Asian happy ending massages are all around us, and notoriously popular in the deep underbelly of the salacious world of sensual massages. But what are happy ending massages really?
This is awkward, but well, yeah, I’ve had an Asian happy ending massage a few times now. So what’s my happy ending massage experience all about? Here’s everything you need to know!
My tryst with happy ending massages
It all started while I was browsing a “family unfriendly” website late at night while lying in bed. Bored and tired, especially my hands, I started scrolling through pages and deep muffled moans until my eyes stared to droop.
Porn is fun. But after a while, it gets very predictable and yawn-inducing. 30 pages of hitting the “next page” and I was bored and losing my hard on already. This was a decade ago, and I was single back then, lonely, and the regular adultfriendfinder pop ups were pretty annoying. But something caught my eye at the bottom of one page I was viewing.
I could see a gorgeous Asian girl barely wearing anything, and the words read “Want a massage? Happy endings assured!”
I clicked the banner and one thing led to another, and eventually I found myself memorizing the location of a happy ending massage parlor near my place.
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What is a happy ending massage?
For the less informed, a happy ending massage is a massage that is usually performed by a girl on a guy, and the girl finishes off the guy with a full blown handjob or more.
Now that is pretty exciting, and definitely a fetish straight out of a fantasy world for most men. Getting felt up by a girl who’s a stranger, and getting a handjob too? If that isn’t every guy’s fantasy, what is? [Read: The most arousing sexual fantasies that are worth trying in real life]
Are Asian happy ending massage common?
I didn’t know this before my first happy ending massage, but they’re pretty common in many countries. And there are many versions of happy ending massages too, all the way from a regular massage with a hand job, all the way to soapy massages where the girl lathers herself with soap and gives you a full body massage with her body. And then we have the oil massages, the massage that ends with sex and several other variations in between.
Of course, it still doesn’t mean any of this is legal. It’s just that in many countries, the people who make the laws seem to just look the other way because it’s easier to ignore it than confront it.
A happy ending masseuse very different from a massage therapist
Firstly, you really shouldn’t confuse the two – a massage and a happy ending massage. A massage is just that, a trained specialist or a professional massage therapist who knows how to relax your muscles with just the right amount of pressure and manoeuvring.
And a happy ending massage? Well, there is some massaging included. But the minx who’ll be massaging you would be more focused on a sexual approach towards a massage. She’s probably not trained to give you a real massage, but she know how to get you to feel very relaxed by the end of it all!
Most massage therapists hate masseuses that provide happy ending massages because, well, of course, they give massage therapists a bad name! But I guess you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to earn a few bucks, as long as the whole act is consensual.
Now that we’ve cleared the difference between the two, on to my experience now. [Read: Honest, uncovered secrets about the female pro industry]
My first happy ending massage
The very next weekend after I came across the ad on my screen, I found myself standing in a bustling Asian lane, noisy, small and full of shops, and staring at a board that looked new and flashy. Quite unlike the dingy, shabby places you’d expect to see after reading reviews of happy ending massages!
I walked into the parlor and was introduced to a bevy of petite Asians, giggling and whispering. It was really awkward, and I could feel sweat beads building up on the back of my neck. But I guessed they wanted me to pick a girl instead of dawdling and ogling. So I sheepishly pointed towards one, who smiled back and stepped ahead. And all the other girls walked back to their seats in the corner of the room, where they continued talking to each other animatedly.
After finishing up all the formalities, the parlor boss lady, who was a rather attractive older woman herself, asked me to pay her in advance.
I found that quite surprising, what if I didn’t like the massage. But I didn’t go all the way there to head back home, so I paid her about a hundred dollars *a decade ago*, for the “full job”, as she put it. [Read: The top taboo sex topics we love but never talk about]
My walk into the “massage room”
I’d heard that a happy ending massage was illegal everywhere other than in Nevada, so I was worried if there was going to be a cop sticking his baton up my rear end anytime soon, but I was reassured by the parlor lady. “No police. This legal. Enjoy. Go. Go.”
Somehow, those monosyllabic series of responses calmed my nerves. I was excited, I had a picked a girl who seemed friendly, pretty, and also somehow reassuring. So I walked into a bare, small room. The girl led me towards a bed, and asked me to undress and slip into a freshly washed robe. I stood confused for s second, until she giggled after understanding my predicament and drew a curtain that was strategically placed between the bed and where she stood.
I nervously took my clothes off behind the sheer curtain, pausing a second longer to remove my drawers and contemplating if I should remove it, and decided to go all the way anyway. I wore the robes and lay down on the firm, but clean and comfortable bed. The AC was blasting cold air, and I could feel myself stiffening up all over already! [Read: Redditors tell us what happens when you date a stripper]
Enjoying my illegal massage
It started out as a regular massage, but it was exciting. Within a few minutes after starting the massage, she handed me a little towel and asked me to disrobe myself. Wait?! What was the robe for, then? No questions asked, I removed the robe again, and wrapped the tiny towel around my waist and placed my head on the firm mattress again.
My heart was beating loud, so I closed my eyes as I waited for the good time to come. The masseuse I picked was dressed in a sheer white top and a black bra, and was sensually moving her arms all over me, occasionally grazing her soft breasts against my shoulders.
It was rather spine tingling, like going to a salon and having your hair cut by a naughty girl. You know, like those times when the flirty hairdresser starts to get naughty and squishes her boobs against your shoulders and face way too often, and in more than just an accidental way and lingers way longer than necessary, and gives you a wink? [Read: A girl’s guide to make any guy horny and hard just by sitting next to him]
Climaxing to a happy ending
At first, nothing.
It started off like a very professional massage, and she was very good at it too! She did nothing naughty, nothing kinky, it was just a regular massage. Of course, occasionally, her hand did graze against my nether regions as she paid special attention to my thighs.
But on the whole, so far, it felt like a typical Thai massage that you’d experience in any professional setting. All of the works, the firm and strong stretches and bends that made me feel really good all over.
About a good hour of regular massaging later, she tugged at my loin cloth and there I was, laying there naked like I knew this girl since forever. It took a few seconds as I felt the blood rush into my loins. Just flashing her gave me a huge erection! [Read: Sexy public flashing confessions]
She seemed professional, and spoke occasionally, barely audible but sultry. Her hands found all the right places, and gosh, this girl was talented. She touched me in places even I didn’t know has sensation, and for crying out loud, I acquainted myself with my privates often!
It felt good, and I could barely last five minutes. Damn, she was good and I was overexcited. She smiled at me.
“You come back again, and I’ll give you a surprise, okay?” she told me.
Of course, I was going to come back. I loved the experience. I tipped her twenty dollars. She looked at the money, and she asked me if I didn’t like the massage!
What? Of course I did. I gave her another twenty.
“Now you showed me you like my massage,” she gleefully added.
Me and the Asian happy ending massages
I had heard that Asian massages were good, but what I experienced was overwhelmingly good. It felt nice, not like what many people say. It wasn’t dirty, dingy, full of ugly women, nothing. It was a good Asian happy ending massage!
I was falling in love with the sensation of having a massage, and found myself going to her once a week. The surprises started getting better and I found myself having sex with her every week. I got to know her better, and we even started meeting up beyond our “professional” workspace. She was a nice girl, and very affectionate, touchy feely, and friendly. At times, her surprises also included getting another girl in for the massage. Life was good. And no bitter endings here. Life is still good!
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Massage experiences and memories
Now there are a lot of stories about these girls being illegal immigrants and poverty stricken, and my masseuse told me that it’s true to a certain extent. But it’s not always the case. Some girls just choose this profession to make ends meet.
She herself had taken up this job willingly to provide for her family, who were still living in a village back in her country. She told me she was looking for other jobs, but this was quick money she could use until she saves up enough to quit this line of work, and start looking for a real job.
About a year after I first met my masseuse, she quit the massage parlor and started working as a waitress, and four years later, she now works in a bank. I was really happy for her when she made the transition and proudly told me she works in the corporate world now!
We’re still friends, and I would occasionally get a surprise from her! And of course, I would return the favor too! It’s not illegal to get a massage from a friend, right? It’s been a few years since we’ve met each other, life just got in the way.
We’re still connected on social media now, and I still like and comment on her posts as does she. And every time she posts a new picture with her new friends, leading a whole new life far away from her secret past, I can’t help but be happy for her. We have our memories now, and what started out as a happy ending massage has now turned us into friends, and acquaintances.
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I’m a law abiding citizen now, and my Asian massage experiences have been fun. I can’t say all experiences are going to be great, nor do I suggest you get one. But an Asian happy ending massage is definitely a great fantasy that’s worth thinking about!