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Domestic Discipline: The Newbie’s Guide to a Sexy Spanky Start

If you and your partner are looking to broaden your sexual horizons, get that hand ready to spank some ass because it’s domestic discipline time.

Domestic Discipline

Perhaps you’re simply curious to know what is it or you maybe even consider incorporating domestic discipline into your relationship. This used to be a taboo subject, but recently it’s becoming more mainstream, thanks to movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, which is more BDSM, but has a similar vibe.

Domestic discipline for beginners

So, if that whole Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele sexapade got you hot and bothered, well, why not give domestic discipline a try? You’re going to have to throw out the “hitting is bad” idea and open your mind to this type of lifestyle.

Because there’s a lot more to it than you think.

#1 What is domestic discipline? Basically, domestic discipline is a relationship between two consenting partners where one is submissive and one is dominant. The submissive receives punishment and rewards by their dominant based on their behavior. That’s what it is in a nutshell, however, it’s more complex than that. [Read: Spanking women – How and when to spank a bad, bad girl]

#2 Know what you want. Your best friend is in a domestic discipline relationship and now you wanna try it out. But what if you try it and don’t like it? Don’t keep going just because you’re in some weird competitive spirit.

You have to make sure you want to do this because of you, not anyone else. So, before you even sit down with your partner, sit down with yourself and really think about it.

#3 Make sure it’s consensual. You can’t just walk up to your partner and start spanking them when they do something that pisses you off. That’s called domestic violence, people. There’s a big difference.

So, sit down with your partner and explain to them what domestic discipline is and that you’re interested in trying it out. Don’t pressure them into anything, let them feel it out on their own. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first timers]

#4 Be ready to answer a lot of questions. Obviously, they want to know what the hell domestic discipline even is and how it works. So, make sure you come prepared to answer any questions that they have, because they’re going to have them. Have some YouTube clips prepared and show them examples of how it works. [Read: 10 fiery hot reasons you should date someone with a fetish]

#5 Make a strict list of rules. If you don’t make any rules, then it’s basically a free for all, and we don’t want that. Now that your partner is up to try it, you need to make a strict set of rules that cannot be broken.

These rules help keep the framework of the relationship in place and also help guide you and your partner, especially in the beginning. You can always change the rules, but it has to be changed between the two of you. You ain’t the president.

#6 Don’t rush into it. If your partner is all in agreement, you probably want to jump right into it and get started. Don’t. If you rush into it, you may miss important steps and overlook rules that need to be examined. Take it easy. It’s not going to be some walk in the park.

In the beginning, you and your partner are going to try to figure out how it works and what method works best for you. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get spanked or spank. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a really sexy relationship]

#7 Punishment must be explained. You just can’t punish people without telling them what they did wrong. I mean, it doesn’t work like that in any facet of life, so why would it be the case in a domestic discipline relationship?

For every punishment, the reasoning must be explained to the submissive. So, if you’re the dominant, when you have your partner bent over your knees with their pants to their ankles, you have to tell them why.

#8 Never punish when angry. This is the most important rule to remember for both the submissive and dominant.

If you’re actually feeling anger, do not punish your partner. As a human being, it’s obviously normal to feel anger, I mean, you’re human, however, you cannot be angry when punishing. So, before punishing, remove yourself and make sure you’re in a collected state before carrying out any punishment. [Read: The craziest kinky sex stories from Reddit that’ll make you go “oh!”]

#9 Don’t forget about rewarding. Here we are talking only about punishing, but you forgot about rewarding. Rewarding is a huge aspect of domestic discipline, however, that’s what encourages positive behavior. You don’t have to buy them a car, it can be as small as saying thank you or making them dinner.

The point is, encourage positive behavior and showing appreciation. Now, don’t overdo it with the rewarding, you don’t have to reward every single thing that’s done well.

#10 The first spank. Listen, if you think the first spank isn’t going to be awkward, it will be. I mean, how can it not be. It’s the first time you and your partner are trying it out. You should expect to have a variety of emotions, feelings of pressure, apprehension, love, relief.

What’s important is that you two talk about your emotions and what it felt like. You want to see how your partner feels about the experience. [Read: Naughty is nice – The couples’ guide to erotic spanking]

#11 Spanking essentials. So, you know you have a couple options when it comes to spanking. You can use your hand, a wooden spoon, a hairbrush, ping pong paddle, or wooden paddle. You’ll just have to try out which tool works the best for you and your partner. Some leave bruising while others easily slip out of your hand. So, you’ll have to shop around.

#12 How to spank. I know you may think there’s some science to it, but there’s not. You can spank over the knee, leaning on the armrest of your couch, or kneeling on furniture. Really, however you two agree on where and how to spank, that’s where you’ll do it. Don’t worry about it being right, just do what feels the best for you two.

[Read: From red room to real word: BDSM in your boudoir]

Now that you know about domestic discipline, if you’re still curious, sit down with your partner and have a chat about it. Who knows where that road will take you.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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