Remember when you were so sure you were going to marry the one who deflowers you? Here’s a walk down the memory lane of your misconceptions about sex.
Sex makes your world go round, and sexual relationships are like photographs – best when developed in the dark. And without question, sex is the answer to most questions!
And yet, there was a time in your life when you’ve had pretty questionable ideas about sex.
The young and inexperienced tend to overly dramatize, stigmatize, and misperceive many aspects of sex while looking at it through a magnifying glass of cultural beliefs and social conventions. And you were probably one of them. Today, with internet hype as a modus vivendi, younger generations still accept fake facts about sex and build expectations even more easily.
Funny misconceptions we had about sex when we were younger
There are a lot of myths about sex that are just as unreal as Santa Claus or the fabled prince on a white horse. Here is a list of 25 strange things you believed about sex when you were younger *or you still do*. In case of emergency, this is probably a good time to break the taboos.
#1 Next to giving birth, losing one’s virginity is the most painful bloody *pun intended* experience a woman will have in her life. It doesn’t have to be. Blood is involved only if the hymen is broken, and the main cause of pain during defloration are wrong convictions filled with anxiety. If you are a female who had a rough first sexual experience, it was probably because your nerves were making your vaginal muscles constrict or your partner didn’t indulge in enough foreplay to turn you on. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]
#2 You will marry the first person you have sex with. Not really. Sex with a happy ending sounds like a romantic fairytale, yet most people don’t spend the rest of their lives with their first sexual encounter. It’s a nice ideal, but not one that’s suited to the modern world.
#3 You will get pregnant if you have any contact with sperm. There are a lot of creative theories about procreation, but no, no one ever got pregnant with a well aimed facial or by swallowing bodily fluids.
#4 Buying condoms is shameful. When you were younger and you had just started having sex, you were probably shamefaced when buying condoms because you kept thinking, “Someone knows I am going to have sex!” Of course, soon you’ve realized this is just as absurd as a pregnant woman thinking, “I can’t get out of the house because everyone will know what I was up to!” [Read: Condom types and how they can improve your sex life]
#5 If the first sexual experience is bad, it means you’re not meant for each other. If there is strong chemistry, you might just need to work on the physics. Don’t give up so easily! The second time might be a far cry from the first, so don’t shoot it down!
#6 If a guy doesn’t have an erection, it means he doesn’t like you. On the contrary, it could mean he likes you too much. Guys who are so nervous about pleasing you may sometimes fail to get an erection. Take it as a compliment, and try to ease the poor guy’s nerves. [Read: Why does losing an erection bother men so much?]
#7 The bigger the penis, the better the sex. Life is too short to question if something is too short. Penises, breasts, or any other body parts don’t have to be large in order for you to enjoy them. [Read: Big vs. small – why bigger isn’t always better]
#8 The longer the sex, the better. Not true. It can actually be extremely exhausting *and leave you sore too*. Time is relative, and so is the length of the intercourse. Sometimes, a quickie oral is more fulfilling than an hour-long gallop in bed. Anyhow, the best sex is with someone who makes you forget about the concept of time.
#9 In a good relationship, you need to have sex every day, and it has to be good every time. Really? And what about those nights when the two lovebirds just want to cuddle? It doesn’t matter if it’s three times per week or three times per day. Couples who have sex based on the pleasure principle and not just because they feel obligated to, usually have a healthier relationship.
#10 If you hump away, you’ll eventually find the G-spot. The G-spot can actually be harder to find than the clitoris, and just pumping in random directions at your partner won’t guarantee that you’ll find it. Luckily for you, exploring a woman’s lady parts can actually be a fun activity for both of you. [Read: How to tingle her g-spot without using a flashlight]
#11 You have to try everything sexually. If you’re not sure about anal sex, talk about it. If you love it, say it. Experimenting might be the null hypothesis of a successful relationship, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Communication is the ultimate stimulant.
#12 Only synchronized orgasms prove you are connected. Not at all. Climaxing at the same time is a rare situation, so climbing on top, one after another is completely normal. After all, knowing you are the reason your sexual partner has reached climax is good enough, right? [Read: Do simultaneous orgasms really happen in real life?]
#13 You need to finish what you’ve started. When you order lackluster food at a restaurant and the waiter asks you why you didn’t finish your meal, are you going to continue eating just because you feel awkward? Of course not. You can stop with the coitus anytime when it doesn’t feel right for you. It won’t make your sex life worse!
#14 You need to show your partner all your moves. If you perceive sex as a competition, someone is going to lose their orgasm. It’s all about the pleasure, and there’s no need to whip out every sex tip you’ve ever learned, every single time.
#15 Drunk sex is better than sober sex. Debatable. Alcohol may help you shed your inhibitions, but it can also help you shed your motor functions, your sensitivity, and your consciousness. If you refuse to have sex while sober, aim for a slight buzz instead of outright inebriation. [Read: 10 reasons why drunken sex is never a good idea]
#16 Having STDs means you are cheating. Does that mean not having it proves you are loyal? No. Sexually transmitted diseases can befall anyone because some of these diseases can be transferred through other means.
#17 Sex on a first date means you have no morals. Get that system of values out of your system! If you feel like it’s the right thing to do, you have all the freedom to do it. Restricting your sex life to social expectations is just going to leave you frustrated. [Read: Sex on the first date – should you give in to the urge?]
#18 Porn represents the right way to have sex. Not really. Porn movies show activities that are visually appealing and might be convenient if you desperately want to learn a few tricks. However, sex is a series of intuitive, intimate scenes you can’t direct by following a predetermined scenario. Your bae should be your favorite porn star. And your sex moves should be about what feels good for both of you. [Read: 25 myths about porn a lot of people still believe!]
#19 Women don’t masturbate or watch porn. False. It’s a joke funnier than the satirical saying that man first walked upright in order to free his hands for masturbation. Male or female makes no difference when it comes to masturbation and porn. Masturbation tendencies are based on various factors such as lifestyle habits, homeostasis, and personality traits, while enjoying porn might just be a question of aesthetic preferences. [Read: 10 reasons why many women don’t admit to watching porn]
#20 Men are more promiscuous than women. Wrong. It’s just that society is more forgiving of promiscuous men, and women are judged for simply being sexually active. That’s why men aren’t generally ashamed of announcing the number of women they’ve slept with, while women are more likely to shave off their actual number.
#21 The man is the one who wears pants in a relationship, so he is the one who needs to initiate sex. The truth is, in a good relationship, no one is wearing pants *darn flashers!*. Watch out for these gender role stereotypes because double standards are double trouble.
#22 Women are more likely to give oral sex than men are. Sadly, this only seems to be the case because a lot of women are afraid to ask their men to go down on them. To all the male readers: Offer it up! And to all the female readers: Learn to ask! [Read: How to make a man go down on you without a push]
#23 A woman’s sexual desire is measured by how wet she is. Maybe in a man’s wet dream. A woman could be in bed with a guy she’s extremely attracted to, while her nether regions may be as dry as a desert at the same time. In cases like these, a good lubricant is always a good idea, don’t forget that.
#24 Men think about sex every seven seconds. This is a lie bigger than “Every woman would buy a dildo if it would pull her hair and call her dirty names.”
#25 Men are always horny. No. Sexual desire is a continuum, which means some men have continual sexual arousal, while others might not have such a constant, high urge. Every man’s libido fluctuates from days when he feels extremely horny to days when he does not feel sexual at all.
[Read: 13 untold sex secrets you definitely need to know!]
There are almost as much fake facts about sex as there are fake orgasms. The best way forward is to not have any prejudices about sex. Think of sex as an imaginary place where vaginas, boobs, penises, and six-packs don’t actually matter, and we make love by pouring passion into each other’s eyes. Now spread this conviction!
