you were before? That great, naughty goddess in bed? The one whom your man used to worship? Now, you’re just too tired to get that sex groove on. You just slip into your sweats, tie your hair into a messy bun, and go to sleep with nothing but a rather unaffectionate kiss to your guy.
What happened?
Well, as you grow older and the demands of life like work, kids, and family take a bigger toll on you, you feel so tired that there’s suddenly no room for romance. Add that to your roller-coaster of hormones and emotions, and you’ve got the perfect buzzkill for sex.
So how do you increase your sex drive?
#1 Be sensual. Being sensual doesn’t just mean wearing sexy clothes and lingerie. It means being highly aware of your body and how your senses react to different things around you. Even the most mundane things, like a scarf, can be sensual with the right state of mind.
The secret is to heighten your senses and tune in on what turns you on. Once you regularly let yourself focus on the different sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feels of things around you, you will find that you will get aroused much more easily.
Note that this takes practice, so start with small, everyday things. For example, instead of gobbling up your lunch, take time to taste every flavor and feel every texture in your mouth. Eat your food thoughtfully—better yet, eat with your hands. By practicing being more thoughtful about everything around you, you become more sensual in every sense of the world, which can in turn hike up your libido. [Read: How to be a sexy seductress without being trying too hard]
#2 Be active. Get your heart pumping and your blood racing with exercise or any activity that will get you up and moving. Whether you walk instead of drive to the grocery store around the block, do yoga, or sign up to a nearby gym, it is important for you to exercise. Not only does this make you healthy, it also gives you a positive image of yourself, therefore boosting your self-confidence and your sex drive.
Exercise, or even just a few minutes of yoga *or why not try pole dancing to amp up the sensuality?*, can make you feel good about yourself and your body, thus boosting your sex drive.
#3 Shoot a sext to your man. Aside from the usual “how are you?” when you’re checking in on your man at work, why not send him something provocative like a sex-laced text message? Flash him a peek of what you’re wearing *or not wearing* by sending him a photo of your cleavage.
Whatever it is, make sure you feel sexy about it and not awkward, and your man will be so happy he will be sure to further boost your confidence. Doing this ever so often will not only make your romantic bond stronger, but it will also make you feel sexier. [Read: 12 super steamy sexting tips to turn a guy on instantly]
#4 Soak in a favorite photo. Whether you have a framed photo of your man on your desk or a wallpaper of your recent vacation on your computer or smartphone, take time to just stare at the image. This boosts your dopamine, helping you de-stress from work while also allowing you to increase your libido.
Better yet, undress him in your mind and start a little midday fantasy to get your mind off of work stress and make you look forward to your night with him.
#5 Hug. Be touchy-feely with your man. Hug him whenever you get the chance, as this releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone that triggers attachment. This can also build up your libido and sexual desire, so consider hugging your guy for at least 20 seconds regularly. Instead of rushing a goodbye kiss before heading out the door, linger a little longer and let those hormones do the work for you. [Read: How to spoon right – 11 tips to make spooning way more intimate]
#6 Switch your pill. Contraceptive pills are often the major low-libido culprits, so think about switching to a different pill. Different contraceptive pills have different effects on women, so it pays to experiment to find one that is right for you and will not hamper your sex drive. Of course, consult your physician about the best choices available to you.
#7 Feed your sex drive. You can also boost your sex drive with the help of the foods that you eat. Fruits such as figs, bananas, and avocados help increase your libido, as well as foods such as steak, oyster, salmon, and eggs. Consider snacking on these more often, especially before date night. Avoid libido-busting foods such as tofu, edamame, cereal, graham crackers, and licorice. [Read: 10 types of food that will get your libido to skyrocket in no time]
#8 Indulge in chocolate. Chocolate has long dominated the spot as the number-one aphrodisiac, and rightly so. That’s why we are dedicating an entry to it. Eating chocolate releases phenethylamine and serotonin, which can help lift your mood and get your groove on in time for sex.
So indulge in some Belgian chocolates once in a while—or better yet, nibble on some bonbons in bed with your man to definitely get your groove on.
#9 Romance-up your bedroom. Your bedroom should not only be your sanctuary, it should also be your sexual temple. Spice it up with rich draperies and bold colors that can make you feel more daring and sensual.
Invest in satin and silk sheets and beddings *even if you just sleep alone*, as these will help boost your senses and sensuality. Also, consider having aromatic candles and mood lighting as well as sensual music on hand to get you into the mood, whether for pleasuring yourself or just to keep your libido on high. [Read: How to decorate your bedroom for sex]
#10 De-stress. Being stressed is really one of the libido deal-breakers. It causes your body to produce cortisol, the hormone responsible for your “fight or flight” reflex, which can suppress your libido. When it’s time for you to hit the sheets or have some bedroom time, clear up your mind first and get rid of things that stress you out.
#11 Wear what makes you feel sensual. You don’t need to put on sexy lingerie if you feel awkward about it. That’s a great way to kill the mood. After all, sensuality should not be constricted to the bedroom. You can wear sexy lingerie at work, silk even when grocery shopping, or just walk around the house wearing a necklace and dangly earrings that make you become more attentive to your own body and the feelings you get from different textures.
#12 Get excited. When you’re doing something exciting, your heart is racing. Your nervous system is also in high gear, producing the same feelings you get when you are sexually aroused. Therefore, try to replicate these feelings by doing something exciting or something you’ve never done before. Go on an adventure, try extreme sports, or simply get your blood pumping. [Read: How to get over a sexual dry spell without putting yourself under pressure]
#13 Have some red. Women who drank a glass of red wine daily reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication, compared with those who sipped any kind of alcohol only occasionally or those who didn’t drink at all, according to a study in the The Journal of Sexual Medicine. But make sure to stick to just a glass and don’t get yourself too drunk to actually get on the bed, get undressed, and get it on. That is just a no-no.
#14 Get him to wear red. So as crazy as it sounds, what your man wears also has an effect on you. Therefore, urge him to wear the red shirt on your date night—you may want to tear it off him before dessert. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 super sexy ways]
#15 Get enough sleep. People who don’t get enough sleep are often those who are easily fatigued and stressed, and therefore have a decreased sex drive. So if you want to be in the mood for some bedroom activities, consider sleeping enough first.
[Read: 25 horny ways to increase your sex drive and keep it high]
From what you eat to what you wear and what you think, there are many ways to help increase your sex life—so don’t give up just yet. Before you even consider being celibate, try out these tips and invoke that sex kitten in you.
